It’s time to talk about the two kinds of people in this world: the seekers and the stuck.

In this episode, I dive deep into the real reasons why some lives transform after abuse while others continue to feel stuck.

We’re unpacking:

• Why healing is not about labeling your abuser a narcissist and calling it a day
• How to know when you’re ready to move from survivor to thriver.
• What your philosophy of life has to do with your emotional garden.
• Why reading one more Instagram post about toxic people isn’t going to transform your life.
• And how your anger might just be the spark that gets you out of the cage.

Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

• Listen to my book, All the Scary Little Gods, for FREE!
• Liked this episode? Then check out these two other Flying Free episodes, “An Emotional Recovery Tool That Changes Everything” and “How Pretending and Fear Keep You Stuck in Abuse Cycles.”

What if the very place you went for safety, love, and divine wisdom turned out to be the scene of the crime? Today we’re diving headfirst into the world of spiritual abuse.

This week, I’m joined by Katherine Spearing, founder of Tears of Eden, trauma recovery practitioner, and author of a new book, A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts.

If you’ve ever been told that “God doesn’t want your happiness, He wants your holiness” while you were slowly disintegrating inside, well, friend, you’re in for a ride. Buckle up, because we’re talking:

• Why spiritual abuse is often so subtle you won’t realize you’re bleeding out until you’re halfway through a panic attack
• How high-control religious environments get you to abuse yourself (sick, right?)
• The toxic theology that turns God into a cranky toddler with a lightning bolt

Key Takeaways:

• Spiritual abuse is real, complex, and often normalized. Just because it’s subtle doesn’t mean it’s not wrecking your soul.
• You’re not wrong for wanting peace, freedom, and autonomy. That’s not “selfish.” That’s survival.
• Religious trauma isn’t just in your head. It’s in your nervous system, and it needs gentle care to heal.
• You get to get your mail from God. Not from your pastor, your husband, or some elder board in polyester pants.
• Patriarchy is the backbone of most spiritual abuse. If your theology only benefits dudes, it’s not the gospel, it’s a con.
• There’s a whole beach of freedom outside that toxic church sandbox. And God’s not mad you left.

Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

• Grab a copy of Katherine’s book, A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts
• Connect with Katherine on Instagram
• Hop on Katherine’s mailing list and get some free resources while you’re on her site.

Katherine Spearing MA, CTRC is the founder of Tears of Eden, a nonprofit supporting survivors of spiritual abuse, and the former executive producer and host of the groundbreaking podcast Uncertain, a podcast that pioneered pivotal conversations around spiritual abuse. She also is a Certified Trauma Recovery Practitioner working primarily with clients who have survived cults, high-control environments, spiritual abuse, and sexual abuse. Katherine is a huge advocate for the power of art to help us on our healing journey. She participates in improv theater both as a performer and coach and is the author of one novel. A Thousand Tiny Paper Cuts, her new book on spiritual abuse, addresses the survivor’s recovery journey. She has been a guest on a number of podcasts, including IndoctriNation and A Little Bit Culty, is the author of several nonfiction articles, and writes regularly at katherinespearing.com and tearsofeden.org.

Has your inbox turned into a dumpster fire of accusatory texts from your abuser?

In this episode, I hand you a step-by-step strategy to shut down the inner emotional chaos without getting dragged into the mud pit with him. It's not just about survival. It's about winning (for YOU!)

What We Cover in This Episode:

• What to do when your abuser won’t stop texting lies, and the courts won’t let you block him
• How to stop reacting and start playing offense with your own sanity-protecting strategy
• Why your emotional reaction is his favorite snack (and how to starve that monster)
• The magic of radical acceptance. No, he’s not going to wake up one day and be Prince Charming
• Why sarcasm is satisfying but not strategic (sorry, my fellow sass queens)
• A game-plan that builds a rock-solid paper trail, perfect for court receipts and your peace of mind
• How to rewire your nervous system before you even read his garbage texts

Read the full show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here

Related Resources:

• Check out Aimee Says for help wading through the word salad your abuser is throwing at you.
• Listen to some other Flying Free episodes, including “Winning Child Custody & Divorce Battles” and “How to Respond to Emotional Abuse Tactics.”