In this heartfelt episode of Know Them, Be Them, Raise Them, hosts Carmelita (Cat) Tiu and Irene Uy explore the emotional, cultural, and practical challenges of caring for aging parents while raising children—a reality many face in the “sandwich generation.” Cat opens up about her personal journey of navigating guilt, distance, and love, while Irene offers thoughtful reflections on honoring both our parents’ independence and our desire to protect them.

Episode Highlights

[00:00:00] Cat and Irene set the tone for this new season—showing up more vulnerably and sharing real-life experiences.

[00:01:00] Cat opens up about her parents’ aging—memory issues, emotional ups and downs, and how it impacts her whole family.

[00:03:00] The emotional weight of supporting elderly parents while managing a career and raising kids—the “sandwich generation.”

[00:05:00] A story from The Five Types of Wealth by Sahil Bloom sparks reflection on how little time we may have left with loved ones.

[00:08:00] Accepting that not every decision about family caregiving has a perfect answer—and learning to live with discomfort.

[00:09:30] Irene reframes the question: What does it mean to be a good enough daughter?

[00:11:00] Cultural influences on caring for parents—Cat reflects on her Filipino and Chinese heritage and how it shapes expectations.

[00:14:00] Balancing guilt, love, and logistics when parents live far away.

[00:18:00] When your parents resist moving closer—understanding their reasons and their autonomy.

[00:20:00] Respecting that our parents still have full, meaningful lives of their own.

[00:23:00] Planning ahead—Cat’s efforts with her siblings to stay connected and prepare for future care decisions.

[00:27:00] Finding peace in knowing your parents are still choosing joy in their current season of life.

[00:30:00] Encouraging practical steps: talking about wills, important documents, and sharing memories while you still can.

[00:32:00] Cat’s emotional reflection on wanting her daughters to truly know their grandparents.

[00:38:00] Acknowledging grief, love, and the feeling of lost opportunities—how emotion deepens our appreciation for family.

[00:40:00] Letting go of worry and control—learning to trust life’s timing.

[00:43:00] Choosing joy over anxiety and embracing presence over preparation.

[00:46:00] Redefining connection—quality over quantity in relationships with our parents.

[00:47:00] Closing reflections: Modeling healthy family relationships and holding gratitude for the time we have.

Help us grow the conversation:

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📝 Leave a review

📤 Share this episode with a parent or leader who’d appreciate a thoughtful take on modern role models

🌐 Resources & Mentions

 Five Types of Wealth: By. Sahil Bloom

https://amzn.to/47CBCgM

Sandwich Generation By: Leonel Guerrero

https://amzn.to/47xzAyB

🤝 Connect With Us

Follow us on Instagram: @thecoachisinpodcast

Learn more or get in touch: www.thecoachisinpodcast.com

🎧 The Coach Is In – Honest conversations, practical tools, and fresh perspectives for parent leaders. Because balance might be a myth—but intention is everything.

In this episode hosts Carmelita (Cat) Tiu and Irene Uy open up about the hard truths of friendships that end. From cultural differences and peer pressure to setting boundaries and recognizing when a relationship has run its course, they explore how to let go with integrity while staying true to yourself.

[00:00:00] Warm welcome & intention for the episode – Irene and Cat talk about showing up more authentically and personally.

[00:02:00] Irene’s wedding celebration in the Philippines sparks a reflection on adult friendships and how relationships evolve over time.

[00:03:00] Reconnecting with childhood friends and the unique purity of those bonds.

[00:05:00] Cultural differences in making friends—platonic friendships with men in the Philippines vs. assumptions in the U.S.

[00:09:00] Transactional relationships and learning when to step back, even with family.

[00:12:00] Trust, time, and deciding whether relationships are worth salvaging.

[00:14:00] Boundaries—what they mean, why they matter, and the discomfort of setting them for the first time.

[00:16:00] Respecting others’ boundaries with the same grace you’d want for yourself.

[00:17:00] Peer pressure—distinguishing between unhealthy pressure vs. loving nudges that help you grow.

[00:21:00] Recognizing who shows up for you in hard times, and who disappears when accountability is needed.

[00:23:00] Navigating lies, betrayals, and deciding when a friendship has reached its limit.

[00:27:00] The emotional weight of female friendships and learning not to carry others’ problems as your own.

[00:29:00] When “support” feels one-sided—friendships that resemble unpaid coaching sessions.

[00:33:00] Differentiating between those who are lost but trying vs. those who choose dishonesty or manipulation.

[00:36:00] Irene’s powerful reminder: you can be kind without being weak, and you can protect your integrity while still leading with compassion.

[00:38:00] Closing reflections—the most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself.

If this episode resonated with you, here are a few things to reflect on or try:

Reflect on your own friendships: Are they bringing you joy, growth, and peace—or are they draining and one-sided?

Practice setting boundaries, even if it feels messy at first.

Remember to prioritize the relationship you have with yourself above all else.

Help us grow the conversation:

👍 Follow the show

📝 Leave a review

📤 Share this episode with a parent or leader who’d appreciate a thoughtful take on modern role models

🤝 Connect With Us

Follow us on Instagram: @thecoachisinpodcast

Learn more or get in touch: www.thecoachisinpodcast.com

🎧 The Coach Is In – Honest conversations, practical tools, and fresh perspectives for parent leaders. Because balance might be a myth—but intention is everything.

In this thoughtful episode of The Coach Is In, Irene and Cat explore how we form our ideas of role models—what shapes them, how they evolve, and why it’s essential to remain mindful of who and what we admire. Through personal stories, parenting insights, and cultural commentary, they examine how values, struggle, and visibility intersect to influence both adults and the next generation.

⏱️ Content Highlights & Timestamps

00:00 – Welcome & Why This Conversation Matters

– Irene and Cat reconnect and frame the discussion around the importance of role models in leadership and parenting.

03:12 – Unintentional Role Models: Who Shapes Us Before We Know It

– Irene shares stories from her upbringing in a rural town and how books and biographies shaped her worldview.

– Notable mention: Sirin Phathanothai as a formative influence.

08:45 – The Power of Biographies & Exposure

– Cat reflects on how reading about ballerinas influenced her discipline and appreciation for hard work.

– Discussion on how interests shape identity, even when they differ.

12:30 – Struggle vs. Joy in Identity Formation

– Irene reflects on how Southeast Asian narratives often center on struggle and the shift toward valuing joy and lightness.

– Cat opens up about questioning if her lack of dramatic hardship invalidates her story.

18:01 – Money & Morals: A Complex Relationship

– Irene discusses Warren Buffett and how reading The Snowball helped her see that wealth and values don’t have to be at odds.

– Cat shares concerns about media narratives that portray wealth as inherently corrupting.

24:50 – Visibility Bias: Why Do We See Certain Leaders?

– A discussion on Musk, Trump, and how attention is given to controversial figures.

– The absence of quieter, values-driven leaders in the spotlight.

29:35 – Power, Integrity & Role Models in Parenting

– Cat highlights the importance of helping kids think critically about public figures.

– Strategies for media literacy and value alignment.

34:30 – Speaking Out vs. Staying Silent: What’s the Right Move?

– Irene challenges the idea that silence always equals complicity.

– Nuanced take on how and when to speak out, especially around power and vulnerability.

41:10 – Admiration Without Pedestals: Holding Leaders Accountable

– A powerful distinction between the person and the position they hold.

– Leaders can be flawed humans—and still be worth learning from, so long as we stay critical and connected.

📌 Calls to Action & Takeaways

If this episode resonated with you, here are a few things to reflect on or try:

Think about your current role models. Do they align with your values?

Talk to your kids about the media they consume—who they admire and why.

Share a biography that shaped you with someone younger (or ask them to share one with you).

When admiring a public figure, ask: "Do I admire their values—or just their visibility?"

Practice media literacy at home: Question what’s shown and what’s not.

Help us grow the conversation:

👍 Follow the show

📝 Leave a review

📤 Share this episode with a parent or leader who’d appreciate a thoughtful take on modern role models

🌐 Resources & Mentions

The Dragon's Pearl: https://amzn.to/3G6SPEp

The Snowball: Warren Buffet https://amzn.to/4nrNzMy

Rethinking Narcissism: https://amzn.to/4loaMgq

Perry Mason: https://amzn.to/4ljSFch

🤝 Connect With Us

Follow us on Instagram: @thecoachisinpodcast

Learn more or get in touch: www.thecoachisinpodcast.com

🎧 The Coach Is In – Honest...