Humor Pets

Rex Dexter is itching to have a dog. His parents surprise him with a box. A box with holes. A box with holes and adorable scratchy noises coming from inside. Could it be? Yes! It has to be! A...a...chicken? One hour and 14 minutes later, the chicken is dead (by a steamroller), Rex is cursed (by the Grim Reaper), and wild animals are haunting Rex's room (hounding him for answers). Even his best friend, Darvish, is not going to believe this, and that kid believes everything.

Sticking their noses where they are most definitely not wanted. Despairing of their humans, these pets take it upon themselves to solve the cases they see as only cats and dogs can. Whether they sniff out the clues or fool the criminals into thinking they are harmless pets to be ignored, Rex, Amber, Buster, and more enjoy escapades a plenty in this fun collection of short stories. Grab your copy and be ready for the fur to fly! Includes: Police Dog - Day One Amber's Bust The Little Lost Dachshund Hell Cat Hell Hounds The Clown, the Witch, and the Cat The Case of the Missing Pasty

HIS NAME IS REX DEXTER. Yes. THAT Rex Dexter. The one cursed with the ability to see and talk to dead animals. The solver of atrocities against the four-footed. The savior of the flipper-finned. Save your standing ovation for later, because Rex has bigger things on his mind.

She's coming for your heart... To break a curse, Penny Lane is forced to hunt down a husband among the wicked mages at Rosewood Academy before her 18th birthday. With only a weasel, her wits and a handful of lollipops, this witch with a sweet tooth sets out to tame one of those mages, but can she keep her heart from being devoured by notoriously wicked, Drake Huntsman, who is the big bad wolf and a dragon? This modern fairytale will have you cheering for the witch and her happily ever after. This slow-burn academy romance's first 6-book series is complete and ready to binge-read today. ...

Four ridiculously silly stories with Henry, Lassie, Murdock, and some surprise guests.

When Tom's big brother decides to become an Evil Scientist, his first experiment involves dunking Frankie the goldfish into toxic green gunk. Tom knows that there is only one thing to do: Zap the fish with a battery and bring him back to life! But there's something weird about the new Frankie. He's now a Big Fat Zombie Goldfish with hypnotic powers... and he's out for revenge!

Rex Dexter is cursed...with brains...and daring...and more than his fair share of devilish good looks. But also with an actual curse: dead animals keep showing up in his bedroom, wanting him to solve their murders. After successfully sleuthing a series of endangered animal assassinations, Rex is pretty sure he's home free, spiritually speaking. But that's when he finds a 2,000-pound narwhal in his beanbag chair. And this tough guy is dead. And super crabby about it.

Jake Drake doesn't try to become teacher's pet. It's just that all of his teachers- and even the principal-seem to think that everything he does is wonderful. They keep patting him on the head, but the kids in Jake's school are rolling their eyes whenever he walks by. Narrator Johnny Heller captures all the hilarious frustration of a kid who just can't seem to do anything wrong.

Boy (Tim Heidecker) is a dog who is tired of being held back by humans. When he wakes one morning to find his owner dead, he assumes there’s no one left to stop him from achieving his goal of being a wild and majestic wolf. Unfortunately, he’s about to meet Rebecca (Patti Harrison), a lifelong slacker who is out to prove to her roommates (Poppy Liu and Danny Pudi) that she’s not a total loser by getting a job as a dog walker for a start-up called Bow-Now.

Albert and Rex are going to the palace. It’s the day the Kings' birthday honour list recipients get their knighthoods, but like everywhere else they go, there is trouble to be found. With his three children and youngest granddaughter, Apple-Blossom, in tow, Albert is a little embarrassed by the lavishness of the affair. Yet all that is forgotten when he spots a man he knows. A man guilty of murder. A man who can only be at the palace for one thing. But Albert is about to be presented to the king, now is not the time to be chasing criminals. I guess that's why he's Rex's sidekick. Step ...

When Tom zapped Frankie the goldfish back to life with a battery, he certainly didn't expect him to become a Big Fat Zombie Goldfish with incredible hypnotic powers. But it turns out that a zombie goldfish is a great pet to have on your side when your big brother is an evil scientist whose plans need to be thwarted. There's something fishy going on in the woods, as Tom and his best friend Pradeep take Frankie on a camping adventure. Could the Beast of Burdock Woods be real?

"Funny clever murder mystery!" - Amazon Reviewer Whitley “Whit” Leland is an out-of-work stuntwoman with an attitude. Stuck in a sleepy mountain village with her wannabe PI grandmother, Bobbie, she’s content to spend her time eating flaky pastries, mixing cocktails, and chasing after her wayward rescue dog. She also needs to keep her grandmother out of trouble, which is harder than she expects. Between rehearsals with the Ukulele Ladies, Bobbie investigates several seemingly unrelated accidents targeting local musicians. Whit enjoys teasing Bobbie about her true crime obsession--after...

New to the historic town of Metamora, Indiana, Cameron Cripps-Hayman is looking to make friends with her neighbors. What she isn't looking for is one of their bodies floating in the canal. When she and her estranged husband, the town sheriff, are both named suspects for the murder, Cameron takes solving the crime into her own hands, teaming up with her eccentric coworkers who dub themselves The Metamora Action Agency.

Age Level: 7 and up Grade Level: 2nd and up Over 2000 five-star series ratings and reviews on Amazon and Goodreads! A talking fox is so awesome! My name is Jonah Johnson, and I'm in the 6th grade -- but please call me Joe. My whole world was made better when I met a talking fox. I'm about to find out how Fox got the ability to walk and talk like humans. But before I can, we have to avoid a whole new enemy that wants to take Fox away. My Fox Ate My Alarm Clock is a entertaining fantasy for kids, teachers, and parents. It's an enjoyable story for children in elementary and middle school, and ...

Frankie was a completely normal pet goldfish until Tom's evil-scientist big brother, Mark, tried to murder him with toxic gunge! Luckily Tom and his best friend, Pradeep, shocked Frankie back to life with a battery, and he's been their zombie-fishy friend ever since. On a trip to the aquarium, something fishy starts going on. Something that almost certainly involves evil older brothers, a vampire kitten, a psychic octopus, and a plot to take over the world! Can Pradeep and Tom help Frankie to swim another day, or will he come to a squiddy end?

When Tom rescued Frankie the goldfish from his older brother's evil science experiment by zapping him back to life with a battery, he never expected his pet to become a big fat zombie goldfish with incredible hypnotic powers. But it's helpful when they are thwarting his big brother's evil plans. Tom and Pradeep are about to find out the truth behind the ancient Egyptian curse of the Cat King when their evil big brothers crash their overnight stay at the history museum.

Cats are skilled manipulators who can talk you into just about anything without a single word. They can get you to drop whatever you're doing and play with them. They can make you serve their dinner way ahead of schedule. They can get you to sit down right this instant and provide a lap. On the other hand, try getting a cat to do what you want.... While it's hard, persuading a cat is possible. And after that, persuading humans becomes a breeze, and that is what you will learn in this audiobook.

Gordon Korman knows the types of books kids like to read, considering he published his first novel at the ripe old age of 12. Since then, his unique brand of offbeat humor has helped him become a New York Times best-selling author. In this third tale featuring Griffin “The Man with the Plan” Bing, a tough new principal gets on Griffin’s last nerve, and the feeling is mutual. When a valuable ring is stolen from a school display case, Griffin realizes he’s been framed for the crime.

Welcome to Camp Mwhaaa-haa-ha-a-watha! This summer is going to be epic. Epically evil, that is. 'Cause I'm going to Evil Scientist Summer Camp! No annoying little brothers. No annoying zombie goldfish. Just me, my best friend, Sanj, our notebook of evil plans, and my truly evil (and totally forbidden) vampire kitten, Fang. We've got it all planned out. Okay, so maybe I didn't expect for the totally not-evil Geeky Girl to show up, or for Sanj to find a new partner to work with, but there's no way I'm going to let them ruin my summer. Evil emperor of the camp, here I come!

From NY Times and USA Today Bestselling author Josie Litton, writing as J.K. Litton, a wickedly funny cozy romantic mystery for the holidays"A quirky, funny, small town mystery that had me smiling and laughing--" Amazon reader "Loved this story, I could not put it down"--Amazon reader "Intrigue, humor and small town appeal"--Amazon reader "A captivating whodunit, a charming town with quirky characters and a second chance at love"--Amazon reader When Santa turns up dead in his sled during the holiday pageant in the charming Westchester County village of Mulberry Falls, former paralegal ...