Emotional Karaoke: Name Your Feelings Out Loud (A Sarcastic Guide)

If you’ve spent more than five minutes online, you’ve probably encountered the “name your emotion out loud” trend, because nothing says emotional intelligence like announcing your inner turmoil to the void. It’s the self-help equivalent of karaoke: grab the mic, belt out your anxiety, and hope nobody calls security. After all, if you don’t declare you’re nervous, does that even count as feeling nervous?

Proponents claim that labeling your feelings prevents them from running wild and forming an angry mob in your brain. They cite science-y studies about mindfulness and self-awareness, as if your deadlines and dirty dishes will politely pause while you interrogate your emotions. Of course, these gurus conveniently ignore the fact that naming your rage at 3 p.m. only makes your leftover lunch taste like defeat.

In real life, blurting out your emotion mid-PowerPoint often reads less like emotional mastery and more like an audition for a live therapy session. Imagine you’re in a client meeting, you lean back dramatically and proclaim, “I’m feeling overwhelmed.” Cue crickets—and everyone Googling “how to escape awkward moments.”

Then there’s the hardcore brigade that treats feelings like expired coupons—useless clutter to toss immediately. “Feelings? We don’t have time for that,” they scoff, charging on with blissful denial. They’d rather juggle flaming torches of stress than stop and say, “Hey brain, what are you up to?”

So what’s the takeaway? Next time your heart skips a beat or your forehead wrinkles, go ahead and shout it from your cubicle—because if you don’t share your emotional blooper reel, did it even happen? Embrace the absurdity, name that emotion out loud, and give your future self some binge-worthy content for therapy.