“When the house is quiet, the feelings are loud.” If you’re facing Christmas (or any holiday) without your kids, this episode is your survival guide.

Andrea Rappaport and Morgan Stogsdill talk about one of the most painful parts of divorce: the first (or early) holidays when your children are with the other parent. The anxiety can start days in advance, and the empty-house silence can feel unbearable — but Morgan reminds listeners that this is usually a moment in time, not a sign that you made the wrong decision about divorce.

You’ll hear real, practical tools for getting through the day hour-by-hour (doggy paddling counts), what not to do when you’re spiraling, and why “effective support” matters. You’ll also get tips for keeping conversations with your kids positive, avoiding emotional landmines, and making a plan that helps you survive the holiday — without shame, stalking your ex, or numbing yourself into oblivion.

1. Why holidays without your kids after divorce can feel like a crisis moment
2. How to tell the difference between grief and a “divorce decision”
3. Why “two truths can coexist” (you can be doing the right thing and it can hurt)
4. The best coping strategies for surviving Christmas without your children
5. What not to do: social media spirals, isolating, stalking your ex, emotional decisions
6. Why moving your body helps your mind calm down (“an exhausted body is a calm mind”)
7. How to use community support (even anonymously) when you feel alone
8. How to talk to your kids without making them feel responsible for your emotions
9. Co-parenting communication tools (and why OurFamilyWizard helps when rules aren’t followed)
10. Morgan’s “Chad” story: how making a plan helped a parent survive the first Christmas alone
11. Why leaving the house is the #1 non-negotiable tool (even a drive-through counts)

Andrea says it best: no amount of self-care candles fixes the fact that your kids aren’t here. Missing your children doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re hurting.

Morgan sees clients question everything during the holidays — but she rarely sees people truly halt divorce because of it. These feelings are real, but they’re usually temporary.

You don’t have to “thrive” today. You just have to get through it. Hour-by-hour is allowed.

Here’s your breakdown, straight from Morgan + Andrea:

1. Walk outside if you can
2. If it’s cold: use a short YouTube workout video
3. If you hate workouts: get in your car and go somewhere...

If you're overwhelmed, exhausted, pretending you’re fine, or Googling “How to pretend I'm not miserable in my marriage and ruin Christmas?” this conversation is exactly what you need.

December hits differently when your marriage feels heavy. In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan and Andrea break down why the holidays can push you into emotional overdrive and why that does not automatically mean you need to file for divorce today. From understanding the difference between a crisis moment vs. a clarity moment, to learning the now-iconic Pantry Party Plan, this episode gives you practical strategies to stay grounded, calm, and emotionally safe during one of the most triggering months of the year.

Andrea and Morgan open the episode with a message so many listeners need to hear:

You’re going to be okay.

Holiday stress isn’t proof that your marriage suddenly collapsed — it’s proof that December is a pressure cooker.

Friends. Traditions. Money. Kids. Expectations. Fake joy.

Your nervous system is maxed out, and that’s normal.

A crisis moment feels like:

1. wanting to flee your house
2. hiding in the pantry
3. crying out of nowhere
4. fantasizing about driving away and not coming back
5. panic bubbling in your chest

These moments do NOT require divorce decisions.

A clarity moment feels like:

1. “Yep… this marriage still doesn’t feel right.”
2. annoyance, sadness, or distance
3. noticing repeating patterns
4. calm recognition of misalignment

Clarity = information

Crisis = not the time to act

This distinction alone saves listeners from major mistakes.

December will give you a moment where you need to step away — mentally or physically.

Andrea introduces the Pantry Party Plan, a simple, strategic grounding tool to stop panic from running the show.

Step 1: Set a timer.

1. 3 minutes → small wobble
2. 5–7 minutes → medium crisis
3. 10 minutes → major meltdown prevention

Step 2: Exhale first.

Panic makes it nearly impossible to breathe in.

So start by pushing out all your air, then allow the inhale.

Step 3: Add your mantra.

Pick something that makes you laugh, relax, or feel powerful.

Andrea’s?

“Bitches ain’t shit.”

Find one that works for YOU.

Morgan breaks down the legal + emotional side:

1. holiday traditions when you're unhappy
2. forced family time
3. pretending everything is...

This episode is especially helpful if you’re searching for:

1. How to prepare for divorce without filing
2. Emotional separation before divorce
3. How to survive the holidays before divorce
4. What is a silent divorce?
5. How to tell your spouse you want a divorce (but not yet)
6. Divorce timing strategy
7. How to protect kids during separation

If you’re quietly planning your next chapter, this one is for you.

In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport dive deep into the concept of the silent divorce: the unofficial, emotional separation that happens when one or both partners know the marriage is ending, but they're not ready to officially file yet.

If you're feeling emotionally checked out, unsure of timing, scared of disrupting the holidays, or stuck in a “limbo marriage,” this episode helps you understand what a silent divorce is, the signs you're in one, and most importantly : what to DO about it.

Andrea and Morgan break down two scenarios:

1️⃣ When both spouses know divorce is coming but are waiting.

2️⃣ When only one spouse knows, and the other has no idea.

You’ll hear practical guidance, emotional support, and legal strategy to help you prepare without panicking, protect your kids, and avoid major divorce mistakes.

Plus, you’ll hear hysterical QuickBooks chaos, psychic readings on Oak Street, and a glamorous side quest to the Waldorf Astoria. Classic HNTSAD energy.

How emotional withdrawal and parallel living become the early stage of divorce long before filing papers.

– Minimal communication

– Loss of intimacy

– Roommate vibes

– Emotional loneliness

– Avoidance of conflict

– No partnership energy

Do this:

1. 
   
2. 
   
3. Keep things predictable
4. 
   
5. 
   
6. 
   
7. Set temporary boundaries (separate bedrooms, shared spaces, routines)
8. 
   
9. 
   
10. 
    
11. Treat this time as preparation, not limbo
12.