I’m Terrified I’m Screwing Everything Up — Every Single Day

I get these waves.

Waves of fear. Of doubt. At least once or twice a day.

Why am I doing this?

Why am I so public about something I don’t even understand myself?

I don’t want to mess up anyone’s life.

What if someone hears this and does something terrible because they misunderstood me?

What if I’m screwing it all up?

I feel like a buffoon most of the time.

A giant mess, walking around pretending to know.

Sometimes I think I might be the hero in my own life.

But mostly… I don’t.

I’m 46. And I still feel like the insecure kid on that dirt road — Ryczko Road — where nothing made sense.

None of this goes away.

The more I do this, the more doubt I have.

The more faith I need — and I’m not even a faith-kind-of-person.

But I’ve learned: you’ll never really know.

And that fear never disappears.

You just learn to live with it.

Take care.