For our Summer of Stories, I got the pleasure of interviewing a dear friend Rachel Faulkner Brown about her incredibly hard and beautiful life. In the first half of this episode, we talk about her journey with losing two husbands and walking that grief journey twice. She shares so much wisdom for other widows as well as practical tips for all of us enduring life’s toughest pain.

In the second half of our chat, Rachel bravely shares about their family’s most recent struggle - an eating disorder that quickly took a grip on her daughter. She provides invaluable insight and practical advice from the deeply painful journey they have walked.

My favorite part of the interview is when she shares honestly about the shame we can feel as mothers. As she watched her daughter walk through the hardest season of her life - she was also faced with a choice to hold onto that control or release her to God. We all have these moments in parenting and we can learn so much from Rachel’s incredible faith journey.

I’m so thrilled for you to get to know Rachel. She is a dear friend and a woman that has experienced God’s goodness throughout some of the deepest pain in her life. You will be inspired by her calling to pass on the love of God and hope to others’ in their darkest days.

In this episode, we chat about:

• How to practically move forward when you lose your spouse
• How to wrestle with God when horribly hard things happen
• How to lean into God when life is upside down
• How to love our kids when it’s hard and you must release control
• How to parent a child with an eating disorder

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Background

10:46

The Importance of Honesty and Community

30:28

The Need for Aggressive Treatment

39:07

The Healing Journey and Future Hope

48:17

Prayer and Encouragement for Mothers

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Never Alone Widows

Father's House Bible Study

There is More podcast

Podcast with Rachel’s daughter about her eating disorder - Part 1

Podcast with Rachel’s daughter about her eating disorder - Part 1

Reverend Joanne Moody

St. Teresa of Avila Quote

Healing prayer - resource 1

Healing prayer - resource 2

Welcome to week 1 of our Summer of Stories series! For the next 10 weeks, you will hear one powerful story after another. We are featuring 10 stories of incredible moms that have endured significant challenges. Through these stories, we pray you will remember that God is faithful and always with you through life’s most challenging moments.

Today’s guest is my dear friend, Joy Phenix, who bravely shares her journey of losing her amazing son. Her story of loss and indescribable grief is so very hard to hear but oddly peaceful and sacred.

My favorite part is when she encourages us to be a student of others’ grief journey. Every single person grieves at different times and in different ways. We cannot judge our friends or family members on that journey. This takes patience and grace and understanding.

This episode is for anyone walking in grief - not just the loss of a child. All of us have seasons of tragedy and unthinkable hard times. We want to know how to trust God again and how to move forward in the midst of the pain. Joy will touch your heart in a profound way. I am deeply thankful for her willingness to share her story to help others.

In this episode we chat about:

• How to endure the indescribable journey of losing a child
• How we can help and support friends in their grief
• How to remember each person grieves differently and at unique times
• How to normalize talking about grief through the process

00:00

Introduction and Catching Up

09:16

The Power of Community in Times of Loss

15:30

Finding Hope and Healing Through Faith

28:25

Cherishing Memories and Finding Healing

34:38

Vulnerability and Trust in Difficult Times

Enjoy!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Josh’s Celebration Service

Joy’s Instagram

Body Keeps The Score

Comedian Michael Jr went from living in his car to one of the most influential and talented comedians in the country. In fact, he used to open the show for Jerry Seinfeld and went on to headline his own shows. He is now sharing the stage with his wife, Ebony, as they focus on strengthening marriages across the country.

This engaging couple shares many great pieces of wisdom and insight during our episode, but I really enjoyed how they speak about conflict. It’s so easy to avoid conflict at all costs. They encourage us to utilize conflict for the greatness of marriage

My favorite part (or least favorite) was when Michael Jr. asked me to share honestly about a recent disagreement I had with Ron. He went through the list of the fruit of the Spirit to see how I was handling a specific situation. And I bombed his test. It was embarrassing, but really challenged me on how I handle conflict. I love their hearts for marriage. They have a passion to remind couples that marriage is GOOD and it does work.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How easy it is to drift in marriage when kids are in the home
• How to keep your marriage a priority and intentionally connect
• How to utilize conflict instead of avoiding it

Chapters

00:00

Introduction and Family Background

04:04

Letting Go and Trusting God with Our Children

08:54

Faith as a Consistent and Visible Part of Family Life

23:53

Merging Talents to Help Couples Find Joy in Marriage

29:19

Revealing Areas of Freedom Through Conflict

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Funny How Marriage Works

Assessment for your conflict resolution

Emotions Wheel

Funny How Marriage Works Tour

Happy almost Summer!! I am delighted to share the story of Sarah Harmeyer and her love for gathering neighbors. You will be so fascinated by her story of creating a table and setting out to have people over. Over time, she hosted thousands of people just one night at a time. She absolutely inspired me to get back out there and invite folks to my home.

You will be inspired and motivated and so very touched how God used Sarah’s life to start a movement called “Neighbor’s Table.” He took a nudge in her heart and kept expanding it across the country.

My favorite part was at the end when we talked about her current living situation with her aging father. She is so tender and so gracious with his walk with Alzheimers. I pray that I handle my own parents with such care and compassion one day.

In this episode we chat about:

• How a simple dinner party created a movement
• Why your neighbors need community
• What an invitation can do for an individual
• How we can preach less and simply love more
• How to care for aging parents with compassion

Chapters00:00

Introduction and Catching Up

10:01

Stories of Love and Connection Around the Table

22:59

Building Relationships with New Neighbors and Introducing Sarah's Dad

27:02

Caring for Aging Parents with Love and Compassion

30:53

Closing Remarks and Action Items

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Sarah’s Instagram

Neighbor’s Table

Invite Sarah to Speak

Table Talk Questions - source Close To My Heart

Kindness Diaries with Leon

Leon Logothetis

God’s Holy Spirit in Me kid’s devotional

“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” —Matthew 28:19–20

We’ve spent this school year praying for our kids to be marked by the things of God. We’ve prayed that they live with integrity, confidence, generosity, endurance, and much more. But these are nothing more than admirable qualities if they aren’t used for God’s kingdom purposes.

Before Jesus ascended to heaven, he gave us our mission. He told us to go and make disciples, sharing the story of his grace and love.

The Great Commission is our central mission. The same is true for our kids.

We’re God’s Plan A for spreading the gospel. There’s no backup plan, there’s no contingency, and there’s nobody else to tag in for our spot.

But it all starts at home. It happens in the seemingly insignificant moments of reading Bible stories to our toddlers and the really hard places of pointing them to Jesus on the heels of their biggest mistakes and greatest obstacles.

Please let us never underestimate the significance of our jobs as moms and dads, discipling our kids to share the gospel to the next generation.

Let’s wrap up this school year by praying that our kids will be marked by the mission of Jesus, doing it with truth, discipline, purity, and every other characteristic of God we’ve prayed over them this year.

Lord, thank you for the gift of my children and the privilege of praying over them this school year. Please mark their lives with a determination to fulfill the mission you created for them before they were ever born. Give [name] the wisdom to pursue you every day and a spirit of urgency in following your plans for their life.

God’s word speaks: 1 Peter 2:9; Mark 16:15; 1 Peter 3:15; Ecclesiastes 12:13–14

When our children hurt (emotionally or physically), we simply hurt. One of the hardest jobs as a parent is to discern when to step in and when to let them live through hard seasons. I am so thrilled to introduce you to my very own therapist, Dr. Cassie Reid.

Cassie has counseled me and my own children through many seasons. It’s taken me years to find a good fit and I am beyond thankful for her wisdom and direction for our family. It is not always clear if our kids are just being kids - or if they are really struggling internally.

Listen in as Cassie and I chat about the challenges that come our way as parents. She shares many practical recommendations for us parents.

My favorite part is when she talks about the expectations we have for our kids. She challenges us to look inward and really work on ourselves and our own healing journey. She shares how our unrealistic expectations can start to produce extra pressure and anxiety and how to look out for that scenario in our homes.

In this episode we chat about:

• When to see a therapist or counselor
• Why counseling is so important for families
• Two pieces of advice for parents that she wishes we all knew

Chapters:

00:00

Introduction and Personal Connection

01:36

Dr. Cassie Reed's Background and Passion

08:35

Recognizing the Need for Professional Help

10:06

Finding Affordable Therapy Options

12:55

The Impact of Parental Anxiety on Children

14:36

Setting Boundaries and Recognizing Age-Appropriate Behavior

22:26

Setting Boundaries and Creating Space for Children

23:49

Managing Expectations and Apologizing to Children

26:19

The Impact of Technology on Children's Mental Health

27:10

Navigating Issues of Gender and Sexual Preferences as Christian Parents

29:04

Dr. Cassie Reid's Work in Spiritual Abuse Prevention and Healing

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

CassieReid.com

Cassie’s Instagram

Church Rehab by Dr. Cassie Reid

Come Home

God’s Holy Spirit in Me kid’s devotional

My Daddy’s Hero

“Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying, ‘Thus far the Lord has helped us.’” —1 Samuel 7:12

The Israelites were in desperate need of a victory against the Philistines. Just as they were convincing themselves it was a lost cause, Samuel cried out to God and received an answer in the form of deafening thunder that scared away the enemy and secured an Israelite victory.

Orthodox battle move? No. God protecting his people? Absolutely.

No sooner than they finished their victory lap, Samuel stopped everyone in their tracks to make a critical point. He grabbed a stone as a memorial and named it Ebenezer, translated as “the Lord has helped us to this point.”

Samuel knew their battle win was significant from a tactical perspective, but he also knew the more significant win was the reminder that God had protected them in the past and he’d just done it again.

Our kids need the same reminder today that Samuel gave way back then: The God who has taken care of us up to this point will do it again. He is faithful and trustworthy.

What are the Ebenezers in your family? Where do you need to start laying down stones as reminders to your family that God’s faithfulness in the past shows he’s trustworthy for the future?

Lord, remind us to always pass down the stories of your faithfulness. Mark [name] with a good memory of your provision, giving them confidence to trust your heart when they can’t see your hand. Help us to celebrate the places where you’ve given us victory, making a lasting memorial of your faithfulness for generations to come.

God’s word speaks: Deuteronomy 7:9; 2 Thessalonians 3:3; Lamentations 3:22–23; Psalm 86:15

If you are a parent, you know the feeling of just “making it through” each day. So often, we want more for our lives. However, we feel stuck and are not sure how to do that when there are children depending on us every day.

My guest this week, Farrell Mason, shares about a time when she felt that her life was running her ragged. She decided to do something about how she lived her one precious life. She took action to create a more soulful life in the midst of raising six kids. Farrell Mason is a minister, a mom, a wife and a beautiful writer. She has a passion for standing with others in the midst of their hardest moments in life.

My favorite part is towards the end when Farrell offers very practical suggestions on how to love others well. She is so passionate about caring for yourself as a mom, but also leaning into simple ways we can care for our neighbors. You won’t feel guilt or more pressure to perform - you will feel seen and inspired to lean into more for your life.

In this episode we chat about:

• How to live this one life well
• How to push against busy and impossibly full schedules
• How to pay attention to what your soul craves
• How to help your hurting friends

Enjoy!

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess

Courtney DeFeo

Resources from today’s show:

Farrell’s Site - Bread and Honey

Farrell’s new book: Soulfull

Come Home

Chapters:

00:00

Introduction and Connection

09:50

Living a Full Life and the Importance of Time

16:22

Commitment to Intentional Living

32:21

Finding Hope in Difficult Times