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"I haven't had to make a new friend in 15 years. Where do I even start?"

If your social circle vanished when your marriage ended, you are not alone. Many married men compartmentalize their friendships or rely on their wives to act as the "social director". When the divorce happens, that social calendar goes completely blank—and the silence can be deafening.

Today, we are changing how we look at loneliness. We aren't just talking about how much it hurts; we are treating it as a highly fixable skill deficit.

My guest is Dr. Ronald Riggio, a social personality psychologist and expert in interpersonal relationships and nonverbal communication. We break down the stark difference between solitude (being alone) and loneliness (the psychological pain of feeling disconnected). Dr. Riggio explains the terrifying physical toll of chronic loneliness—likening it to smoking 15 cigarettes a day—and gives us the exact blueprint for rebuilding our social lives from scratch.

If you are tired of spending your weekends alone but feel too "rusty" to put yourself out there, this episode is your roadmap to building a new, resilient social circle.

In this episode, we cover:

• The Loneliness Epidemic: Why the psychological pain of isolation is as dangerous to your health as smoking.
• Solitude vs. Loneliness: How introverts use solitude to recharge, and how to stop letting alone-time turn into painful isolation.
• Male vs. Female Friendships: Why men tend to have fewer, more compartmentalized friendships, and why we need to build deeper emotional connections with our buddies.
• Curing "Social Atrophy": What to do when your dating and socializing skills have completely atrophied during your marriage.
• Practical Reps: Why joining Toastmasters, taking an improv class, or practicing the "art of small talk" are the fastest ways to build your social courage.
• Stop Sending "Stay Away" Signals: How to adjust your nonverbal cues—like eye contact and posture—so you don't accidentally push people away.

Guest Bio:Dr. Ronald Riggio is a social personality psychologist, researcher, and recognized expert in leadership and interpersonal skills. He is the author of the Social Skills Inventory, a tool designed to map out interpersonal strengths and limitations.

Resources:

• Social Skills Inventory: mindgarden.com (Search: Social Skills Inventory)

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In this episode I continue talking about my IFS journey and map out my parts. In addition I provide you with a diagnostic to help you do the same, particularly if you are stuck and cant get over your ex.

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You are still going to work. You are still paying the bills. You are still showing up for your kids. When people ask how you are handling the divorce, you say, "I'm just tired".

But behind closed doors, you are exhausted, numb, and running on fumes.

Today, we are talking about the depression that clinicians rarely discuss: High-Functioning Depression. My guest is Dr. Stacy, a clinical psychologist with extensive experience in the VA healthcare system specializing in trauma and PTSD. We discuss the critical difference between "classic" depression—which often looks like a total inability to function—and high-functioning depression, where a man might look successful and put-together on the outside but is falling apart on the inside.

We break down how men hide behind the role of "The Provider" or "The Helper" using extreme competence as a shield against feeling their grief. If your depression looks more like irritability, compulsive busyness, and an absolute fear of sitting in silence, this episode is going to change how you view your mental health.

In this episode, we cover:

• The "I'm Fine" Trap: Why high-functioning depression is so easy to miss, and how the people around you might take your "strength" at face value.
• Symptoms in Disguise: Why depression often manifests as being reactive and snapping at people, or filling your schedule with compulsive busyness so you don't have to face the quiet.
• The First Step Out: Why you don't need a massive five-step plan to fix yourself; you just need to say one honest sentence to one person.
• The 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: A practical, immediate tool using your five senses to stop the internal spiral and bring yourself back to the present moment.
• Functioning vs. Healing: Dr. Stacy's powerful reminder that just because you are handling your responsibilities doesn't mean you are actually processing your grief.

Guest Bio:Dr. Stacy recently completed her postdoctoral training in clinical psychology, focusing heavily on PTSD, trauma, and serious mental illness within the VA healthcare system. She is also the author of Hope and Healing for Survivors, available through New Harbinger and Amazon, and a regular contributor to Psychology Today.

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https://www.risingphoenixpodcast.com