My Two Elaines: A Former Governor’s Deeply Moving Alzheimer's Journey

In this heart-opening conversation, Laura speaks with Marty Schreiber, former Governor of Wisconsin and author of My Two Elaines: Learning, Coping, and Surviving as an Alzheimer's Caregiver. Marty shares his deeply personal journey of caring for his beloved wife Elaine through Alzheimer's, and how it reshaped his understanding of love, loss, and connection.

With humility, humor, and profound insight, Marty offers encouragement and practical wisdom for family caregivers navigating the emotional complexities of dementia care. This conversation is a powerful reminder that even in profound loss, deep moments of love and meaning are possible.

👤 Meet Marty Schreiber:

Marty Schreiber served as Governor of Wisconsin and spent over 18 years as a public servant before facing his most challenging role yet: caregiver for his wife Elaine, who lived with Alzheimer's disease. Through his experience, Marty became a fierce advocate for caregivers, sharing his hard-won lessons to help others survive—and even find hope—through the caregiving journey. His book, My Two Elaines, has become a beacon of support for countless families around the world.

📌 Topics Discussed:

• Marty's personal caregiving journey with his wife Elaine
• Why caregiving requires letting go—and embracing who your loved one is now
• The emotional toll of caregiving and the importance of self-care
• How unacknowledged grief impacts caregivers
• Living in the present moment with your loved one
• Therapeutic fibbing: preserving dignity and connection
• Why caregivers must ask for help (and why it’s an act of courage)
• Finding meaning, hope, and love even through loss

⏱️ Timestamps (Approximate):

00:00 – Welcome and introduction of Marty Schreiber

02:20 – How Marty's caregiving journey began

06:45 – Learning to "let go" and love Elaine as she is now

11:30 – Emotional challenges: grief, guilt, and frustration

18:10 – The power of living in the present moment

23:50 – Therapeutic fibbing: creating moments of peace

30:15 – Marty's reflections on self-care and asking for help

37:40 – Support groups, community, and connection

43:00 – How caregiving changes our understanding of love

48:50 – Final thoughts: What Marty wishes every caregiver knew

💡 Key Takeaways:

• Caregiving requires profound emotional shifts—and immense courage.
• Living in the present allows deeper connection, even when memory fades.
• Self-care is not selfish—it’s essential for both caregiver and loved one.
• Therapeutic fibbing can preserve dignity and create calm.
• Asking for help is an act of strength, not weakness.
• Even amid great loss, moments of love, joy, and meaning can still bloom.

📚 Resources Mentioned:

• My Two Elaines by Marty Schreiber

🤝 Connect with Marty Schreiber:

Website: mytwoelaines.com

🌿 Connect with Laura Vaillancourt & the Life on Repeat Podcast:

Website: https://lifeonrepeatpodcast.com

Instagram: @lifeonrepeatpodcast

Facebook: Life on Repeat Podcast

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