The Man I’m Becoming vs. The Man I’m Missing

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Man, I've been avoiding this one for two months.

This episode is about my relationship with future me—the version of myself 10 years out that's been my compass, my mentor, my whole damn motivation. But also? My biggest drain. The thing that keeps me on autopilot, watching my life through a window instead of actually living it.

I get real about how I've been "Thuggin' it out" through everything—four kids, the chaos, the mental and emotional weight of it all—because I keep telling myself future me will have it figured out. Future me will be calm, peaceful, living instead of surviving. But what's the cost of constantly fast-forwarding through today to get to tomorrow?

I talk about shame as fuel, growing up in negativity, and how I realized I've been numb to my own struggles for years. This podcast has become therapy in real time, and honestly, I'm learning about myself as I'm saying this stuff out loud.

This isn't some motivational rah-rah about your future self. It's me being honest about what happens when you spend so long looking ahead that you forget to be present. If you've ever felt like you're just surviving day to day, waiting for some future version of your life to kick in—this one's for you.