Lies, Mental Health, And BDSM

Oh, you’re curious about or into BDSM?

• You have a mental disorder
• You must be unhappy
• You had a traumatic childhood

You’re dominant? All that means is you cannot take no for an answer. Oh, I’m sorry, you’re actually submissive? Well, that is just kink slang for someone who cannot make decisions.

There are so many myths and misconceptions when it comes to mental health and BDSM, D/S, and kink. These often hurtful fallacies do more than just sting in the moment; they can causesomeone to not embrace a core part of who they are. Plus, they are so common that it is easy to come to believe there must be truths attached to them.

This episode dissects the myths using peer-reviewed research, and I promise it is not a boring psych lecture.

Find out what the research actually tells us!

Please note: While this covers some of the common misconceptions about mental health and BDSM, this is by no means a complete list. The research reflects patterns across populations, not a universal experience. Individual journeys vary, and that is worth acknowledging.

Sources:

Wismeijer, A.A. and Van Assen, M.A. "PsychologicalCharacteristics of BDSM Practitioners." Journal of Sexual Medicine (2013) 10:1943

Lecuona, O., Martínez-Barajas, O., Gimeno-Martín, A., et al."Not Twisted, Just Kinky: Replication and Structural Invariance of Attachment, Personality, and Well-Being Among BDSM Practitioners." Journal of Sexual Medicine (2025) 72(6):1079-1108

Sagarin, B.J., Cutler, B., Cutler, N., et al. "HormonalChanges and Couple Bonding in Consensual Sadomasochistic Activity." Archives of Sexual Behavior (2009) 38:186-200

Brown, A., Barker, E.D., Rahman, Q. "A SystematicScoping Review of the Prevalence, Etiological, Psychological, and Interpersonal Factors Associated with BDSM." Journal of Sex Research (2020) 57(6):781-811

Holvoet, L., Huys, W., Coppens, V., Seeuws, J., Goethals,K., and Morrens, M. "Fifty Shades of Belgian Gray: The Prevalence of BDSM-Related Fantasies and Activities in the General Population." Journal of Sexual Medicine (2017) 14:1152-1159

Pliskin, A.E. "Social and Emotional Intelligence (SEI)in BDSM." Journal of Positive Sexuality (2018) 4(2):48-55

Jansen, K.L., Fried, A.L., and Chamberlain, J. "An Examination of Empathy and Interpersonal Dominance in BDSM Practitioners."Journal of Sexual Medicine (2021) 18(3):549-555