在小宇宙重新分享《发光发热》播客近两个月，我投入了很多时间与心力，上传了十四集节目，却几乎没有听众，也没有任何反馈。

就在我决定继续坚持下去，也刚刚开始迎来一些新听众的时候，我收到了第一条负面评论。

那一刻，我问了自己一个问题：

我是要停下来怀疑自己，还是继续往前走？

这一集播客，我分享这段经历带给我的五个重要领悟。

第一，负面反馈不一定是打击，也可能是一份成长的礼物。我带着平静与感谢回应了这份提醒，也感谢对方后来给出了更具体的建议。真正的成长，往往来自愿意听见不同声音，也愿意继续前行。

第二，当无人问津的时候，我重新回到最初的初心。我做这个播客，并不是为了流量、数据或订阅，而是希望在家庭最挣扎的时刻，给父母带去一点温暖和光亮。当父母重新找到力量，孩子也更有机会健康成长。

第三，没有今天的不完美，就没有明天的进步。如果总要等到准备充分、表达完美才开始，也许很多梦想永远不会开始。真实的人，都是在行动中学习，在表达中修正，在持续中成长。

第四，恐惧与创造力常常同行。这是伊丽莎白·吉尔伯特在《Big Magic》里分享的智慧。当我们试图消灭恐惧时，也可能同时压抑了创造力。很多时候，害怕并不代表不能开始。

第五，我们可以邀请恐惧同行，但绝不让它掌舵。恐惧可以坐在后排安静陪伴，你甚至可以感谢它想保护你。但人生的方向盘，必须握在自己手里。

我也真心推荐《Big Magic》这本书。如果你正在创作的边缘犹豫不决，它也许会给你很多勇气。

如果你也正在犹豫要不要开始一件事，或者怀疑自己是否已经够好才配出发，也许可以轻轻问自己一句：

我在等的，到底是什么？

愿你带着恐惧，带着不完美，迈出第一步。
愿我们在一步一步的行动中，成为梦想中的自己。

For nearly two months, I have invested a great deal of time and energy into re-sharing my podcast Shining and Radiating on the Xiaoyuzhou platform. I uploaded fourteen episodes, yet there were almost no listeners and no feedback at all.

Just when I decided to keep going, and had finally begun to welcome a few new listeners, I received my very first comment.

In that moment, I asked myself an important question:

Do I stop and doubt myself, or do I keep moving forward?

In this episode, I share five reflections that grew from this experience.

First, critical feedback is not always a defeat. Sometimes it can be a gift for growth. I responded with calmness and gratitude, and I appreciated that more specific suggestions followed. Growth often begins when we are willing to hear different voices while still continuing our path.

Second, when no one seems to notice, I return to my original intention. I did not create this podcast for numbers, subscribers, or popularity. I created it to bring a little warmth and light to parents during some of family life’s hardest moments. When parents regain strength, children are more able to flourish.

Third, without today’s imperfect steps, there is no tomorrow’s progress. If we wait until we are fully ready or perfect before we begin, many dreams may never begin at all. Real people grow through action, correction, and continued practice.

Fourth, fear and creativity often travel together. This is one of the key insights Elizabeth Gilbert shares in Big Magic. When we try to eliminate fear completely, we may also silence our creativity. Feeling afraid does not mean we cannot begin.

Fifth, we can invite fear along for the ride, but never let it drive. Fear may sit quietly in the back seat. You may even thank it for trying to protect you. But the steering wheel of your life must remain in your hands.

I sincerely recommend Big Magic. If you are standing at the edge of creating something meaningful, this book may offer you courage.

If you are hesitating to begin something, or doubting whether you are “good enough” to start, perhaps gently ask yourself:

What exactly am I waiting for?

May you take your first step with fear, with imperfection, and with courage.
May we all become the version of ourselves we dream of being, one step at a time.

欢迎报名参加2026年家庭系统排列工作坊：
📩 往期学员反馈，工作坊信息和报名链接：https://hipsy.nl/meeei

一位为了家庭放下事业的女性，移民海外后越来越迷茫、不快乐。
她找到我，希望我带她找到未来的路。

在陪伴她成长的过程中，我们一起耕耘了三个花园：
自己人生的花园、家庭与亲密关系的花园、原生家庭的花园。

这一集，我分享五个重要的领悟：

1. 感恩书写，让她重新看见生命中的光
原本只想写五分钟，却发现自己拥有远超想象的美好。
那一刻，久违的能量从心里升起。

2. 伴侣的“烦躁”背后，藏着一个未被说出口的需要
当丈夫因孩子生日派对而烦躁时，她没有评判，而是好奇地问：
“你的烦躁是从哪来的？”
答案让她意外——他需要自己的私人空间被尊重。

3. 放下评判，让她重新爱上了和伴侣聊天
她发现，原来自己从前有太多评判。
带着好奇心去了解他，竟成了一件无比快乐的事。

4. 三个花园，决定我们的人生是否绽放
第一个花园：自己的人生（事业、健康、社交）
第二个花园：家庭与亲密关系（伴侣、孩子、彼此支持）
第三个花园：原生家庭（治愈能治愈的，放下能放下的，整合能整合的）
只耕耘第一个花园，再多的果实也无人分享，风雨来时，也无人遮挡。

5. 有弹性的连接，不是捆绑
捆绑像一根绳子，让你窒息。
有弹性的连接像一根橡皮筋——你可以走得很远，但你知道，家的爱与祝福一直都在。

如果你此刻感到迷茫，也许不是你不努力。
也许是时候去看看：你的三个花园里，是不是有些地方被忽略了？

愿你，从捆绑走向连接，从迷茫走向力量。
愿我们，一起耕耘自己的花园，活出生机勃勃的自己。

A woman who gave up her career for her family found herself increasingly lost and unhappy after moving abroad.
She came to me, hoping I could help her find her path forward.

In the process of supporting her growth, we began to cultivate three gardens together:
the garden of her own life, the garden of family and intimate relationships, and the garden of her family of origin.

In this episode, I share five key insights:

1. Gratitude journaling helped her rediscover the light in her life
She initially planned to write for just five minutes, but soon realized how much beauty she already had.
In that moment, a long-lost sense of energy began to rise from within.

2. Behind a partner’s “irritation” is often an unspoken need
When her husband became frustrated during their child’s birthday party, she chose curiosity instead of judgment and asked:
“Where is your irritation coming from?”
The answer surprised her—he needed his personal space to be respected.

3. Letting go of judgment helped her rediscover joy in connecting with her partner
She realized how much judgment she had carried before.
Approaching him with curiosity turned their conversations into something genuinely enjoyable again.

4. The three gardens shape whether our life can truly flourish
The first garden: your own life (career, health, social life)
The second garden: family and intimate relationships (partner, children, mutual support)
The third garden: your family of origin (heal what can be healed, let go of what can be let go, integrate what can be integrated)

If we only cultivate the first garden, even abundant harvests can feel empty—there is no one to share them with, and no shelter when storms come.

5. Healthy connection is elastic, not entangling
Entanglement is like a rope—it suffocates and holds you back.
Elastic connection is like a rubber band—you can go far, even across the world, and still know that the love and support of your family are there.

If you are feeling lost right now, it may not be because you are not trying hard enough.
It may be time to gently look at your three gardens—have some parts been neglected?

May you move from entanglement to connection,
from confusion to strength.
May we all cultivate our gardens, and grow into a life that is alive and flourishing. 🌿

欢迎报名参加2026年家庭系统排列工作坊：
📩 往期学员反馈，工作坊信息和报名链接：https://hipsy.nl/meeei

三月，我回到中国陪伴父母。
在爱与连接中，我也再次走进原生家庭的洪流——焦虑、比较、指责与纠缠，让空间变得沉重。

当身体仍在康复、能量有限时，我更深地感受到一种拉扯：
一边想靠近，一边被消耗。

在这样的体验中，我开始问自己：
在这一切之中，我如何站稳自己？

这一集，我分享四个重要的领悟：

1. 家庭是一条洪流，每个人都有自己的漩涡
方向不同，节奏不同，拉扯因此产生。

2. 在所有漩涡之下，有一条更深的连接——爱
我们不需要改变彼此，而是学会不被卷入。

3. 选择自己的未来，是一种更深的爱
当我们站稳自己，才有力量去陪伴。

4. 梦想中的人生：平凡 · 平静 · 平和
不被外在绑架，回到内在安定，以温柔与接纳面对一切。

如果你也在家庭中感到拉扯与疲惫，
或许可以轻轻问自己：

“我如何在这一切之中，回到自己的位置？”

愿你，在洪流中站稳自己。
愿我们，一起活出梦想中的自己。

In March, I returned to China to spend time with my parents.
Alongside love and connection, I also stepped back into the familiar flow of my family system—where anxiety, comparison, and tension quietly shape the atmosphere.

With my body still recovering and energy limited, I felt a deep inner pull:
a longing to be close, and at the same time, a sense of being drained.

This led me to a simple but essential question:
How can I stay grounded within all of this?

In this episode, I share four key reflections:

1. A family is a flow, and each person has their own vortex
Different directions and rhythms create tension.

2. Beneath it all, there is a deeper connection—love
We don’t need to change each other, but learn not to be pulled in.

3. Choosing your own future is an act of love
When we stand steady, we can truly be present for others.

4. The dream life: ordinary · calm · peaceful
Living simply, returning to inner stillness, and meeting life with softness and acceptance.

If you feel pulled or exhausted within your family system,
you may gently ask yourself:

“How can I return to my own ground?”

May you stand steady within the flow.
May we all live as the dream version of ourselves.

🌿 Join the Family Constellations Workshop:
https://hipsy.nl/meeei