Remember the War on Women? Is that still a thing? Do women still go off to finishing school? What goes on there? Let’s say your name is still Debbie and you’re still developmentally optimistic, then you’ve probably missed the short squeeze altogether. And that’s good. Bring Your Wife to Work Day is only once a year, so honey, when opportunity knocks, don’t complain about the noise! Get after it. You can still Wang Chung when you need to. Even before the War on Women, you knew a Pop Tart from a Captain’s Wafer,. and that DWI doesn’t really means Doing What I Like. Wait, is that too many letters? Either way, you can’t conquer the world in bad shoes. It’s just not done! So no more standing behind the velvet ropes for you! Hell no. Debbie or not, you are done being a super spreader for anybody. Look, the Taliban didn’t have enough girls in management, and look what happened to them. Hell is real. And heat rises. That’s critical Otis Theory. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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Why is it that some still need to take their shoes off on an airplane ride? It’s just wrong. Still or sparkling, that’s gotta hurt. The guy next to you will never order another chicken fried steak again after seeing your airplane feet all fileted out in the walkway. It’s just too triggering! Looking at those hooves you walk around on, all laid out in the middle of the aisle like that, could give anybody bone loss. Nothing else can survive once you see airplane feet with the toenails shaped like Greenland. So stop it! And if you take ‘em out and start picking at everything you’ll need emergency nose and glasses just to sneak off the plane in one piece. But wait, there are exemptions to the no airplane feet rule. If your are scheduled to compete in the next Miss Vacant Lot pageant, you’re good. Otherwise, if you still have a need to show off your airplane feet in flight, don’t be too surprised if some hex nut puts a spell on you. It could happen. Otis explains. Hear Podcast ~ Wash Hands

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Your Uncle Otis is back with a real Southern apology for China, since they may not have one of those yet. And until you’ve had a good southern apology, honey you don’t know sorry. So here goes. China, here in the South, we kinda stole YOUR intellectual property too!! That’s right, we stole you blind on Chinese Checkers. Here’s the way it works: if you’re not smart enough to pay Chess, then you play Checkers. But if you’re not smart enough to play Checkers, you play Chinese Checkers. That’s just how it’s done. So even though Chinese robots are taking our JOBS, we still let the kids from the camp play Chinese Checkers all summer, cause nobody ever wins…just like in China!! Otis even gives China a free idea! Can you guess what it is? Hear podcast ~ Wash hands

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