Children's Funny

Teach your child patience !!! "You forgot the mail?!?!" The king yelled at the snail. But the snail stayed as calm as could be. He was not afraid of the king, you see. He knew where the gift was; he knew what to do. The monsters learned that patience pays off too. We are all familiar with the phenomenon of children wanting everything "here and now". This story describes just such a situation. I hope you and your children will enjoy it and learn from it. The forest monsters woke up & there was a sign on the tree. They had been invited to the Monster King’s birthday party. Everyone would ...

New middle school? Scary. Falling into a world of dragons and dark magic? Terrifying. Twin siblings Kyle and Kenzie thought starting a new middle school was their biggest problem until a mysterious, golden dragon yanked them through a portal into a realm filled with mythical beasts, skeletal soldiers, and wand-wielding witches. Stranded in a dangerous world where magic rules and nothing is as it seems, the twins join forces with a tiny dragon who’s lost his magic, and an ex-assassin with a haunted past. Their mission? Stop a power-hungry necromancer, survive an army of undead, and somehow...

Elijah Muddle’s life changed in an instant. The son of a spiteful and mean manure farmer, Elijah now has become an apprentice to the town’s warlock, Caliban. The chance to escape his terrible father and learn magic? It’s a dream come true! Until...it turns out that Elijah’s internal magic is wonky, and he is the absolute worst warlock ever - all his spells go wildly wrong, causing both hilarious and disastrous consequences all over town.

Book 1: THE PARTY INVITATION! Middle school was supposed to be simple: survive classes, avoid humiliation, and maybe not trip over your own feet. But for eleven-year-old Avery, it’s more like a reality show called Surviving Middle School: Awkward Edition. With her besties Claire and Ellie dishing out constant warnings about her life choices, Avery is just trying to dodge gym class disasters, keep her locker shut, and avoid the cafeteria pizza (which might be alive). Then, the unthinkable happens—she gets invited to the birthday party. Not just any party, but Mackenzie Harper’s, the ...

“Before I can begin my tale, you need to know about the king's panties.” So begins the epic adventure of 14-year-old Nigel, digger of latrines, shoveler of poop, and the single greatest threat to all the humans, elves, and halflings of Esteria. Nigel needs to escape from military school. Who can blame him? After all, the king just declared war on the gorks, and he's pretty sure his latrine-digging skills aren't going to be much good on the front lines.

"Funny, furious, and profane." —The New York Times “Not your typical celebrity memoir.” —Jimmy Kimmel Unflinchingly honest and darkly funny, You with the Sad Eyes unveils a side of Christina Applegate we’ve never seen, forever cementing her formidable and iconoclastic legacy. Christina...

NATIONAL BESTSELLER A darkly comic and warm-hearted novel about an old man on a cross-country mission to reunite with his high school crush—bringing together his adult daughter, two orphaned kids, and a cat who can predict death—by the beloved author of Rabbit Cake and Unlikely Animals...

At last, we have nearly reached the end of our grim tale. When the Handsome Lawyer proposes (gross, love), Barnacle, Melancholy, and Garlic do not react well, sparking a cross-country adventure to bring the man Miss Emily loves back home. Unfortunately, everywhere the triplets go, trouble follows, and in this case, so do a bunch of wild characters, making it hard to stay under the radar. All the while Mr. Weirdie and the Enchantress are holding Miss Emily captive, forcing her to teach them how to be good people. Will anyone get the happy ending they deserve?

Did you know that most of our dinosaur fossils were discovered because two grown men absolutely hated each other? It’s true! Rivals! Frenemies Who Changed the World is a riotous audio exclusive, like if Monty Python taught your history class. Each volume of four 30-minute histories will dig into the petty name-calling and grumbling grudges that led to many of the world’s greatest advancements, all delivered with a cheeky sense of humor. Choose sides: Cope or Marsh, the jerks who discovered so many dinosaurs; Hamilton or Burr, whose rivalry fueled American politics; and many more....

Read by the authors. AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER — MORE THAN 250,000 COPIES SOLD! The engaging, uplifting antidote to traditional ADHD books (which, let's be honest, if you have ADHD you'd never read anyway). You live in a world that wasn't designed for you. A world where you're...

From author Jack Gantos comes a brand-new story in the award-winning Joey Pigza series, exclusively on Audible. Joey Pigza wants to be a winner - at everything! And yet, it seems he cannot win. But why?

Did you know that storytelling is one of the best parts of a child's bedtime routine? For a lot of parents, getting their child to fall asleep is such a chore. If you're one such parent, then you might be looking for ways to help your little one wind down and get into bed without a fuss. The fact is, all children need a solid bedtime routine to help them relax and fall asleep at night. With a bedtime routine, everything becomes easier. Does your child have such a routine? If not, then it's time to start building one. To help your child fall asleep, you can give them a warm glass of milk, do...

**** Enseñando a los Niños **** **** la importancia del sueño **** En la noche, cuando los niños estaban casi adormecidos, Miguel no era de los que lograban quedarse dormidos. Su madre le leía una historia y hasta dos le contaría, Su padre le cantaba hasta que su rostro azul se veía, Todo el día Miguel corría y la pelota había pateado, Pero luego solo podía decir: “Yo no me siento cansado.” 5.0 out of 5 stars Buen libro A mi hijo se lo leo unanybotra vez DORIS DUBON 5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars excellent Marianela Ortega Cahuas 5.0 out of 5 stars Lindo cuento Lindo y fácil ...

Jason tumbles into a quest to save a magical in this #1 New York Times bestselling start to Brandon Mull’s Beyonders fantasy series. Jason Walker has often wished his life could be a bit less predictable—until a routine day at the zoo ends with Jason suddenly transporting from the hippo tank...

Eloisa James returns to the Wildes of Lindow Castle series with the next Wilde child who runs and joins a theatre troupe -- and the duke who tries to save her reputation. He wants a prim and proper duchess, not the Wildest of the Wildes! Already notorious for the golden hair that proves her...

The Avery Diary: My Middle School Crush! A Hilarious Book for Kids 9-12! OMG, my life is a TOTAL rollercoaster right now. First, I thought I liked Jason—the most popular guy in school—so I spent a week trying (and failing) to be cool. Turns out, he likes Taylor, which is great because I might actually like Jake... you know, my old best friend? But how do I tell him without looking like a total dork? Between my little brother Carl’s nonstop pranks, my cat trying to destroy me, and my best friends teasing me, my middle school life is basically a rom-com gone WRONG. Read my diary... but ...

👦👧 A Heartwarming, Inspiring, and Funny Story for Kids Ages 4-8 📚 A Perfect Book for Curious Little Minds:Are you looking for a delightful children’s book that will entertain, inspire, and teach valuable life lessons? The Big Adventure of a Small Mouse is the perfect choice! This beautifully illustrated tale follows Max, a brave and adventurous mouse, on a thrilling journey filled with excitement, challenges, and heartwarming friendships. 🐭 What’s Inside:✨ A cute main character who inspires courage and curiosity ✨ Action-packed adventures with fun and surprising twists ...

“Eunice Wong's narration is clear, well paced, and emotionally balanced…This is a thoughtful, slow-burning novel with a narration that complements the complexity of the plot.” — AudioFile From the New York Times bestselling author of The Atlas Six comes the story of three siblings who...

Beelzebub, the prince of demons, is bored. It's his destiny to one day rule the dark underworld known as the Red Realm, but it's sooo boring down there. All he wants to do is lay around all day in the lava pits (ahhh), boss everyone around (rude!), and maybe play a cruel prank (or two). But Beelzebub's father has had it with his son's nasty attitude. No one backtalks the Red King. NO ONE. A disgraced Beelzebub is banished by his father and cursed to spend his days in the worst place either of them can imagine. EARTH.

The town of Franklin Falls is having its 100th birthday. And that means the town’s historic time capsule is about to be dug up and put on display by the proud citizens. Yeah, well, not if the crooked mayor has his way. Good thing all-around smart kid Leon Karakostas is one step ahead of him. Leon and his twin sister, Noel, and his crew - Pixie, Microscope, and Aardvark - find themselves in a mad dash to the dump, on a rooftop chase, and caught up in a showdown with a mysterious grandma.