Women Are Leaving Dating Apps — and Men Should Panic

Dating apps are driving women away in record numbers, and the 2026 Bumble report confirms it — women are ditching the swipe culture for matchmakers, real-life romance, and yes, Bridgerton. John and Echo break down exactly why this is happening, why men should care, and what it actually takes to make a woman feel chosen in a world full of low-effort guys.

They dig into why hookup culture has ruined dating for everyone, what women actually mean when they say "make men yearn again," and how the romance of fictional characters like those in Bridgerton isn't fantasy — it's just a standard men used to meet. Plus, John shares his counterintuitive secret for making a woman obsessed with you (hint: it involves pumping the brakes), and Echo opens up about keeping her own standards high even when everyone told her to lower them. They close out the episode with a raw, real conversation about a fight they had — and what John realized he was missing when Echo came to him vulnerable and he went full "fix it" mode.

• Women aren't abandoning men — they're abandoning low-effort men and the apps that enable them
• "Make men yearn again" isn't about wealth or looks — it's about pursuit, intention, and making her feel chosen
• The slow burn is your superpower: getting a woman to the point she'd sleep with you and then pulling back creates genuine obsession
• Investment creates value — the less effort you put in, the less you'll value what you get
• Women need to hold the standard from a place of self-respect, not contempt — there's a huge difference
• Men who treat women poorly can't separate that from their own relationship — it bleeds over
• In conflict, validate first, educate last — jumping to logic before she feels seen derails everything
• The BRAVE framework: Breathe, Resist defending, Assess the situation, Validate emotions, Educate — in that order

0:00 — Women Are Choosing Fictional Romance Over Dating Apps
2:48 — Why Women's High Standards Aren't Unrealistic
4:48 — What Women Actually Want: Make Men Yearn Again
8:41 — The Dating App Experience From a Woman's Perspective
12:42 — Men Should Be Upset — But Not For The Reason They Think
16:11 — Why Low-Effort Dating Makes Women Feel Worthless To Men
20:15 — The Hypocrisy of Slut-Shaming While Resisting Courtship
27:18 — The Secret to Making a Woman Obsessed With You
36:00 — Building Anticipation: The Key to Romance and Attraction
45:55 — Why Bars and Clubs Are the Worst Place to Find Love
53:08 — Good Standards vs. Toxic Standards for Both Genders
1:01:00 — Our Real Disagreement: When Logic Replaces Empathy

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Better Than Perfect is a relationship podcast that helps you navigate modern dating, marriage, and everything in between — with real talk and practical advice that actually works. New episodes every Friday.

Lying in Relationships: Why Honesty Sets You Free

Lying in relationships destroys trust faster than almost anything else — and John and Echo get brutally real about why people do it, what it actually costs them, and why the truth really does set you free. This episode covers everything from small white lies that snowball into a web of deception, to full-on double lives — and what the long-term consequences look like for both partners.

John opens up about his own past experience living a double life, breaking down the psychology behind why people lie (selfishness, avoiding consequences, wanting it all without the fallout) and why the short-term cover-up always costs more than the upfront truth. Echo brings the female perspective on betrayal, trust erosion, and why even little lies quietly kill intimacy. They also tackle the flip side: what you *don't* need to tell your partner — random intrusive thoughts, every fear and doubt in your decision-making process — and how to tell the difference between healthy discretion and straight-up deception.

• Lying is a gateway drug — small white lies snowball into webs of deception that are hard to escape
• The real damage from cheating isn't the act itself, it's the betrayal of trust that follows
• Living a double life is a mental prison — honesty is the only way to actually be free
• Withholding information with the intent to deceive IS lying, even if you never said a false word
• Not every thought needs to be shared — random intrusive thoughts aren't the same as deception
• As a leader, men don't need to reveal every fear and doubt, but they must own their mistakes
• The kindest thing you can do for someone you don't want to be with is tell them the truth
• Ask yourself: would I want to know this if the roles were reversed? That's your best guideline

0:00 — The Truth About Lying in Relationships
3:51 — Why Do People Lie to Their Partners?
7:12 — John's Experience Living a Double Life
9:30 — The Cowardly Choice: Why Not Just Be Honest?
13:14 — Cheating, Betrayal, and the Breach of Trust
17:00 — Lying as a Vice and Delayed Gratification
24:14 — Discipline, Character, and Holding Yourself to Standards
35:39 — What You Should and Shouldn't Reveal to Your Partner
44:07 — Leading with Conviction: What Men Should Keep to Themselves
53:43 — Women Who Lie and Why It Matters to Everyone
1:01:17 — Freedom Through Transparency and Closing Thoughts

🎙 Full show notes & resources
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Better Than Perfect is a relationship podcast that helps you navigate modern dating, marriage, and everything in between — with real talk and practical advice that actually works. New episodes every Friday.

Resentment in Relationships: How to Finally Let It Go

Resentment in relationships is the silent killer that turns the person you once vowed to love forever into someone you can barely stand — and in this episode, John and Echo break down exactly where it comes from and how to get rid of it. If you've been feeling irritated by your partner, wanting space, or wondering what happened to the love you used to feel, this episode will hit home. The truth is, resentment doesn't come from your partner — it comes from everything you've been bottling up inside.

John and Echo dig into why unresolved hurt and suppressed emotions are more dangerous than bad arguments, why unforgiveness is the cork keeping all that resentment locked in, and why forgiving yourself has to come first before you can truly forgive anyone else. They also cover how avoidant patterns fuel the buildup, why feelings aren't facts, and what it actually looks like to have a vulnerable conversation with your partner instead of just venting.

• Resentment builds from suppressed hurts — not just unresolved arguments — and silently rots the relationship from the inside out
• Unforgiveness is the cork in the bottle; until you pull it, no amount of willpower will empty the resentment
• True forgiveness means no emotional charge — if you can still weaponize it, you haven't forgiven it
• You have to look in your own bottle first — your hurts are your responsibility to process, not your partner's to fix
• Forgiving yourself is the prerequisite to forgiving anyone else; you can't extend grace you haven't given yourself
• Feelings are not facts — the story you're telling about your partner is shaped by resentment, not reality
• Avoidant people are especially prone to bottling things up, which accelerates resentment without them realizing it
• Vulnerability in conflict means expressing the underlying hurt, not attacking — and that starts with how you think, not just how you talk

0:00 — The Power of Forgiveness
3:33 — The Tartar Analogy: How Resentment Builds Up
5:36 — Why Suppressed Feelings Cause the Most Damage
8:08 — The Teabag Analogy: Losing Access to Your Hurt
10:38 — Uncorking the Bottle: Forgiveness Is the Key
14:05 — Check Under Your Own Rug First
18:55 — Give Your Partner the Same Grace as Your Parents
24:11 — Root of Bitterness: Why Resentment Gets Harder to Remove
27:29 — Emotional Agility: Processing Feelings in Real Time
34:20 — Feelings Are Not Facts: The Bus Story Paradigm Shift
43:43 — Forgiving Yourself Before You Can Forgive Others
50:39 — Everyone Is a Hot Stove: Taking It Less Personally
58:01 — Closing Thoughts & Where to Find Us

🎙 Full show notes & resources
📺 YouTube
📷 Instagram: @betterthanperfectpodcast
📧 Subscribe for weekly relationship advice

Better Than Perfect is a relationship podcast that helps you navigate modern dating, marriage, and everything in between — with real talk and practical advice that actually works. New episodes every Friday.