The Tales of Pell

2 books in series
4 out of 5 stars 940 ratings

Kill the Farm Boy Publisher's Summary

In an irreverent new series in the tradition of Monty Python, the best-selling authors of the Iron Druid Chronicles and Star Wars: Phasma reinvent fantasy, fairy tales, and floridly written feast scenes.

"Ranks among the best of Christopher Moore and Terry Pratchett." (Chuck Wendig)

"When you put two authors of this high caliber together, expect fireworks. Or at least laughs. What a hoot!" (Terry Brooks)

Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born...and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there's the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy's untimely death...and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar "happily ever after" that ever once-upon-a-timed. 

Praise for Kill the Farm Boy:

"A rollicking fantasy adventure that upends numerous genre tropes in audacious style...a laugh-out-loud-funny fusion of Monty Python-esque humor and whimsy a la Terry Pratchett's Discworld." (Kirkus Reviews)

“Dawson and Hearne’s reimagining of a traditional fairy tale is reminiscent of William Goldman’s The Princess Bride and William Steig’s Shrek! Irreverent, funny, and full of entertaining wordplay, this will keep readers guessing until the end.” (Library Journal)

"Will have you laughing out loud until strangers begin to look at you oddly." (SyFy)

"A smart comedy...nuanced, complicated, and human." (Tordotcom)

"[Delilah Dawson and Kevin Hearne] make fun of the typical 'white male power fantasies,' and in that, they succeed, with their heroes all characters of color and/or falling somewhere under the LGBTQ umbrella." (Publishers Weekly)  

©2018 Kevin Hearne and Delilah S. Dawson (P)2018 Random House Audio
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  • Book 1

    • Kill the Farm Boy

    • The Tales of Pell Series, Book 1
    • By: Kevin Hearne, Delilah S. Dawson
    • Narrated by: Luke Daniels
    • Length: 12 hrs and 38 mins
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      4 out of 5 stars 940
    • Performance
      4.5 out of 5 stars 900
    • Story
      4 out of 5 stars 898

    A plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there's the Dark Lord, who wishes for the boy's untimely death...and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, and the Dread Necromancer Steve....

    • 1 out of 5 stars
    • A forgettable story with none of the iron Druid charm

    • By Adam on 07-23-18

    Regular price: $35.00

  • Book 2

    • No Country for Old Gnomes

    • The Tales of Pell, Book 2
    • By: Kevin Hearne, Delilah S. Dawson
    • Length: 8 hrs
    • Unabridged
    • Overall
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Performance
      0 out of 5 stars 0
    • Story
      0 out of 5 stars 0

    War is coming, and it’s gonna be Pell. On one side stand the gnomes: small, cheerful, possessing tidy cardigans and no taste for cruelty. On the other side sit the halflings, proudly astride their war alpacas, carrying bags of grenades and hungry for a fight - and pretty much anything else. It takes only one halfling bomb and Offi Numminen’s world is turned upside down - or downside up, really, since he lives in a hole in the ground. Suddenly, Offi is the leader of a band of lovable misfits and outcasts 

    Regular price: $28.00