We’re pulling back the curtain on military marriage and divorce, a world built on service and sacrifice but also one that silences and sidelines the spouses, most often women, who hold everything together while their partners serve. I’m thrilled to welcome Heather Sweeney to the podcast for this conversation, one I’ve been wanting to have for years. She’s a writer, former military spouse, and the author of the upcoming memoir Camouflage: How I Emerged from the Shadows of a Military Marriage.

Heather shares what it’s really like to build a life around someone else’s career, the toll of deployments, and the barriers military spouses face when seeking support. We also talk about losing your sense of self, navigating a system built on patriarchy that’s designed to keep spouses dependent and invisible, and finding the strength to step into life on your own terms after divorce.

Please know that this episode isn’t just for military spouses. It’s for anyone who has ever felt invisible in their own relationship or wondered what might happen if they stopped holding everything together.

✨ If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

What you’ll hear about in this episode:

• The unexpected ways military life might erode a spouse’s identity and independence (2:27)
• An inside look at reintegration after deployment and the obstacles couples face when learning to live together again (6:50)
• The systemic roadblocks military spouses deal with when seeking support or counseling (11:22)
• The weight military life adds to an already struggling marriage (34:29)
• How some military marriages can thrive when there is solid communication and support (45:07)

Learn more about Heather Sweeney: Heather Sweeney is the author of the memoir Camouflage: How I Emerged from the Shadows of a Military Marriage, which is about her journey from being overshadowed by her husband’s military career to rediscovering herself as a single mother approaching middle age. She writes essays about divorce, life as a military spouse, parenting, and women’s health, and her work has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, HuffPost, TODAY.com, Newsweek, Business Insider, Good Housekeeping, Healthline, and Military.com, among many others. She lives in Virginia with her boyfriend, two college-aged kids, and their geriatric Labrador retriever.

Resources & Links:
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch
The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!

Heather’s website
Heather’s book, Camouflage
Heather on Instagram
Heather’s Substack

Military OneSource

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-339-military-marriage-and-divorce-with-heather-sweeney/

We are diving into one of the most challenging and emotional parts of divorce, money. Money is not just numbers on a spreadsheet; it is safety, freedom, self-worth, and often a whole lot of shame. Today I’m joined by Shari Rash, a nationally recognized financial advisor and money mindset expert. She hosts Everyone’s Talkin’ Money, named a Top 4 money podcast by The New York Times with more than 24 million downloads, and is known for turning complex financial topics into real-life conversations that help women claim their worth and build lasting wealth.

Shari does not give cookie-cutter “skip the latte” advice. She brings real talk with no bro speak and no shaming, helping you unpack old money stories, release shame, and step into financial confidence. She reminds you that it is on you now, and that that’s a good thing. Take that power, understand what you have, and work with it. This conversation will help you build clarity and confidence to manage your money before, during, and after divorce.

✨ If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

What you’ll hear about in this episode:

• How to shift your money mindset and simplify finances so decisions feel less overwhelming (2:58)

• Deep seated money beliefs that keep you stuck and how to challenge them so you feel capable and in control (6:12)

• The first steps to releasing money shame and rebuilding confidence (13:17)

• The subtle ways money shapes your daily choices and self worth after divorce (22:27)

• Common money myths and the truths women need to hear in this stage of life (23:16)

Learn more about Shari Rash: Shari Rash is a nationally recognized financial advisor, money mindset expert, and the host of Everyone's Talkin' Money—named a Top 4 money podcast by The New York Times, with over 24 million downloads.

Shari breaks down complex financial topics into real-life conversations that empower women to own their worth and build lasting wealth. She’s been named a 2024 Best Wealth Manager and Advisor Under 40 by InvestmentNews.

Resources & Links:

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch

Everyone’s Talkin’ Money Podcast
Shari on Instagram
Shari on TikTok
Shari on Facebook
Shari on YouTube

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

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Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-338-divorce-money-and-self-worth-with-shari-rash/

If you’ve ever felt like you “just weren’t born a good communicator,” I want to stop you right there. Most of us are not born with these skills, instead we learn them, often the hard way. I know, because when someone asked me at my book launch, “Where did you learn to communicate?” I blanked and said I was “just born with it.” The truth? Communication is something I studied, practiced, and worked at for years.

In this solo episode, I walk you through the communication tools that changed everything for me. These skills didn’t save my marriage, but they did save my divorce. They made co-parenting possible (because he’d learned these skills too), built the foundation for healthier friendships and relationships, and became the backbone of the work I do with my clients.

This isn’t about becoming perfect or never messing up, it’s about learning how to really listen, how to be heard, and how to create connection instead of disconnection. And yes, it’s a practice.

In this episode, I share:

• How I learned communication skills the hard way

• Why Imago therapy can be a useful communication model, but not a solution for abuse

• The power of listening for feelings underneath words, not just the words themselves

• How feedback loops, timing, and permission are key to being heard

• Why I-statements, mirroring, and empathy create deeper connections in every kind of relationship

✨ If you’d like to watch the video version of this episode, you can find it here.

Resources & Links:

Don’t forget to grab the free worksheet to help you get started with active listening, I-statements, and more. Download the Communication Worksheet Mentioned in This Episode at: KateAnthony.com/communicate

The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast Episodes are also available YouTube!
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram
Kate on Facebook
Kate’s Substack Newsletter: Divorce Coaching Dispatch

===================

DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

===================

Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-337-solo-episode-how-i-learned-the-communication-skills-that-changed-my-life/