Finding God in Our Pain Podcast Por Sherrie Pilkington arte de portada

Finding God in Our Pain

Finding God in Our Pain

De: Sherrie Pilkington
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When life as we know it is flipped upside down, we struggle to make sense of it all. Why would a good God allow this to happen? Hi, I’m Sherrie Pilkington, your host of Finding God In Our Pain. In 2018, when I unexpectedly lost my husband of 32 years, questions erupted out of my deepest despair. Since then, I’ve continued to search the heart of God for what He has to say about pain and suffering. In this podcast we’ll discover how God enters into our pain, shepherds us through our darkest valleys, and leads us to green pastures once again. I’ll bring you firsthand stories from women who allow us into their authentic struggles, along with professional advice from experts, counselors, and others who can help us navigate pain. Join me, as we discover God’s answers to the deepest cries of our shattered hearts.Copyright 2020 All rights reserved. Cristianismo Desarrollo Personal Espiritualidad Higiene y Vida Saludable Ministerio y Evangelismo Psicología Psicología y Salud Mental Éxito Personal
Episodios
  • Finding Freedom from Narcissistic Abuse, with Annette Chesney

    Finding Freedom from Narcissistic Abuse, with Annette Chesney
    Dec 31 2025
    SUMMARY: - “Hurting people hurt people—but narcissists mean to. The higher up the spectrum, the more deliberate and sadistic it becomes.” - “A normal person can self-reflect and repair. A narcissist can’t or won’t—self-reflection feels like death to them.” - “You didn’t cause this, and you can’t fix it. It’s not your fault.” - “As darkness rises, so does the glory of God. What the enemy meant for evil, God can turn for good.” - “If you move slowly and keep physical/emotional boundaries while dating, a narcissist will often disqualify himself.” Annette’s 4-category spectrum - Category 1: “Normal” human flaws—can be selfish or insensitive at times, but can self-reflect, repent, repair, and grow. - Category 2: Emotionally immature; hurtful without calculated malice. Constant defensiveness, blame-shifting, meltdowns when confronted. Change is unlikely; aim is reducing chaos and managing wisely if you choose to stay. - Category 3: Calculated and conniving. Love-bombing, data-mining your hopes/fears to weaponize later. Public charm/private cruelty. Dangerous in church/community settings. You won’t resolve this. - Category 4: Sociopathic/psychopathic traits. Amplified cruelty and real danger. Divorce triggers the “monster.” Requires safety planning, documentation, and expert help. Dating red flags and protection - Love-bombing: intense pursuit, “soulmate” language, over-the-top gestures, fast-moving timeline. - Boundary testing: pushes past your limits; discomfort rises quickly. - Inconsistencies and subtle cruelty: backhanded comments, smirks at tears or grief, delight in your pain. - How to protect: move slowly, keep physical/emotional boundaries early, listen to the Holy Spirit and your discomfort, look for patterns (not isolated incidents), and let time test character. If you stay (Category 2 dynamics) - Goal: not fixing him, but wisely reducing chaos and preserving your well-being and the household’s stability. - Tactics: reframe requests in terms of what benefits him; avoid head-on confrontation; build your life outside the relationship (calling, ministry, education, friendships). - Support: grief the loss of the dream; get equipped; find a small, trusted peer group who truly understands narcissistic abuse. If you’re considering leaving (especially 3–4) - Safety first: if there’s a risk of harm, have a go-bag for you/kids/pets and get out. - Prepare: document everything; expect financial sabotage; avoid using the term “narcissist” in court unless there’s a diagnosis. - Kids: courts may be vulnerable to “parental alienation” claims; consider a High-Conflict Divorce Coach to reduce legal costs and navigate strategy. - Church/community: narcissists often “borrow” your credibility and pre-poison relationships. Find a healthy church culture and rebuild wise support. Biblical considerations for divorce - Abuse, abandonment, adultery are valid biblical grounds. With minors, weigh carefully: safety, modeling for children, and the realities of family court. Healing and identity - Post-abuse, identity is almost always impacted. You can be 10 years out and still hear their voice in your head—self-abuse by proxy. - The path: clean up the past (lies, agreements, unresolved pain), rebuild identity in Christ, then step into power and authority with wisdom and boundaries. - Beauty must rise with pain: intentionally add joy, nature, creativity, and community to counterbalance suffering. Church and parenting insights - Teach kids the Word, discernment, and healthy vs. unhealthy relationship dynamics. Christlike love includes boundaries and walking away when necessary. Programs and resources Annette mentioned - Living Well While Staying: coaching for women who choose to remain in Category 2 marriages, focused on reducing chaos and rebuilding a meaningful life. - Cinderella No More Academy: membership community and tools for recovery and growth. - Cinderella Conversations: 4-session discovery series on identifying narcissistic dynamics, tactics, false guilt, and spiritual warfare. - Upcoming book: Cinderella No More: Becoming Ella (target 2026). She’s seeking early readers for feedback. - For severe trauma/PTSD: consider a Christian therapist specializing in trauma; complement with coaches who understand narcissistic abuse. Interview for fit. One thing to remember - You didn’t cause it, you can’t fix it—and this isn’t the end. With God, this can be the beginning of a new, stronger chapter. You get to write the next chapters with Him. PODCAST INTRO: My guest Annette Chesney is a Christian coach, speaker, and seasoned recovery professional who equips women healing from narcissistic abuse. Narcissistic dynamics can be hard to spot because they often look like ordinary relationship friction at first. Many people struggle to tell the difference between someone who is simply hurting and occasionally hurtful, and someone who persistently ...
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    1 h y 7 m
  • Singing Through the Fire, Author Lara Silverman on Joy Amidst Suffering

    Singing Through the Fire, Author Lara Silverman on Joy Amidst Suffering
    Dec 17 2025
    SUMMARY: Guest: Lara Silverman — comedic actress, jazz singer, violinist, author, Stanford Law grad; formerly a federal prosecutor. -Faith roots: Grew up in a large Romanian Christian family (with Syrian Christian heritage); accepted Christ at 7; faith deepened after her aunt’s death from cancer. -Calling to law: Loved advocacy and public speaking; passed the bar after intense study; landed her dream role as a federal prosecutor in San Francisco. -Health crisis: Fell acutely ill in week two on the job with a rare, under-researched neurological vertigo disorder; tried ~30–150 therapies and ~38 medications (often worsened symptoms); bedridden for three years on a bedpan; ultimately resigned her post. -Ongoing illness: Continues to experience constant spinning sensations; multiple tentative diagnoses, no definitive cure; learned to walk again despite worsening symptoms when upright. -Spiritual wrestle: Initial confusion turned to seasons of bitterness and anger (more than depression); felt misunderstood by some believers when she sensed God calling her to accept ongoing suffering. -Acceptance and surrender: Believes God spoke that she would not be fully healed on this side of eternity; fasting exposed idols of health, marriage, and career; moved toward surrender and trust. -Meeting Matt: Church acquaintance (youth leader) who reached out during her bedridden years; he had suffered childhood cancer and was later diagnosed with terminal cancer; they formed a deep bond through shared suffering. -Marriage and loss: Married despite her illness and his terminal diagnosis; experienced “joy in grief” through ministry and creativity; Matt died a year later; Lara testifies to God’s peace and preparation through the loss. -Joy amid grief: Practiced finding “sprinkles of joy” (comedy clips, music, niece’s smile, devotionals); launched The Silverman Show (YouTube: comedy, music, theology); organized jazz fundraisers, including $13K raised for Haiti. -Theology of suffering: *Critiques “prosperity gospel light” in American church; calls for preparing believers to suffer well. *Emphasizes biblical themes: joy in suffering; God’s intentional purposes; eternal rewards (e.g., “crown of life”); 2 Corinthians 4:17’s “eternal weight of glory.” *Points to Isaiah 61 (double portion/redemption), 1 Peter 1:7 (tested faith), Job-like redemption ultimately fulfilled in eternity. *Cites Helen Roseveare’s testimony about trusting God in suffering. -Identity transformation: Early identity tied to achievement and “gold stars”; illness stripped these; learned identity in Christ, not performance; challenged by Matt’s loving rebukes about pride and usefulness. -Honest struggles: Jealousy when others receive “basic blessings” (marriage, children, health); wrestled with God’s statement “I know what’s best for you”; learning to believe God’s wisdom without having micro-level reasons. -Church’s role: Encourage sound theology of suffering, eternal perspective, and the call to “joy in grief”; avoid equating God’s love solely with earthly blessings. -Memoir: Wrote her memoir from bed over eight months, capturing God’s “receipts” (journaled answers, provisions, and lessons); aims to comfort sufferers with biblical reasons for suffering and stories of God’s nearness. -Hope redefined: Realistic hope is anchored in eternity (John 11:25); freedom from fear of death empowers purposeful living now. -Key scriptures referenced: 2 Corinthians 4:17 (eternal glory) 1 Peter 1:7 (tested genuineness of faith) Isaiah 61 (redemption, double portion) Isaiah 43:19–20 (streams in the wilderness) Romans 8:29 (conformed to Christ) John 11:25 (life beyond death) -Core takeaway: God provides “streams in the desert.” Open your heart to receive and choose joy in the midst of grief; joy and sorrow can coexist, and God will redeem suffering—fully in eternity, and often with foretastes now. PODCAST INTRO: What happens when the life you planned—brilliant career, healthy body, tidy faith, marriage and children—collides with relentless suffering? For comedian, jazz singer, author, violinist, and Stanford-trained attorney Lara Silverman, that colission became a calling. Lara spent years pursuing her dream of becoming a federal prosecutor—years of academic discipline, devoted goal setting, and passionate pursuit. After graduating from Stanford, she enters the grueling vetting and elimination process of 1000 hopeful lawyers with the goal of making it to the top 3. When she learns that she made it in the top 3 her dream becomes a reality…she is standing at the pinnacle of a major goal in her life. She was accepted as a federal prosecutor and begin the task of fully stepping into that role. Until in her second week on the job, she fell violently ill with what would later be discovered as a rare, unresolved neurological condition that keeps her in a constant state of the world spinning around ...
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    1 h y 16 m
  • The Dating Manifesto: Author, Lisa Anderson offers hope for dating after 40

    The Dating Manifesto: Author, Lisa Anderson offers hope for dating after 40
    Dec 3 2025
    SUMMARY: -Dating is harder today due to digital misrepresentation and added life complexities after 40 (widowhood, divorce, family-of-origin issues); real-life community is essential for discernment and support. -Prioritize meeting and observing potential partners in Christian community and everyday life to see a 360-degree picture (church involvement, service, friendships, parenting). -Four non-negotiables for compatibility: 1) a disciple of Jesus (vibrant, fruit-bearing faith), 2) adult readiness for marriage (responsibility, job, ownership), 3) humility and teachability, 4) generally aligned direction/calling. -Avoid “project” dating and rescuer roles; don’t ignore red flags—marry a whole person as you bring your whole self, with ownership and healing underway. -Therapy can be valuable, but vet carefully; seek biblically grounded counseling and community oversight (e.g., Focus on the Family’s vetted counselor network). -Lisa’s book, The Dating Manifesto, urges intentional, biblically honoring dating, debunks rom-com myths, and equips singles to live with purpose and hope while navigating grief and unmet expectations. -Churches often center on families; singles can be part of the solution by serving, leading, and creating community rather than criticizing from the sidelines. -Treat early dates as exploratory conversations (not instant marital auditions); ask your own questions, keep emotional perspective, and ensure you can remain in community, in a healthy way, if it doesn’t work out. -Discuss difficult topics (past relationships, addictions, pornography) as the relationship progresses; look for transparency, accountability, and community verification—humble, teachable responses are key. -Identity in Christ anchors dating and marriage; sexual integrity matters (avoid premarital sex and cohabitation), trust God’s timing, and “wait well” by abiding in Christ, engaging community, and pursuing purpose with open hands. PODCAST INTRO: Dating today can feel like defusing a minefield—especially after 40, when life experience, grief, divorce, or long seasons of singleness shape how we show up. So my guest today, Lisa Anderson is an author, she is the director of Boundless at Focus on the Family, and hosts The Boundless Show podcast. Our conversation is based on a biblical viewpoint of dating. I know many think it too strict but if we’re honest, God’s ways always bring life, peace, joy, protection and that’s a pretty good return on your investment. Lisa lays out some clear boundaries on dating and even sharing how to reflect on our own personal wholeness (meaning in what mental/emotional condition are we showing up, which can also help us know if we’re even ready to be dating). She talks about how to find a mate who is healthy themselves and what does healthy even mean. Her point being, if you’re dating after 40 then there’s been a lot of life that has happened. That’s a reality that we must fold into the process and so how can we discern between healthy, a hot mess, a fixer upper? I don’t know about you but at my age the thought of a fixer upper is not appealing but Lisa takes the reality of how life takes it toll on us and she breaks down on exactly how to tell if this is someone who has taken responsibility and is moving forward, vs stagnate or a straight up red flag. Oh and then there’s the challenges of digital dating. That seems to raise the bar on deception but in all fairness I’ve had friends who have used digital dating and they had good experiences. So don’t be dismayed, Lisa says there’s some good news. You don’t need perfect conditions to move forward, you need community, clarity, and courage. And that’s what Lisa delivers in this conversation. Real quick, Here are 2 of her dating suggestions that I think are solid: Start with real community One of the safer places is to meet someone in an environment where you spend time. Do you have a hobby, do you volunteer, where do you go to church & do you participate/serve at church? Ideally, you’re looking for like minded people and they’re going to be in the same places you are. Lisa says Community is the safest place to meet people and the wisest place to test new relationships. I thought that smart because you have an environment where people know the both of you. Date with purpose—but keep it simple I personally feel that dating is for marriage so I think that would put a lof of pressure….so Lisa was saying Think “exploratory conversation,” not instant compatibility quiz. It’s just coffee. Ask good questions. Just relax and Lisa reminds us… Until there’s a ring, you’re a brother and sister in Christ—treat each other that way. I’ll wrap up after this quick list. Here’s 4 non-negotiables to begin with. In our conversation Lisa breaks these down even more with great insight, examples and wisdom. A disciple of Jesus: Not just church attendance—active pursuit of Christ, fruit...
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    1 h y 23 m
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