Adam Nisenson and Dr. Rob continue their conversation about betrayed men. They share the worst advice a betrayed man can hear, how to determine if reconciliation is the right next step, and the reality that being cheated on does not justify cheating. Adam shares resources, including The ManKind Project, that have helped him through his own healing and how to engage men who have no interest in therapy.

TAKEAWAYS:

[1:44] Reconciling is possible, but not always preferred.

[3:40] Therapy for the men who have no interest in therapy.

[7:20] 12-Step programs for betrayed men.

[9:55] She cheated, should I have sex with someone else?

[11:45] The worst advice a betrayed man can hear.

[14:51] Determining if reconciliation is the right next step.

[17:36] My needs aren’t being met. Does that justify cheating?

[19:39] The ManKind Project.

[24:02] Does age affect a man’s ability to heal from betrayal?

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Adam Nisenson

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “She might have done this to you, but it’s also happening to you. What do you want to do about it?”
• “If you need help, ask for help!”
• “Even if your partner cheated on you, that doesn’t give you permission to cheat.”

Adam Nisenson, also known as The Betrayal Shrink, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist & Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. Together with Dr. Rob he highlights the need for betrayed men to have support and healing just as much as women do. He shares his own healing journey, the support that he offers men who have been betrayed, and why he believes that his own betrayal experience was actually worth it.

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:25] The depth of Adam’s betrayal as a man.

[6:20] Adam recalls his feelings on D-Day.

[8:52] The importance of having a safe, supportive place to grieve.

[9:50] Rediscovering self-worth when reconciling or separating.

[13:53] Projecting unhealthy anger on others gives them the power.

[17:55] Navigating betrayal from a child’s perspective.

[20:02] Adam’s decision to support other betrayed men.

[22:45] Key differences between betrayed men and women.

[26:44] Is it just sex? Or is it love?

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Adam Nisenson

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “Having a safe, healthy place to grieve and be seen was a game-changer for me.”
• “Projecting unhealthy anger on others gives them the power.”
• “I wanted to make therapy cool for men.”
• “Emotional betrayal is just as painful as physical betrayal, and they both destroy trust.”
• “It was through my pain that I discovered who I really was.”

Erin Snow is the Clinical Director at Seeking Integrity, CSAT, and a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. She and Dr. Rob discuss a week-by-week overview of residential treatment, the key points of trauma work and treatment, and the hope that she regularly sees as addicts encounter consequences, confront early trauma, and what it really takes to heal individuals and their loved ones from addiction.

TAKEAWAYS:

[2:08] Erin’s journey toward Seeking Integrity.

[4:50] The healing at Seeking Integrity focuses on much more than sex addiction.

[7:41] Key points of trauma work and treatment.

[12:15] Why is my partner connecting to their therapist but not me?

[13:43] A week-by-week overview of residential treatment.

[20:29] Attachment and connection are not what a spouse is thinking about.

[26:28] Why isn’t our relationship enough to make him change?

[31:00] What is it like for Erin being a woman working with addict men?

RESOURCES:

Sex and Relationship Healing

@RobWeissMSW

Sex Addiction 101

Seeking Integrity

Free Sexual Addiction Screening Assessment

Partner Sexuality Survey

Erin Snow

Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions.

QUOTES:

• “I can see an opportunity for my clients to find meaning in living again.”
• “In trauma work, you can lose yourself in the why and never move to the place of how to move on from this.”
• “Healing happens the way it's supposed to as long as you’re doing the next right thing.”