Funny Urban

Isabella Proctor has a new super power... ...finding dead bodies. What did she ever do to deserve this? She’d like to trade this power in for something, anything else – talk to ants, mix the perfect mojito, anything other than finding her friends dead. After her neighbor is murdered, her not-so-ordinary life takes a sharp turn into the weird – magic amulets, secret societies, deadly feuds, and talking cats. Things go from bad to worse when another friend is murdered and she can’t go to Detective Palmer for help. Can she capture a witch so much older and stronger than she is or will ...

By now, Dr. Robert Urban should probably know better. After all, this is his tenth book—and six of them have been national bestsellers. (The other four? Let’s just say they are… “still top notch doorstops”) But in Lick the Spoon, Urban proves once again that nobody else can make you laugh, cringe, and nod in painful recognition quite like he can. His collection of stories and observations from his life aren’t just funny—they’re the kind of funny where you feel like you’re right there with him, muttering, “Oh no, Rob… you didn’t.” Except you’re secretly glad he ...

The school secretary has a sharp tongue but is she a killer? Can Marty do the math or will he get schooled by a criminal mastermind? Marty Golden is frazzled. Struggling to juggle nieces, a rambunctious dog, a demanding job, and a serious relationship, the software engineer is never quite sure whether he’s coming or going. But when his nemesis begs for help after she’s accused of offing the school principal, the amateur sleuth agrees to hunt down the real culprit. Confounded to discover the cantankerous woman stood to take the dead man’s position, he strives to find anyone who could ...

Jerry and Monique are your average working couple from the hood just trying to make a living. What happens when they wake up one morning to a shocking news flashed that sets off complete pandemonium that will not be forgotten for decades to come. The city infrastructure has collapsed leaving citizens with no law enforcement, fire fighters, or electric power for at least 24 hours. To make matter worse, it's devils night!

Harper Wilde knows a bad date when she sees one. She does not expect one to crawl out of a mirror. After one terrifying app match reveals that monsters are hiding behind charming profiles, Harper finds herself bound to a supernatural guidebook and drafted into a game-like system where red flags become warnings, bad chemistry becomes a threat level, and survival comes with experience points. Now the cursed dating app Monstr is matching people with dream dates who are anything but human. Love bombers, ghosters, charmers, and beautiful walking disasters are feeding on loneliness, insecurity, ...

The monsters delight when a prey falls into their lair until their den becomes the prison for the beasts. Trusting Daywalkers is dangerous. Double-crossing them is suicide. When death falls on her doorstep, agent Francesca Drake goes undercover inside the Daywalkers Academy. Desperate to prove herself she forgets the number one rule. Only the pure bloods are welcomed. Entering a world where she can never measure up, suddenly she’s surprised to find that she sets the standard. Sadly, for Francesca, not everyone agrees to this new trend. Each secret uncovers a path to betrayal, that shakes ...

Pandemonium: a twilight dimension of nightmare creatures, mythical beings, the undead, and everything in between. To Dead Jack, it’s hell sweet hell. In the first book of the series, the tortured, drug-addicted detective and his associate, the homunculus Oswald, face rogue leprechauns, ghost pirates, a sex-obsessed shark woman, sycophantic ghouls, an insecure fire demon, and a goateed maniac who calls himself the Duke of Pandemonium.

When two chefs wind up dead at a quaint bed-and-breakfast, it’s up to sleuthing witch Kyla to crack the case. But with trouble brewing in the kitchen and no shortage of suspects, will Kyla’s magical abilities be enough to outsmart a devious killer? This spellbinding paranormal cozy mystery series is one you won’t want to miss! Description from Book 1 (Magically Murdered) Kyla knows a lot about magic but nothing about working kitchen magic. When the police hire her to go undercover as Moonstruck Manor’s newest culinary mastermind and investigate the mysterious deaths of the manor’s...

One night with a superpowered babe. Alan Star thinks he's the luckiest guy in the world, but fantasy turns into nightmare when a late-night meetup with a heroine turns deadly. To the dismay of the powers-in-charge, Alan has stumbled upon the dirty truth behind the squeaky-clean image of the hero business. Soon, everyone from government black ops to angry superpowered flames want to shut him up. Permanently. With nowhere else to run, Alan escapes to the one place that the heroes won't go: the underground world of a fabled hero-killer. There, he discovers the key to becoming the greatest hero...

Faith delivers pizza for Crust Issues. Her best customer is the guy at 42 Moon Lane. He tips 100%, never turns on the porch light, and growls "Leave it" through the door. One night, during a blizzard, her car dies in his driveway. Nathaniel watches her from the window every night, fighting the urge to bust through the door and drag her into his den. She’s his mate, but he’s a scarred, exiled wolf who thinks he’s too dangerous for her. When he finds her freezing in her Honda Civic, the gentleman act is over. He carries her inside, kicks the door shut, and decides the pizza isn't the ...

Her fantasy is coming true – but can she trust it? Ever since Barb’s friend Vanessa got into a committed relationship with two men, she’s been fantasizing about what it would be like to have two people focused on her and giving her pleasure. But when she meets best friends Aaron and Carter at a nightclub, it seems too good to be true. These hot younger guys can’t possibly be interested in her, right? But they keep coming around, chipping away at her resistance until she starts to believe that maybe she’s finally found the two guys who can give her the happily ever after she’s ...

Inspiration has rules. Love does not. Emilia is the top student at Academia Faerium. She lives her life by logic, flawless formulas, and strict schedules. Her summer internship in the human realm should be simple: act as an invisible Muse and subtly inspire a mortal artist without getting caught. Enter Robert Lang. He’s the boy next door. He blasts loud music at 7 AM, uses his guitar case as a footstool, and his room is an absolute disaster zone. He is the physical embodiment of chaos, a rule-breaking teenager with a frustratingly cocky smile. And unfortunately for Emilia, he is her ...

A pet dragon, dangerous magic, and two hot guys...and that's just book 1! This boxed set contains all three novels in the Quarter Witch Chronicles series, including Dragons are a Girl's Best Friend, While the Dragon's Away, and A Good Dragon is Hard to Find. Description from Book 1: On the outside, Ruby’s a normal college student. On the inside? She’s something else completely. Magic runs through her veins, tempting her to use it, but Ruby isn’t sure how to control her new powers…until Ty, a dangerously handsome man from another world, spots her and identifies her as a witch. He ...

An alien cat turned me into a superweapon. I was homeless on the streets of Third York when it happened. Then the military arrived and gave me a choice. Enlist or die. The next thing I knew, I was fighting giant robots at the Xenoforce Academy's boot camp. Figuring out superpowers and energy levels was hard enough, but I had to deal with a mind-reading alien princess, a team of gorgeous women, and a femme fatale in charge of the whole operation. Oh, and a galactic conspiracy is threatening all of humanity. It's up to me and my new feline friend to set things right. A civil war's brewing on ...

Having the cutest neighbor is a real pain in the neck... Callie is immune to all forms of magic—including the mesmerizing gaze that lets vampires bend humans to their will. That's made her the target of an ancient evil determined to enslave her... or destroy her. Her only hope lies in her mysterious neighbor, Armant. His superhuman strength and piercing intuition captivate her as much as they frighten her. Yet, her bright spirit has ignited a spark within him that he thought had long been extinguished. And Armant has a score to settle with the master vampire that's targeting her. As ...

How do you take on the most powerful organization of the supernatural world? One death at a time. A thousand years in the making, the Council finally has created their strongest weapon. What they didn’t expect was for her to target them. Forged by the pits of the underworld, Brooklyn plays her part all too well until the assassination of her friend. It was meant to send Brooklyn a message. What it did instead was unleash an uncontrolled rage that threatens the Council’s very existence. Each target tips the moral compass and realigns who is friend and who is foe. Unified by necessity, ...

A man in the closet was only the beginning. When Tasha Carter’s husband comes home early, she has seconds to hide Javon King, the funeral director she has been sleeping with for months. But before Darnell can even drag Javon out of the closet, his own side woman shows up at the door with receipts, attitude, and enough secrets to turn one bad night into a full-blown disaster. One affair becomes a web of betrayals. One pregnancy could destroy half the church. One pastor is not nearly as holy as he sounds. And one dead man’s phone is about to expose a scandal bigger than cheating. Inside ...

Dr. June Miller is a genius chemist, not a wolf-tamer. But when a lab accident drenches her in "Compound X"—a synthetic pheromone mimicking a female wolf in peak heat—she becomes the most wanted snack in Chicago. She flees into the nearest bar, which happens to be The Den. Enter Colton. He owns the bar, runs the city, and has been celibate for a decade. One whiff of June, and his control snaps. He saves her from a bar brawl of drooling wolves, scoops her up, and locks her in his high-security penthouse for "protection." Trapped together while the chemical wears off, the line between ...

Three possessive mates. One magic-eating Dean. And a glitter bomb with his name on it. Northcrest University was supposed to be my sanctuary. A place where I could master my chaotic magic and enjoy the company of my Triad—the three powerful, dangerous men fate bound to my soul. Rhett, the stormy Alpha Wolf who looks at me like I’m his next meal. Kai, the Earth Elemental who grounds me when the world spins out of control. Lucien, the Vampire whose shadows promise a darkness I’m dying to taste. But the honeymoon phase is over. A new Dean has taken over Northcrest, and he isn’t just a ...

Discover the words, humor, slang, and street-level culture that make Valparaiso unforgettable Valparaiso Urban Dictionary is a witty, local, and highly readable guide to the phrases, nicknames, expressions, places, personalities, and everyday language that define life in Valparaiso. Whether you know it as Valpo, Valparaíso, the port city, a creative capital, or simply home, this book captures the character of the city through the language people actually use. Part dictionary, part cultural guide, and part love letter to local identity, this book is perfect for readers who enjoy regional ...