Hosts Odette Mould and Sophia Giblin explore ways families can remember their late loved ones in this final episode.

The first year after losing a loved one is particularly difficult. Events and special dates like birthdays, wedding anniversaries, Mother’s and Father’s Day, and Christmas are often somber and emotionally charged affairs. Many families struggle when thinking about doing something to celebrate their late loved one’s memory. 

The following years aren’t guaranteed to be any easier, Odette reminds listeners. Don’t expect to have it all together completely by the seventh or eighth year - you might think you’re managing and then all of a sudden you might struggle again around that time. Always remember to be mindful of yourself and those around you, she adds.

Many families tend to switch up their tradition around occasions like Christmas, sometimes going away on vacation instead of staying home. It’s really about doing what works best for your family, whether that’s breaking tradition or dedicating some time to remember who you lost.

Key Takeaways

• The first year after losing a loved one is particularly difficult when it comes to anniversaries and occasions.
• Don’t assume others aren’t struggling just because it’s not the first year after loss.
• Do what works best for your family.

Resources

• Harry’s Rainbow
• Odette Mould on LinkedIn
• Sophia Giblin on LinkedIn 
• Donate to Harry's Rainbow

Hosts Odette Mould and Sophia Giblin discuss how parents can support themselves after losing their child in the penultimate episode of Season 1.

Odette shares well-intended conversations that had the opposite effect on her after losing Harry.  She didn’t appreciate it when people would try to comfort her by saying they understood what she was going through, because they didn’t: only someone who has lost a child of their own would understand the unique pain of burying your child. And when people would compliment her strength, saying they wouldn’t be able to hold on like she was doing, it made her feel like she couldn’t be vulnerable in front of them.

What did help her, though, were the people reaching out wanting to talk about Harry and remember him, dropping a simple text on the anniversary of his death. Those things made a world of a difference to Odette and her family.

Odette advises listeners who knew a child that passed to write down memories of them in a card and send them to the bereaved family. Your memory of their loved one will be invaluable to them.

Key Takeaways

• Rather than saying you understand a parent’s loss, comfort them by offering to help them with whatever you can.
• Families appreciate when people reach out and remember their late loved ones.
• Sharing a special memory you have of a late child with their family is something they will cherish. 

Resources

• Harry’s Rainbow
• Odette Mould on LinkedIn
• Sophia Giblin on LinkedIn
• Donate to Harry's Rainbow 

 Co-Host Sophia Giblin shares her experience losing a parent as a teenager, and having to cope as the eldest sibling of four. 

Sophia’s mum was diagnosed with cancer in the year of her GCSEs. Their family had reason to hope she would get better with chemo, but she kept getting sicker and sicker. Seeing her health deteriorate with the treatment was already traumatic enough, but Sophia was abruptly forced to come to terms with losing her mother when her father sat her and her siblings down to explain that their mother wouldn’t survive. Not even a full week later, their mum died. 

Navigating life with that grief in her heart was difficult. Sophia didn’t feel safe with her feelings, and was reluctant to talk about her pain in fear that it would trigger others’ pain as well. She repressed them and tried to numb them, and, if she found someone she thought was safe enough to talk to, she would test the waters to see just how safe. 

Odette and Sophia remind listeners about the importance of creating spaces of safety for children to be able to share how they’re feeling, what they’re thinking, their fears, desires, and concerns. 

Key Takeaways:

• Sophia had no time at all to come to terms with losing her mum.
• Sometimes, people repress their feelings and don’t talk about them with others because they don’t feel safe with them.
• It’s important that adults create spaces of safety for children to share what’s on their minds.

Resources

• Harry’s Rainbow
• Odette Mould on LinkedIn
• Sophia Giblin on LinkedIn
• Donate to Harry’s Rainbow