The Social Contract

We all sign a contract letter when we enter the office, but most of the rules are never actually written down.

Explore the hidden unwritten rules of the office with Aparna, Lars, and Leilani Lewis. We break down the "psychological contracts" that demand your silence and performative loyalty. Learn how to reclaim your dignity and rebuild collective power at work.

IN THIS EPISODE Aparna and Lars are joined by arts leader and organization transformation practitioner Leilani Lewis to break down the implicit behaviors and unwritten rules that govern our lives as white-collar workers. We dig into the "psychological contracts" we navigate every day—from who takes the notes in meetings to why your boss might think taking a full lunch break is a sign of disloyalty. It’s a conversation about pulling ourselves out of individual survival mode and recognizing that silence isn't just a habit; it’s a corrosive social contract we have the power to change. We’re looking at what happens when we stop seeing our coworkers as competition and start building a collective sense of dignity instead.

THE QUESTION WE'RE SITTING WITH Is the unwritten "contract" you've made with your organization actually protecting you, or is it just demanding your silence?

TAKE THIS WITH YOU

• Audit the "Implicit": This week, identify one behavior you engage in at work solely because of an unwritten expectation— like note-taking —and notice the impact it has on your energy.
• Talk About the Norms: Get curious with a trusted colleague and ask them directly, "Do you see me as competition?" to start breaking the cycle of atomized performance.
• Prioritize Work Friendship: Make a conscious effort to be a friend to someone at work today; having even one close friend in the trenches is directly correlated to better long-term health and mental wellbeing.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• "A New Optimization Opportunity" - An email exchange between "Eric F" and "Brenda" widely circulated on Reddit regarding lunch break optics. - https://www.reddit.com/r/SipsTea/comments/1rgaa0w/are_we/
• Sam Altman & OpenAI - Discussion regarding the ethical standards and energy consumption of AI models. - https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2026/feb/23/sam-altman-openai-energy-use-datacenters
• Leilani Lewis - Award-winning arts leader, writer, and seasoned DEI practitioner. - https://www.leilanilewis.com/

CONNECT WITH US

Circle Back Club https://www.circleback.club/

Aparna on LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/aparnarae

Lars on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lars-gallien

Want to bring this conversation into your organization? Aparna and Lars speak at HR conferences, Fortune 1000 ERGs, and philanthropic foundations. [e-mail]

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