Before his autism diagnosis, Susan Senator didn’t know why her first born son Nat didn’t act like the babies in her parenting books. “I mean, he was beautiful,” she tells Tim. “But… he did everything differently than what I expected.” Susan put in intentional work to better understand Nat and her two younger sons, Max and Ben, getting to know her kids' distinct personalities through how they played: one son wanted to line the toys up in a perfect row, another wanted characters from different universes to team up. “I was constantly learning,” Susan says.

Susan decided to write about parenting and autism, in part so other parents could understand their kids better as the early 90s, when Nat was first diagnosed, was what Susan calls “the autism stone age,” a time when understanding and acceptance of autism was rare. Since then, she’s written op-eds, essays, and three books, all with a central message: “You're not gonna deny that it's hard, but you have to know that this is great, right here as it is,” Susan says. "That's why I write. I want them to see Nat as he is– this full person.”

Susan’s journey towards understanding her children holistically hasn’t stopped since they’ve all grown up and moved out of the house. Being a mom of three creative sons means supporting them through many goals, whether that’s in graphic design, playing music in a band, or competing in Special Olympics. For Susan, it’s all been worth it. “I think a [great mom] sees her kids… really sees them for who they are,” she tells Tim. “You let whatever they are come at you and the sooner you get it, the better.”

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Susan Senator is a journalist, a public speaker, and the author of the book, “Autism Adulthood: Strategies and Insights for a Fulfilling Life.” You can learn more about her work on her website, susansenator.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After his second divorce, John Gottman decided to treat finding love like a research project. To collect enough data he went on 60 different dates that were all disasters, until one day at a Seattle coffee shop, when Julie Schwartz walked past his table. It was love at first sight.

The Gottmans have been married for 38 years and have spent decades as collaborators studying the psychology of love and relationships. In 1996, they co-founded the Gottman Institute, where they’ve interviewed thousands of couples and developed an evidence-based training program for therapists.

Given their decades of professional and personal success, you may be surprised to learn this about their relationship: “We're totally opposite people,” John tells Tim. While Julie is outdoorsy and adventurous, John is happiest relaxing indoors. But according to Julie, “We found a way to mesh our incompatibilities in one activity, which happens to be outside– kayaking.” It’s the perfect compromise since it’s outdoors, but also comfortably seated. Julie thinks the idea that happy couples are compatible from the beginning is a myth, and John says that as couples learn about each other and find compromises that make them both happy, “Couples create this compatibility.”

The Gottmans have given many interviews over their decades of work, but this conversation with Tim is distinct because they really get into the philosophies behind their work, the intentionality, the romance, and even the spirituality that allows them to be such pioneers in their field.

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Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman and Dr. John Gottman are clinical psychologists, researchers, and co-authors of the book “Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection.” You can learn more about their work on the Gottman Institute website, gottman.com.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When Grant Snyder started his career in law enforcement, he quickly realized that a huge part of the job was witnessing the worst day of someone’s life, whether they were a victim or a perpetrator. “I really had to try and imagine what it was that I had to offer people, and more often than not, it was… how do I protect somebody's dignity?,” he tells Tim, “I felt like I had a role in that beyond just handcuffs.”

Grant’s carried this with him as he worked with victims of human trafficking and sexual violence, and when he became the Minneapolis Police Department’s first liaison dedicated to homeless and vulnerable populations – a role he helped create.

Much of his time on the job was focused on relationship building, talking to people, and helping out where he could. “On a hot day, you're bringing around cases of water and making sure people are hydrating,” he said. “That's a totally different role than most police officers get a chance to do. But that's public service. That's public safety.”

Grant retired from police work in 2023 and now works full-time at Involve MN, a charity he founded with his wife, Melanie Snyder. Together, the non-profit serves three healthy meals every day, 365 days a year, in their dining room and in shelters and encampments across Minneapolis and St. Paul.

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Grant Snyder is a retired commander with Minneapolis Police Department and he's the co-founder of Involve MN, a Minnesota non-profit serving free meals across the Minneapolis/St. Paul area. Learn more about their work at InvolveMN.org.

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Our theme music was written by Andy Ogden and produced by Tim Lauer, Andy Ogden and Julian Raymond. All other music that you hear in this episode is courtesy of Epidemic Sound.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.