In this deeply reflective episode, Kelley introduces a life-changing mantra: “I will no longer break my own heart.” She explores how self-abandonment, internalized beliefs about suffering, and delayed joy have shaped her past—and how choosing softness and intentional joy became her path to healing. Through personal stories, including her time living in Europe and the creation of her “joy jar,” Kelley offers listeners a grounded, practical way to stop equating pain with worth and start building a life rooted in ease and self-respect.

• You were likely taught that suffering makes you worthy—but that belief is a lie you can release.
• Joy is not something you earn later; it’s the practice that improves your life right now.
• You don’t need permission or a special occasion to choose yourself—you already are the occasion.

• 00:00 — The mantra: “I will no longer break my own heart” and what it really means
• 02:00 — The UTI story: how self-neglect became a belief system about worth
• 07:00 — Living in Europe: learning to hold joy and pain at the same time
• 12:30 — The Joy Jar: a simple, tangible way to practice choosing joy

This week, choose one small way to stop breaking your own heart.

It doesn’t have to be dramatic. It might look like resting when you’re tired, buying something that brings you comfort, or creating your own version of a joy jar.

Let it be simple. Let it be yours.

Because the shift isn’t perfection—it’s direction.

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Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review — your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.

Join our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.

Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.

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In this deeply honest and unexpectedly joyful conversation, Kelley sits down with author and television writer Angela Nissel to explore the layered reality of grief, caregiving, and rebuilding a life after loss. Together, they unpack the quiet, everyday griefs that linger long after the funeral, the guilt and self-blame many Black women carry, and the emotional toll of being “the strong one.”

Angela shares how losing her mother forced her to reimagine her relationship with work, success, and joy—leading her to choose freedom, presence, and connection over burnout and external validation. This episode is both a permission slip and a gentle guide for anyone navigating grief while trying to stay human in a world that asks them not to.

• Grief isn’t just about loss—it’s also about the stories we tell ourselves, including guilt and responsibility that were never ours to carry.
• Caregiving teaches presence in a way productivity never can—and those quiet moments often become the most meaningful memories.
• Loss can create clarity, helping you reevaluate relationships, work, and what truly matters.

• 00:03:30 – The Unexpected Weight of Grief: Angela shares how self-blame and guilt showed up after her mother’s passing—and why so many Black women internalize responsibility for loss.
• 00:10:30 – When Grief Forces You to Feel: A powerful reflection on how grief disrupts emotional avoidance and reveals what no longer aligns in your life.
• 00:14:00 – Redefining Work, Success, and Freedom: Angela opens up about leaving behind hustle culture and choosing a life centered on time, relationships, and joy.
• 00:31:00 – Caregiving, Presence, and What Actually Matters: A moving conversation on caregiving, being present, and why small moments of connection become the memories that last.

If you’re holding grief right now—big or small—try this: Take five minutes today to pause instead of pushing through. Reach out to someone you love, not to perform strength, but to be real. Or ask someone in your life a question about their story—something you’ve never asked before.Let yourself choose presence, even in small ways. That’s where the healing begins.

• Website: Angela Nissel
• Instagram: @angelanissel
• Pre-order the book: Good Grief, Pass the Bread, My Mom Is Dead, (available wherever books are sold)

Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout.

Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review — your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.

Join our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.

Become a paid subscriber ($5/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.

Check out PharmaNutra and use code BGB: https://pharmanutra-us.com

Savvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/

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In this episode, Kelley explores the idea that joy is not something we wait for, but something we actively practice, especially in difficult times. Drawing from personal reflection, cultural history, and evidence-informed healing, she unpacks how constant exposure to outrage and hardship can disconnect us from our humanity.

She reframes joy as both a survival tool and a form of resistance, rooted deeply in Black cultural traditions and ancestral wisdom. Through storytelling and practical insight, she invites listeners to build intentional “structures of joy” that are accessible, sustainable, and grounding.

This conversation is a reminder that staying human in a harsh world requires choice, practice, and softness without losing awareness.

• Joy is not something you earn after things get better. It is something you practice to survive what is happening now.
• Constant outrage may feel productive, but it often disconnects you from your ability to rest, create, and love.
• Building simple, repeatable practices of joy makes it easier to access when you need it most.

• 00:00 – The mantra: “I’m not waiting for the world to be good to feel good”
• 03:00 – The weight of current realities and how it impacts joy
• 09:30 – Why outrage is not the same as action and how it changes you
• 15:00 – Joy as resistance and how to begin building a practice of it

What would it look like to stop postponing your joy?

This week, choose one small, repeatable practice that brings you back to yourself. It could be music, movement, rest, or laughter. Let it be simple, accessible, and yours.

You are not waiting for the world to soften before you do. You are practicing staying human, right here, right now.

Like, follow, and subscribe across all platforms. Find us @blackgirlburnout.

Subscribe to our newsletter at blackgirlburnout.com. Watch on YouTube. Drop a review — your words make a real difference, and they warm Kelley's whole heart every single time.

Join our Substack family for weekly reflections, tools, and behind-the-scenes notes from Kelley.

Become a paid subscriber ($8/month) for exclusive resources and monthly workshops.

Check out PharmaNutra and use code BGB: https://pharmanutra-us.com

Savvy Ladies Free Financial Helpline: https://www.savvyladies.org/

Advertising Inquiries: RedCircle | Privacy & Opt-Out: RedCircle