In this episode of Choosing To Stay, we explore one of the most important—and often overlooked—skills in relational recovery after betrayal: seeking to understand.

Seeking to understand isn’t about agreeing or even seeing things the same way. It’s about being present, seeking to understand, and respecting your partner’s experience—even when it differs from your own. We dive into what active listening actually looks like, why it can feel so hard (especially when emotions run high), and how it helps build emotional safety during a time when safety often feels lost.

Through practical insights and real-life examples, we’ll talk about how active listening helps move the relationship forward—not by going back to what it was, but by co-creating something new, healthier, and more connected.

Whether you're the partner in healing or the individual seeking recovery, this episode offers valuable tools for slowing down, tuning in, and creating space for healing through communication.

Listener Reminder: Recovery takes time, intention, and practice. Active listening won’t fix everything overnight—but it’s one of the most powerful tools you can use to begin healing together.

Thank you for tuning in!

We’re here to support couples healing from infidelity and betrayal, offering encouragement, practical skills, and expertise each week. As certified relational recovery coaches, we are passionate about guiding you toward hope, empathy, and lasting healing.

Stay connected with us and access all the resources we offer—coaching sessions, groups, and more—by visiting this link.

Your Hosts:

Hali RoderickCertified Relational Recovery CoachTICC, ACC, APSATS CPC-Candidate, ERCEM-trained

Stephanie HambyCertified Relational Recovery CoachMCLC, ACC, APSATS CPC, ERCEM-CWe look forward to journeying with you!

In this episode of Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal, we dive deep into one of the most challenging aspects of healing after betrayal: breaking the cycle of unhealthy communication patterns. Infidelity can fracture not only trust but the way we communicate with our partners, often leading to constant arguments, defensiveness, and a lack of resolution. But it’s possible to step out of these destructive cycles and create healthier, more productive conversations that promote healing, understanding, and trust. Join us as we explore practical strategies and tools to stop arguing and start communicating in ways that bring both partners closer together. We’ll talk about emotional reactivity, the power of active listening, setting boundaries, fostering vulnerability, and when to seek professional help.

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

• How infidelity impacts communication and why arguments often escalate in unhealthy ways
• The importance of understanding emotional triggers to break the cycle of blame and defensiveness
• How to use active listening to truly hear your partner and reduce conflict
• Practical steps to set ground rules for healthier communication in your relationship
• The role of vulnerability in healing, and how to create a safe space to express feelings
• How to apologize and forgive in a way that fosters trust and closeness
• Why seeking professional help might be necessary for breaking old communication patterns
• The power of celebrating small wins in rebuilding communication and trust over time

Thank you for tuning in!

We’re here to support couples healing from infidelity and betrayal, offering encouragement, practical skills, and expertise each week. As certified relational recovery coaches, we are passionate about guiding you toward hope, empathy, and lasting healing.

Stay connected with us and access all the resources we offer—coaching sessions, groups, and more—by visiting this link.

Your Hosts:

Hali Roderick

Certified Relational Recovery Coach

TICC, PCC, APSATS CPC-Candidate, ERCEM-C

Stephanie Hamby

Certified Relational Recovery Coach

MCLC, ACC, APSATS CPC, ERCEM-C

We look forward to journeying with you!

Thank you for tuning in! In this episode, Stephanie Lynn explores a unique healing tool—rhythmic expression using the ancient frame drum. Stephanie shares how this somatic practice helps betrayed partners process grief, anger, and overwhelm when words fall short. We talk about how drumming regulates the nervous system, reconnects the body, and gives voice to unspoken pain—all within a safe, guided space.

Stephanie Lynn APSATS-c,CPC, BT-IC, CDGC a certified professional coach specializing in betrayal trauma, deconstructing gaslighting, grief, inner child work, and is an APSATS Partner Coach Candidate. She is also a certified Disclosure Guide, Brainspotting Practitioner, and trauma-informed drumming facilitator. Stephanie empowers individuals navigating betrayal and supports couples pursuing relational repair. She offers polyvagal-informed drumming as an additional healing modality while working under the guidance of Dr. Janice Caudill—a leading expert in the field of betrayal trauma recovery—as part of her team at Intensive Recovery Coaching. Booking an appointment: Intensivehope.com and coachsteph@intensivehope.com coachstephanielynn.com/drumming

Whether you’re new to somatic healing or looking for something to support your journey beyond talk therapy, this conversation offers encouragement, education, and practical insight.

We’re here to support couples healing from infidelity and betrayal, offering encouragement, practical skills, and expertise each week. As certified relational recovery coaches, we are passionate about guiding you toward hope, empathy, and lasting healing.

Stay connected with us and access all the resources we offer—coaching sessions, groups, and more—by visiting this link.

Your Hosts:

Hali Roderick

Certified Relational Recovery Coach

TICC, PCC, APSATS CPC-Candidate, ERCEM-C

Stephanie Hamby

Certified Relational Recovery Coach

MCLC, ACC, APSATS CPC, ERCEM-C

We look forward to journeying with you!