What if the thing holding you back isn’t what you’ve been through… but what you’ve had to hide?

In this solo episode, I explore the physiology of shame—how the parts of ourselves we keep hidden don’t just stay tucked away, but actually shape how we move through the world.

From the outside, it might look like you’re doing fine. But internally, there can be a quiet contraction: a subtle bracing in your body, a holding back in your voice, a hesitation to take up space or go after what you want.

In this episode, I share why nearly all of us carry some version of a “shame story”—whether it’s about something we’ve done, something we haven’t done, who we are, or where we come from—and how that hidden tension can ripple into our work, relationships, and sense of self.

I also talk about the double bind many of us find ourselves in: feeling like we either have to hide these parts of ourselves… or reveal everything in order to be free.

But what if healing doesn’t require you to share your most vulnerable stories with the whole world?

What I’ve seen again and again—in my own life and in my work with clients—is that transformation often begins much more quietly: in a moment of being truly met.

In this episode, we explore:

• What shame actually does in the body (and why it feels like contraction)

• How hiding parts of yourself impacts confidence, self-expression, and decision-making

• The subtle ways shame shows up in high-functioning, high-achieving people

• The “double bind” of shame: hiding vs. overexposing

• Why you don’t need to tell everyone your story to heal

• What begins to shift when you feel safe enough to be seen, even by one person

I also share real examples of the kinds of transformations I’ve witnessed when clients begin to soften their relationship with shame—from stepping into leadership roles, to leaving toxic environments, to creating meaningful work and relationships from a more grounded, self-trusting place.

If you’ve ever felt like there’s a part of you that isn’t fully shareable… this episode is for you.

A gentle invitation:

As you listen, notice if there’s something in your life you’ve quietly decided isn’t safe to share.

You don’t have to reveal it to the world.

But what might it be like to let it be seen—just a little—in a space that feels safe enough?

If this episode resonated, you’re always welcome to reach out.

You can email me at anna@annaholtzman.com and simply say, “this resonated.”

That alone can be a first step.

https://linktr.ee/annaholtzman

https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/

What happens when the thing you most want to share is also the thing that terrifies you most?

In this episode, Anna sits down with poet and author Mer Monson to talk about Mer’s debut poetry collection, For the Wounded, and the deeply human journey that brought it into the world. Together, they explore writing as a place of refuge, the connection between depression and expression, the fear of being seen, and the slow, tender process of creating from a place of truth rather than performance.

Mer shares how journaling became a lifeline early in life, how writing came alive for her during a cancer diagnosis, and how a season of grief, loss, and spiritual unraveling led to the poems in this collection. Anna and Mer also reflect on the coaching process they shared together, and on what it means to move toward visibility with self-compassion, support, and nervous-system safety.

This conversation is for anyone standing at the threshold between hiding and expression, especially if your desire to create feels inseparable from your fear.

In this episode, we explore:

• How Mer’s path through cancer, grief, and spiritual change led her more deeply into writing

• Why poetry asks to be experienced slowly, from “the neck down”

• The fear that can arise around sharing honest creative work

• How fear can disguise itself so well that you don’t even know what you really want

• The role of coaching, publishing support, and self-compassion in helping creative work come into form

• The connection between chronic pain, stress, visibility, and self-expression

• What it looks like to move at the pace your body actually needs

• Why expression can be part of aliveness, healing, and becoming more fully human

About Mer:

Mer Monson fell in love with writing during a cancer adventure in 2015, and has studied Method Writing since 2019. She is the author of For the Wounded, Reality Bathed in Hope and a featured author in Stories from the Muses. Her essays and poems have been published in Shark Reef, Adanna, Method Writers Speak, Exponent II, and Say More.

Her past adventures include time as a K–12 school counselor, adult educational counselor, Advanced BodyTalk practitioner, and Master Transformational Coach. She loves every flavor of flying and lives with her husband and three sons in the Rocky Mountains of Cedar Hills, Utah.

Find Mer here:

• Website: www.mermonson.com

• For the Wounded: available via Mer’s website, Amazon, and Barnes & Noble

• Substack: Mer Monson on Substack

Connect with Anna

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/anna_holtzman/

• Website: https://www.annaholtzman.com/

• Free workshop — Let Yourself Be Seen: https://www.annaholtzman.com/beseen

What happens when the pressure to perform pulls you out of connection with yourself?

In this solo episode, Anna explores the subtle but powerful difference between performance and connection — and how getting stuck in performance mode can cut us off from our creativity, intuition, and leadership.

Drawing from her former career as a reality television editor, Anna shares a vivid behind-the-scenes story of what it was like to work creatively under intense pressure while being watched and judged in real time. Over the course of ten years in that environment, she discovered how easily the nervous system can spiral into self-conscious performance anxiety — and how that state disconnects us from the very flow we need in order to do our best work.

But she also discovered a surprisingly simple pathway back.

In this episode, Anna shares the strategy that repeatedly helped her return from performance mode into presence and creative flow: empathy.

Through storytelling and a short guided reflection, you’ll explore:

• The difference between performance mode and connection

• How self-consciousness disrupts creativity and intuition

• What performance anxiety feels like in the body

• Why empathy can regulate the nervous system and restore creative flow

• A simple exercise to reconnect with yourself when you feel stuck in self-judgment or being observed

Whether you're a leader, creative, entrepreneur, or someone who often feels “on display” in your work or life, this episode offers a compassionate way to come back to yourself.

Because your best work doesn’t come from performing.

It comes from being present and connected.

Try This Reflection

During the episode, Anna invites you to reflect on a moment when you felt pulled into performance mode — when you became overly aware of how you were being perceived.

Notice what happens when you bring empathy toward that version of yourself.

What changes in your breath, your muscles, and your energy when you shift from self-criticism to care?

Free Workshop: Let Yourself Be Seen

If this episode resonated with you and you want to explore what it means to move out of performance and into authentic expression, Anna’s free workshop Let Yourself Be Seen is a great next step.

In this workshop, you’ll explore the internal blocks that keep you hiding, performing, or second-guessing yourself — and begin practicing ways to show up with more clarity, creativity, and self-trust.

You can sign up or download the workshop here:

www.annaholtzman.com/beseen

Stay Connected

Anna loves hearing how these reflections land for listeners.

If you try the exercise from this episode or have thoughts you’d like to share, you can email:

anna@annaholtzman.com