They say that divorce is an earthquake for the people leaving a marriage, but a chronic condition for the children who have to survive it…but in truth that’s only if at least one parent refuses to fix their mindset and prioritize the children. Sadly, for many healthy folks, their coparents can’t keep their side of the street clean. From mockery to outright mental and physical abuse, what they inflicted on you while married will likely be visited upon the children during their time with that parent as well, and that’s a painful surprise for many.

So what can a protective parent do? 

Well, for one, listen to this week’s podccast with Dr. Christine Cocchiola, whose specialty is Coercive Control (also the topic of her viral TED talk) in relationships, post-separation abuse, the weaponization of the family court system by abusive parents, and most importantly…the best strategies for protecting our kids. More people than ever are opting out now of abusive marriages, and awakening to the tactics being used to punish them and their children, often for years after the leave. Dr. Cocchiola knows all too well after 3 decades as a domestic violence counselor and a survivor of a 27 year toxic relationship & marriage as well, that there is hope. If you can get into the right mindset, and get clear on the coercive control as a consistent pattern in the abuser’s playbook…there is always always hope.

Divorce may be an earthquake….but high-conflict coparenting can feel like a marathon (without water through a jungle that is sometimes on fire), not a sprint. And few people are working as hard to refocus coparenting on the children, than Michelle Dempsey. Michelle Dempsey is a trauma-informed co-parenting expert helping to protect our kids in divorce, by centering their experience. She's also the founder of the Moving On Method and the author of Moving On. After a childhood where she experienced a very high conflict and drawn out divorce between her own parents, she grew up, got married, and realized she needed a divorce herself. Now happily remarried and co-parenting her own daughter while step-parenting her bonus daughter, Michelle has lots of hard-earned wisdom to share. On this week's podcast, we are talking about what it takes to set the right tone, how you can message positively about hard things without gaslighting your own children, why labels like narcissist don't often serve us, and how hard it is to get it right. Michelle has some ideas. And from where I sit, she's definitely one of those who is in fact getting it right.

What is at the root of the shift in giving? Beyond Melinda Gates and Mackenzie Scott, the numbers of women in philanthropy are soaring. And it might not be for the reasons you think.

Nancy Griffin has learned a few things about the ways of women's minds...when they set their minds to giving. Her company, Women Worth & Wellness (and the related seminar series) grew out of a career as a wealth advisor where she was led after a successful early stint at Proctor & Gamble, when women weren't exactly commonplace in the boardroom. She's developed an eye for how women navigate the connection between net worth and self worth, and the line between giving and impacting.