Pirate Funny

When Addi and her friends board a cruise going a slightly different route, they're prepared for trouble. But not this much trouble. First, they're attacked by pirates. Then, they have to work with a new, unknown crew. And then - there's a murder. Now, it's up to Addi and her friends to find a killer on board their ship, before they strike again... Praise for A.R. Winters: "The perfect balance of being lighthearted, but still a serious page-turning mystery." - Jaycie D, Amazon.com "A fun cozy mystery with engaging and entertaining characters" - lq, Amazon.com "For fans of Janet Evanovich, ...

I thought saving the galaxy four times was enough. Turns out, the galaxy disagreed. When a ruthless fleet of intergalactic space pirates storms the Dominion’s trade routes, Alex and the crew of the Starflare find themselves in the middle of a war they never asked for—again. Their mission: stop the biggest pirate armada in the quadrant before it burns half the galaxy to ash. Outgunned, outnumbered, and low on snacks, Alex, Lucy, Joey, and the rest of the crew have to pull off their most insane plan yet. Between malfunctioning tech, questionable alliances, and a pirate queen with a ...

There will be plenty of time for me to beat him soundly once I've gotten what I came for. Sent on a mission to retrieve an ancient hidden map—the key to a legendary treasure trove—seventeen-year-old pirate captain Alosa deliberately allows herself to be captured by her enemies, giving her...

Get ready to set sail with "Salty Limericks," a hilarious and irreverent collection of poems that will leave you laughing out loud. Whether you're a sailor, a pirate, or simply a lover of the sea, these carefully crafted limericks are sure to entertain and delight. With clever wordplay and a dash of rudeness, each poem delivers a tasty punchline that will have you chortling with glee. Written by a skilled poet, these limericks are a true feast of fun, casting a net to drag a catch of wriggling, rib-tickling words to shore. And the best part? You can share them with your friends and family, ...

Read the bestselling books that inspired the hit movie sensation! When Hiccup finds a coffin at sea, he opens it to discover a riddle that will lead to the treasure of Grimbeard the Ghastly, the world's greatest pirate and Hiccup's ancestor. So Hiccup and his friends set out on a treasure hunt...

"A skillful narration of this story, especially its humor, makes this a fun and enjoyable performance" —AudioFile on Can't Spell Treason Without Tea Bookshops & Bonedust meets Our Flag Means Death in this cozy fantasy on the low seas, where lesbian pirates find out if enemies actually can...

The Pirate Bible is a complete translation of the King James Version of the Bible into pirate-speak. All of the original books, chapters, verses, stories and characters are present, but the dialogue has been rewritten to bring an entertaining, swashbuckling flavor to the pages. Each book of the Bible is included; guaranteed to bring a smile. This is an excellent gift for anyone who loves the Bible, but also enjoys a lighthearted take on the stories it contains.

A prim lady. A scandalous pirate. A high-seas seduction that could sink them both. Lady Priscilla Worthington has spent her life buttoned up—poised, polished, and promised to a man she can’t stand. But when her carriage is hijacked and she’s taken aboard the infamous Crimson Corsair, she finds herself in the clutches of Captain Rogelio Velmontaine—a rogue with a wicked grin, a silver tongue, and absolutely no sense of decency. Storm-tossed and scandal-bound, Priscilla is drawn into a world of rum-soaked revelry, moonlit danger, and pleasures she never dared imagine. But as desire ...

When ancient magic meets scorching passion, destiny is rewritten on the tides... Lady Priscilla Worthington-Velmontaine thought a family reunion would involve polite tea and distant cousins—not shirtless obstacle courses, long-lost pirate relatives, and a mysterious underwater prophecy. Alongside her devilishly charming husband, Captain Rogelio “The Randy Raven” Velmontaine, Priscilla is swept into the stormy chaos of the annual Pirate Lineage Summit. But when their steamy encounter in a crystal cave awakens dormant magic, they uncover a twisted legacy that could unravel time itself. ...

A prim lady. A scandalous pirate. A high-seas seduction that could sink them both. Lady Priscilla Worthington has spent her life buttoned up—poised, polished, and promised to a man she can’t stand. But when her carriage is hijacked and she’s taken aboard the infamous Crimson Corsair, she finds herself in the clutches of Captain Rogelio Velmontaine—a rogue with a wicked grin, a silver tongue, and absolutely no sense of decency. Storm-tossed and scandal-bound, Priscilla is drawn into a world of rum-soaked revelry, moonlit danger, and pleasures she never dared imagine. But as desire ...

In a world where your child is brimming with excitement about tomorrow's adventures, winding down at the end of the day can pose a unique challenge. This collection of bedtime stories and guided audio meditations is designed to help children of all ages unwind deeply and prepare for a restful sleep.

Nothing breaks the ice like a frozen wife and whiskey. In the murderously hot kingdom of Lithowania—an island so deliberately missing from maps that explorers go to "great pains" to exclude it—Captain Slavic Kristofferson arrives with the ultimate diplomatic strategy: a massive ice sculpture of his wife's face. Where previous negotiators earned only spears in their hulls, Kristofferson's whiskey-on-ice and innovative snow machine soon have the natives building temples to frozen Hilda. After all, when you've spent your entire existence melting, the sudden discovery of "cold" becomes ...

Here be pirates! … Oh, and here be Dragons! GNARRR!!! And then there were less pirates. When a young soldier comes to beg help from Thundersong and Queen Azania to rescue his sister, snatched by pirates, the scent of adventure proves irresistible. Hoicking the lad up by his bootlaces, they promptly set off in pursuit of ye foul brigands. Never mind that the King will have a Dragon’s guts for whisking his very pregnant wife off across the Lumis Ocean. Minor detail. A rollicking adventure unfolds as the young lady in question proves unexpectedly elusive. Many dangers threaten out in the ...

Girls, guys, robots, teleportation; spaceships, space battles, space pirates plus a deeper understanding of Tarzan's thought process when he first met another human being – it’s all mashed-up, along with just the right amount of humor and wit, and served with a liberal amount of alcohol throughout the Small Universe series. Teleport This is a fast-paced, science fiction adventure without the extra heavy baggage found in hardcore space operas or the ultra-wackiness found in satirical sci-fi novels. The story starts off in a contemporary Earth setting, add in a couple guys and a girl, ...

In the tradition of Blow and Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, The Last Pirate is a vivid, haunting and often hilarious memoir recounting the life of Big Tony, a family man who joined the biggest pot ring of the Reagan era and exploded his life in the process. Three decades later, his son...

In Soul to Soul, Jon, Simon and Lyn continue to trip and stumble across the universe in search of the ultimate margarita and a possible date for their friend Gilbert. As usual, they become tangled up with the universal forces of confusion, female androids are added into the mix, abstract consciousness is discovered in soup bowl, late night cable movies are discussed, insane theories win out and, as always, an ample amount of alcohol is consumed along the way. All this for your reading entertainment. This novel supports Amazon’s ‘look inside’ feature so if you like witty dialogue and ...

In Geppetto’s Daughter, family bonds are stretched, various appendages are cut off, castle walls are breached, warranties are voided, space battles occur, jokes are made about pianists and, of course, a liberal amount of alcohol is consumed throughout. All this for your reading pleasure. This novel supports Amazon’s ‘look inside’ feature so if you like witty dialogue and interesting characters coupled with an absorbing story line click on the cover image and read a bit. If you like it, buy it. If you really like it, buy three or four. Geppetto’s Daughter is the third book in the ...

When Lady Priscilla Worthington's supposedly dead mother appears on a notorious pirate ship, her already complicated life with the flamboyant Captain Rogelio "The Randy Raven" Velmontaine takes a turn for the bizarre. Pursued by her aristocratic father, a Duke she was meant to marry, and an octopus with inexplicable romantic intentions, Priscilla must navigate family revelations that shake the very foundation of her identity. A magical treasure map tattooed on her mother's posterior leads the unlikely crew on a swashbuckling adventure through vine-swinging acrobatics, poetry-loving monkey ...

The happy, tranquil, traditional way of life on the remote, little Scottish island of Skran far out in the Firth of Clyde is threatened with unwanted upheaval along with an environmental disaster by big business. Can Bonnie and Clive Sutherland help prevent it or will money speak. Drams, Jams and Scams follows on from where our previous book Daydream Believers left off. Drams are the moonshine peatreek that is illicitly distilled on the island, that they are continually being offered. The jams are what they get into when they encounter tight spots; including ghosts, a mysterious station ...

FIRST PRIZE: Reader’s Choice: Best SciFi Time Travel Trilogy - 2023 SECOND PRIZE: Firebird Awards: Time Travel Novels - 2024 On the brink of suicide, an insecure grad school drop out lets himself get abducted by kooky time traveling Venusians on a mission to prevent Armageddon by rescuing Jesus H Christ and helping him find the legendary emerald tablets, but when he’s cheated by his sources and abandoned by his allies, he must overcome his uncertainties to out-maneuver his rival plotters and the Romans before somebody gets crucified. READER REVIEWS: 5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't put it ...