Humorous Science Fiction Adventures

They came up on us like a gravy crap. We was just down by the creek dranking and shooting when them ugly suckers flanked us. My name is Lick. They call me Lick cause when I was a baby I used to lick everything. This is the story of me and my buddy Fanger. We call him Fanger cause when he was a kid he broke his panky fanger on his right hand and his mom and deddy didn't git it fixed right. Now it sticks out all the time like a fancy yankee or English man dranking tea. Anyway, this is the story of our first encounter and how we ended up on the run. Just like everybody else.

Tamsyn Muir’s Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap out of the audio, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy. Brought up by unfriendly, ossifying nuns, ancient retainers, and countless skeletons, Gideon is ready to abandon a life of servitude and an afterlife as a reanimated corpse.

Firstname Lastname is a no one with nowhere to go, with a name that is the result of an unfortunate clerical error and destined to be one of the only humans on an alien space station. That is, until she sneaks aboard a ship and joins up with a crew of repo men (they are definitely not pirates). Now she's traveling the galaxy "recovering" ships. What could go wrong?

What happens when the haggling is done and the shops are closed? When the quest has been given, the steeds saddled, and the adventurers are off to their next encounter? They keep the world running, the food cooked, and the horses shoed, yet what adventurer has ever spared a thought or concern for the Non-Player Characters? In the town of Maplebark, four such NPCs settle in for a night of actively ignoring the adventurers drinking in the tavern when things go quickly and fatally awry.

Everything I’d known about the world was a lie. On my thirteenth birthday, I, Alcatraz Smedry (yes, I got named after a prison, don’t ask), received my inheritance: a bag of sand. And then I accidentally destroyed my foster parents’ kitchen. It’s not my fault, things just break around me, I swear! I thought the sand was a joke until evil Librarians came to steal it. You’re probably thinking, “Librarians are nice people who recommend good books,” but that’s just what they want you to think!

In this sparkling tale, young merchant Abdullah purchases a magic carpet - and soon finds that the enchanted rug is none too agreeable. But despite the carpet's cranky demeanor, Abdullah must rely on its help to rescue a princess from a wicked djinn.

Steve likes to spend his mornings in the NCP village and trade his wheat for emeralds, armor, books, swords, and food. One morning, he finds that Zombies have attacked the villagers. The Zombies have also turned the village blacksmith into a Zombie, leaving Steve without a place to get swords. To protect himself and the few villagers that remain, Steve goes on a quest to mine for 40 diamonds, which are the most powerful mineral in the Overworld.

Alcatraz Smedry is up against a whole army of Evil Librarians with only his friend Bastille, a few pairs of glasses, and an unlimited supply of exploding teddy bears to help him. This time, even Alcatraz’s extraordinary talent for breaking things may not be enough to defeat the army of Evil Librarians and their giant librarian robots.

A girl named Charmain must inhabit her ailing great-uncle's time-traveling home full of magical belongings. As Charmain begins a journey of amazing discoveries, she comes to the attention of the powerful sorceress Sophie and an elusive wizard named Howl.

From the imagination of Rowley Jefferson comes an adventure of epic proportions. Join Roland and his best friend, Garg the Barbarian, as they leave the safety of their village and embark on a quest to save Roland's mom from the White Warlock. Will our heroes survive? Find out in Rowley Jefferson's Awesome Friendly Adventure!

Corin Cadence has been summoned to meet with the Emerald Council, a political summit including the most powerful of all attuned and their closest political allies. His summons came with a dire warning—that war was coming to the nation of Valia. While Valia is no stranger to warfare, the circumstances of this invasion are dire. Valia's visage, Tenjin, remains missing. Many of the nation's leaders were slain during Mizuchi's attack, and others killed or injured through Saffron's machinations. With a critical power vacuum in Valia's leadership, few can be trusted.

A Boston Globe-Horn Book Honor Book and ALA Notable and Best of the Year in Young Adult Fiction, Howl's Moving Castle is by acclaimed fantasy writer Diane Wynne Jones and was transformed into an Academy Award nominated animated motion picture by Hayao Miyazaki. On a rare venture out from her step-mother's hat shop, Sophie attracts the attention of a witch, who casts a terrible spell transforming the young girl into an old crone.

What will Gameknight999 do when his own friend is infected with the evil Herobrine virus? With the destruction of the infected Ender Dragon, the monster kings were forced to retreat. Herobrine's poisonous XP has been captured in an obsidian box and sealed tightly. Gameknight999 and his friends know that the obsidian box will have to be destroyed to eliminate the evil virus once and for all. But how? And who will be brave enough to do it?

Herobrine, the artificially intelligent virus, was deleted. The computer it resided in was completely destroyed. Without their leader, the few survivors of its evil army were cast away into the shadows. It looked as if there would finally be peace and happiness throughout the servers of Minecraft.

Bob Howard is a special operative for the British agency called The Laundry, and his task is to stop a rogue billionaire from using an artifact, known as Gravedust, with the power to reanimate the dead. The U.S. Black Agency sends the lethal Ramona Random to aid Bob’s mission, but she seems to have a different agenda.

In this third Alcatraz adventure, Alcatraz Smedry has made it to the Free Kingdoms at last. Unfortunately, so have the evil Librarians—including his mother! Now Alcatraz has to find a traitor among the Knights of Crystallia, make up with his estranged father, and save one of the last bastions of the Free Kingdoms from the Evil Librarians.

Morgan used to be a pretty normal guy. He went to college by day and played online games by night, leading his guild into new conquests - until he got hit by a car and a dude wearing a wet suit appeared in front of him. The man offered him a new chance at life in a world he had created, a world with similar rules to the games Morgan loved to play. There is the promise of great rewards and power, he says, if Morgan manages to complete the Tower of Power.

Me and Fanger been holed up out in the country recovering from the fight. We could handle pretty much all them critters except for them Maybelle Turner werewolves. Fanger got drunk one night and his strategic mind kicked in to action. He came up with a four-step plan for figuring out these alien critters. Phase one was to requisition some silver to make some bullets. Phase two was surveillance and recon. Phase three was stockpile more of that black ooze to keep ourselves invisible.

So now you've heard all about me, Alcatraz Smedry, and how I was swept out of my life in your normal world and into the fight against the Librarians (jerks!). After being all heroic and stuff in that tale, I didn’t expect to charge headlong into enemy territory: the Library of Alexandria, where I—and my grandpa and my grouchy bodyguard Bastille and her even grouchier mother and some weirdly gifted cousins—run across the Curators (ghosts who will gladly help you check out a book as long as you don’t mind giving up your mortal soul) and some new nasty Librarians who hate our guts.

Skeeve is a magician’s apprentice (and a wanna-be thief) until an assassin’s bolt kills his master, Garkin. Along with Aahz, the green-scaled, purple-tongued demon and master magician summoned by Garkin, he sets out on a quest to get even. The road to vengeance is bound to prove rocky, however, because Skeeve can barely light a candle with his beginning magic, and Aahz has lost his own considerable magical abilities as a consequence of Garkin’s summoning spell.