Can you believe it? There’s so many frikkin rats in this sweet little German town of Hamelin and there’s some fool dressed in pied that says he can get rid of them all with his silly little pipe and, get this, they’re gonna pay him a thousand German dollars and or francs! Well not on our watch! We’ll do it for the sweet reward of 50 Australian Dollars and the love of the game. Zammit finds out what rats hate and immediately thinks of spaghetti, JD thinks way too highly of structural engineering in the 15th century and Jackson forgets just how flammable a tiny town with thatched roofs is. So come with us to the town of Hamelin as we try and puzzle this one out and then deal with that sneaky mayor who won’t pay us a dime.

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Sure NASA had those big dollars to give Stanley Kubrick to fake the moon landing, but what if they instead has a crisp five dollar note to instead hire America’s favourite boys, us idiots? From confiscating TVs to filming at Bondi with Moon Babes to just straight up hijacking Sputnik footage and claiming it as our own! No stone is left unturned in finding the perfect solution to faking the moon landing. There are no nos on the path to greatness, only great ideas that may or may not start a nuclear winter. All we know is that we (and by we I mean the USA greatest nation of them all) need to beat those Ruskies in the space race by any means necessary or the American people will be so sad! The worst American is a sad American, so you better pray these boys can find an answer to this problem quick smart.

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It’s a tale as old as time! Man, he lack fire and cannot cook ham, but thankfully man’s daddy, Prometheus, he give us fire to cook our delicious ham! However his cousin (our uncle??) Zeus hate when man make ham! So punished Prometheus by chaining him to a rock, and made his delicious god liver everlasting. And then punished an eagle to eat that liver every day! And then there’s that other tale that’s as old as time! Some king, he rude and violated the sacred tradition of being a good host and then cheat death twice. This is no good to the gods so now he must roll a big boulder up a hill only to watch it roll back down and then has to do it all again. For eternity! Now as the pearly white gates of hell open before us and the little goblin man that greets us all asks if we want to opt in for the Sisyphus special or the Prometheus platter, we here at Plumbing the Death Star are given the Herculean task of trying to figure out which one is better. Either way, one must imagine Sisyphus, and by extension Prometheus, happy. It’s the only way to get through it.

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