Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse Podcast Por Hecate arte de portada

Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse

Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse

De: Hecate
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An intersectional healing podcast for survivors of sexual assault and any/all abuse. When survivors share, they share strength. "Finding OK" helps people navigate this difficult healing process. The focus is on recovery, self-care, empowerment, and healing. You are not alone.

© 2026 Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse
Ciencias Sociales Desarrollo Personal Higiene y Vida Saludable Psicología Psicología y Salud Mental Éxito Personal
Episodios
  • Water Your Garden
    Apr 7 2026

    Water Your Garden with ThiccSparkleButt: Leaving a Religious Doomsday Cult, Reclaiming Voice, and Naming Rape by Deception.

    Hecate of Finding OK talks with poet and Twitch streamer, ThiccSparkleButt, about her healing journey. Thicc talks about growing up in a doomsday religious cult and how it damaged her family relationships, established poor boundaries, stifled her identity, and lay the groundwork for patterns of abuse in her life. She shares her journey through abusive relationships, coercion and deception, claiming identity and autonomy, and finding support. Therapy (including EMDR) and supportive Twitch spaces helped her reclaim her voice, streaming, and creativity; it helped her improve boundaries, grieve lost friendships, and speak publicly about rape by deception. Thicc encourages survivors to remember that healing isn’t linear, and to remember to “water your garden”.

    TW/CW: Religious trauma, cults, suicide, abuse, PTSD, sexual assault, coercion and deception, substances, and strong language.

    Episode Notes:


    Thicc on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/thiccsparklebutt
    Therapy for Black Girls: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/
    Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/
    Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK
    Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/CrossroadsCrowStudios
    Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/
    Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl...

    Timestamps:


    00:00 Traumatic Two Step Poem
    02:12 Podcast Welcome and Guest Intro
    04:40 Trigger Warnings and Support
    05:51 Icebreaker Questions and Self Care
    11:57 Growing Up in a Cult
    17:16 Leaving and Family Fallout
    23:47 Realizing It Was a Cult
    28:50 Controlling Relationship in Atlanta
    32:38 Podcast Friend Turns Abuser
    45:32 Deception Is Not Consent
    46:26 Aftermath and Reclaiming Voice
    49:46 Therapy Journey and Healing
    53:40 Twitch As Healing
    55:22 Reclaiming Streaming
    58:41 Leaving The Ex
    01:00:39 Reclaiming Poetry
    01:03:32 Naming The Assault
    01:06:17 Speaking Out Online
    01:10:59 Friends Need Boundaries
    01:19:08 Forgiving Yourself
    01:25:31 Race And Therapy
    01:33:40 Grief And Being Undeniable
    01:39:42 Inner Child Strength
    01:42:53 Advice And Farewell
    01:45:59 Credits And Support

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    1 h y 50 m
  • The Internalized Male Gaze and Self-Objectification
    Dec 16 2025

    Join Hecate in this episode of 'Finding OK,' a healing podcast for survivors of SA and abuse, as they delve into the concept of "the male gaze", how it's internalized, its role in objectification, and its intersection with sexual healing post-trauma. Inspired by Margaret Atwood's poem from 'The Robber Bride', Hecate explores how societal beauty standards and the male gaze have influenced their self-perception, sexuality, and share reflections on their journey toward authentic pleasure and intimacy. This episode aims to provide strength and resonance for women, femmes, and AFAB individuals. Listen for powerful personal reflections on noticing and dismantling internalized patriarchal views. and a call for embracing radical self-love (it's a process).

    Episode Notes:

    The Male Gaze:

    https://media-studies.com/male-gaze/

    https://theconversation.com/half-a-century-of-the-male-gaze-why-laura-mulveys-pioneering-theory-still-resonates-today-256875

    Miss Representation: https://therepproject.org/films/miss-representation/

    It's a must watch!

    Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/

    Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

    Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/c/CrossroadsCrowStudios

    Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you!

    https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

    Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl...

    00:00 Introduction and Poem Reading

    02:00 Podcast Introduction and Trigger Warnings

    04:11 Understanding the Male Gaze

    06:45 Personal Experiences with the Male Gaze

    11:36 Internalized Male Gaze and Self-Objectification

    13:53 Intersection with Sexuality and Body Image

    23:08 Healing and Moving Forward

    29:22 Closing Remarks and Acknowledgements

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    33 m
  • Sexual Assault During Menstruation and Post-Trauma Triggers
    Sep 9 2025

    In this episode Hecate discusses why menstruation can be triggering for survivors, especially for those who have been assaulted during their periods. Hecate provides statistics from medical studies indicating that a significant percentage of SA survivors were menstruating at the time of their assault. The combined social stigmas against speaking about SA and menstruation mean this is an experience that is not being talked about enough, leading to even greater feelings of isolation and shame.
    The episode also addresses some of the challenges of managing periods post-trauma, and different menstrual products through a survivor’s lens. With personal anecdotes and research-backed insights, this episode aims to provide a voice to the often unspoken and overlooked intersection of menstruation and SA trauma. Hecate hopes this episode will help other survivors who have had this experience feel less alone.

    Tw/Cw: SA (and some details of assaults), R*pe, PTSD, menstruation, substances, and strong language.

    Links and References:

    Cardenas, K., Wiersma, G., Dykema, J., Rossman, L., Fedewa, J., & Jones, J. S. (2011). 279 impact of the victim’s menstrual cycle phase on genital injuries following sexual assault. Annals of Emergency Medicine, 58(4). https://doi.org/10.1016/j.annemergmed.2011.06.309

    Gollapudi, M., Thomas, A., Yogarajah, A., Ospina, D., Daher, J. C., Rahman, A., Santistevan, L., Patel, R. V., Abraham, J., Oommen, S. G., & Siddiqui, H. F. (2024). Understanding the interplay between premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD) and female sexual dysfunction (FSD). Cureus, 16(6). https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.62788

    Noll, J. G., Trickett, P. K., Long, J. D., Negriff, S., Susman, E. J., Shalev, I., Li, J. C., & Putnam, F. W. (2017). Childhood sexual abuse and early timing of puberty. Journal of Adolescent Health, 60(1), 65–71. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2016.09.008

    Vu, A., Moaddel, V., Emmerich, B., Rossman, L., Bach, J., Seamon, J., Barnes, M., Ouellette, L., & Jones, J. (2023). Association between the victim’s menstrual cycle phase and genital injuries following sexual assault. Clinical Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology, 6(2), 038–042. https://doi.org/10.29328/journal.cjog.1001127

    *Thank you again to my sister Chie for their invaluable help with research and citations!*

    Articles about the heavy metals found in tampons:
    https://factor.niehs.nih.gov/2024/8/feature/3-feature-metals-in-tampons

    https://publichealth.berkeley.edu/articles/spotlight/research/first-study-to-measure-toxic-metals-in-tampons-shows-arsenic-and-lead

    https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0160412024004355#:~:text=Across%20those%20studies%2C%20a%20range,et%20al.%2C%202022).

    Lucky Iron Fish: https://luckyironlife.com/?srsltid=AfmBOorbSgfTM6sE3c6r-IRy3MNC0u-i8v-S4-s5lkZPo89aSCXJvEfj

    Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/

    Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK

    Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member!
    https://www.patreon.com/c/HecateFindingOK

    Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you!
    https://www.finding-ok.com/support/

    Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music!
    https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl...

    Timestamps:

    00:00 Introduction and Trigger Warnings
    01:17 Menstruation and Trauma
    07:47 Challenges with Sanitary Products
    12:14 Personal Experiences of Assault During Menstruation
    15:58 Statistics and Research on Assault During Menstruation
    21:01 Triggers and Coping Mechanisms
    32:08 Conclusion and Support
    3

    Support the show

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    37 m
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I related to so much in these episodes.
thank you, for sharing and putting yourself out there.

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