#132: Cultivating Secure Love with Julie Menanno (@thesecurerelationship)

In today's episode, I'm delighted to be joined by Julie Menanno. Julie is a couples therapist, best known for her hugely popular instagram account @thesecurerelationship where she offers nuanced and insightful takes on attachment dynamics and how couples can overcome negative cycles to build secure relationships. She has just released her first book, Secure Love, which offers couples a roadmap for building thriving relationships that last.

Our conversation covers a lot of ground, including:

• a deeper look at the fear of abandonment in anxious attachment
• key challenges of avoidant attachment
• negative cycles in anxious-avoidant relationships
• what to do when one partner doesn't want to go to therapy
• the importance of validating your partner's emotions (even if you disagree with their position)
• Julie's tips (as a mum of 6!) for raising secure kids

Buy Julie's book Secure Love on Amazon
Follow Julie on Instagram @thesecurerelationship
Visit Julie's website

Highlighted Links

• Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
• September 2025 London Event Waitlist

Additional Resources

• Join my email list 💌
• Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations
• Visit my website

Secure love and parenting

Thank so much for sharing this! I got into therapy after a very hard first year parenting, which ultimately ended in a divorce later on. Recently, I have learned about attachment theory after ending a very beautiful but painful anxious/avoidant relationship. It was very meaningful to me to hear how working on making yourself more secure can improve not only your romantic life, but also your parenting life, and in turn, ultimately your child’s future relationships. I think it’s common to go to some very dark places when we have let ourselves down, or been let down or heartbroken, but those experiences can fuel a drive for self-improvement…and realizing how much that work can help my son gives me extra motivation to keep learning. Thank you.