Bedtime Comedy

Make sure the kids aren’t around! Just because you’re a grown-up doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the art of the children’s bedtime story. Nick Offerman presents this collection of 12 short stories written in the style of a classic kids' tale, but with a decidedly dark and adult approach. What really happened after Snow White died, from the perspective of the one medically trained dwarf? A naive wizard professor reports back from the trenches of an underprivileged school of magic. And much more!

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES DISCLAIMER: The long term effects of listening to this audio are unknown. Scientists have detected slightly higher rates of panic, fright and free-floating anxiety amongst listeners to this audio than that found in those listeners who engaged in more pleasant...

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES Warning: Your day will become very dark and possibly damp if you read this book. Plan to spend this spring in hiding. Lemony Snicket is back with the eleventh book in his New York Times bestselling A Series of Unfortunate Events. Lemony Snicket's saga about the...

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES Everybody loves a carnival! Who can fail to delight in the colourful people, the unworldly spectacle, the fabulous freaks? A carnival is a place for good family fun—as long as one has a family, that is. For the Baudelaire orphans, their time at the carnival turns...

NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES Dear Reader, You have undoubtedly picked up this book by mistake, so please put it down. Nobody in their right mind would read this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay in the...

A wild ride through time, love, and the magic of a fairy godmother—because who said fairy tales can’t be a little crazy? Riley Butler has it all—or so she thinks. When a near-fatal car crash forces her to wish for a second chance, she gets more than she bargained for. One minute she’s in the fast lane of modern life, and the next, she’s in 1845 Texas—wearing a chic business suit and sexy heels that are definitely out of place. To top it off, she’s greeted by wooden buildings, saddled horses, and a stranger who’s about to turn her world upside down. Enter Eve, the world’s ...

A Bloodier Night In Raven Pines! The monsters didn’t leave. They multiplied. Raven Pines is still bleeding from the first night. Now the town is crawling with things that shouldn’t exist. When a twisted couples’ retreat turns into ritual slaughter, the survivors realize the first massacre was only the beginning. The infection is spreading. The town is closing in. And this time, there’s nowhere left to run. Welcome back to Raven Pines. Bring booze. Bring bullets. Don’t expect to leave. If you like creature horror, cult chaos, relentless action, and pitch-black humor, the nightmare ...

Once upon a time, a girl named Little Red Riding Hood skipped through the forest with cookies for Granny… or so the story goes. But what if Red wasn’t just delivering baked goods? What if she was secretly hiding gadgets, gizmos, and a water blaster so powerful it could knock the fleas off a wolf at twenty paces? In this laugh-out-loud retelling, Red isn’t the innocent cookie courier we thought she was. She’s clever, bold, and ready to protect Granny from one very dramatic Wolf with a flair for disguises and a weakness for chocolate chips. Packed with humor, suspense, and a forest ...

Never trust a man who answers the front door wearing nothing more than a pair of low-cut jeans and a panty-melting smirk. That should've been my first sign. I write about guys just like him for a living - sexy and charming, yet reluctant to get into a serious relationship. His body screams sex appeal, but his condescending personality makes him a classic f--kboy. And I want nothing to do with that.

Comedian and actor Pete Holmes conjures up a tale where kids run the show in this hilarious interactive picture book. With a wisecracking dragon heckling from the sidelines, young readers will cast delightfully ridiculous spells that turn grown-ups into giggling, snoring, clucking bundles of...

A recently divorced, advertising executive and mother of two bravely tackles the treacherous landscape of modern day online dating, while embarking on a journey of profound self-discovery and transformation.

Nothing can harm them - or can it? There's a house on a hill at the very edge of the small town of Warren's End, a house that no one had any business in building up there. It's been said many times before now, but there's nothing quite like hindsight to bring everything into focus. Morris Stumper never was too good at taking advice, even when that advice could save a person a bushel load of heartache. Unfortunately, this hill was once the site of a cemetery with a ghastly history. Morris, anxious to pay as little money as possible for a home with a view, heedlessly sat his house on the ...

Penguin presents Meg and Mog Audio Collection by Helen Nicoll and Jan Pienkowski. Join Meg and Mog on their magical adventures with all their friends in this brand new collection of thirteen beloved stories. This new collection features narration from award winning actress Samantha Bond as well...

Time for Bed is a bedtime story for parents and adults. Ten desperate parents hire Wrinkles the Clown to scare their brats straight, then one-by-one, ten little brats all meet their supposed fate. This book makes a great gift for parents, but can be enjoyed by anyone who likes a good old fashioned creepy clown story, right before it's time to turn out the lights and go to sleep. Dad jokes, rhymes, and puns... this book has it all. Have friends that don't like clowns? This is the perfect gag gift for Halloween, Christmas, Hanukkah and birthdays! Let Wrinkles haunt your dreams tonight!

The Abbey Mice are preparing for Christmas. Collecting food to last them through the winter. Arranging their home high up in the tower of Ramsley Abbey. The spirit of Christmas is alive when they meet the poor Country Mice and bring them happiness and comfort. The Abbey Mice have lived for generations high up in the safety of Ramsley Abbey tower. From there they set out on their tales of friendships made, courage shown, adventures and excitement experienced. The Adventures of the Abbey Mice series were written over forty years ago now. Loosely based on the beautiful historic Romsey Abbey in...

Former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich continues to be a polarizing figure in America. But fear not! The coauthor of Contract with America is always good for another tale or two, regaling youngsters with “The Three Little Pigs and the Perils of Subsidized Housing,” “Cinderella and the Glass Ceiling,” and “Hillary the Snow Queen"—to name just a few.

WINNER! The English Association 4–11 Picture Book Award 2024 WINNER! Oxfordshire Book Awards Best Picture Book 2025 LONGLISTED! UKLA Book Awards 3-6 Category 2026 NOMINATED! Carnegie Medal for Illustration 2025 A Children's Book Club pick for Spooky Halloween Books – BBC Radio 4's Today...

The brilliantly funny follow-up to the award-winning Colin’s Castle! Colin and Duck are back! Colin and Duck are now friends. They’re happily sharing their castle – and they’re expecting a visitor … Grandma! Grandma’s brought lots of luggage – and her pet crocodile. Eek! Will she...

Fly Witness is the delightfully zany tale of a boy swept away to a world populated by some very peculiar, teeny, tiny creatures. "Come to the kitchen! Quick! Quick! Quick! It's a fly. It keeps buzzing, and it's making me sick!" Beckoned by his new bride, our hero is called upon to kill a meddlesome fly. But he cannot do it! And he has no idea why. The world renowned psychiatrist, Dr. Shrinknoggin, steps in to help.

If something is soporific, it makes you sleepy. That is the purpose of our stories; to help you forget your worries and outside thoughts, and then drift off to sleep with a feeling of peace. This is the third collection in the Soporific Stories For All Ages series. Included in this volume are 2 stories. The first is "Inventing A Game Before The Rain", and the second is "Shannon And The Snow Monkey".