Over the next month, I’ll be sharing encore episodes of the podcast - conversations that remain just as relevant and impactful today. New episodes will be back in September!

This week’s encore episode features fan-favorite Dr. Amelia Kelley, and we’re digging into what gaslighting really is, how it shows up in our lives, and how we start to heal from it. This conversation originally aired in 2023, but it’s just as relevant today — especially if you’re navigating the aftermath of emotional abuse or trying to reclaim your sense of self.

Dr. Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist, researcher, and author whose work centers on women’s issues, relationship trauma, adult ADHD, and empowering survivors of abuse. Together, we unpack how gaslighting is used as a tool for power and control, how it erodes confidence and self-trust, and why self-care isn’t optional when you’re healing, it’s essential.

What you’ll hear about in this episode:

• The misconception of gaslighting: what it is and what it isn’t

• The effects of gaslighting on a victim’s mental health

• Dr. Kelley addresses the question, “Is lying gaslighting?”

• You cannot heal from trauma that you are still experiencing

• The steps to overcome and heal from gaslighting include becoming aware, getting outside feedback, and boundary setting

• What self-care looks like during the healing process

• Self-regulation for chronic stress when being emotionally abused

Learn more about Dr. Amelia Kelley:

Dr. Amelia Kelley is a trauma-informed therapist who has conducted research on the effects of exercise on adult ADHD symptoms as well as the effects of resiliency on PTSD. She is a trained Hypno-therapist, Art therapist, HSP Therapist, EMDR-informed therapist, meditation teacher, as well as a Certified Yoga instructor integrating therapeutic yoga and psychotherapy. She is a trainer, podcaster and writer in the “science-help” field focusing on; women's issues, empowering survivors of abuse and relationship trauma, Highly Sensitive Persons, motivation, healthy living, and adult ADHD.

Dr. Kelley is an adjunct counseling professor at Yorkville University as well as a nationally recognized relationship expert featured on XM Radio’s Doctor Channel on The Psychiatry Show. She is a coach and trainer for SAS’s Work/Life Program in Cary, NC and a resident trainer for the NC Art Therapy Institute. Her private practice is currently part of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium at the Kinsey Institute. She is a co-author of What I Wish I Knew: Surviving and Thriving After an Abusive Relationship and a contributing author for the Highly Sensitive Refuge. You can find out more about her work at her website www.ameliakelley.com or by following her on Instagram @drameliakelley.

Resources & Links:

Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
Kate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoach
Kate on Facebook
The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage

Dr. Kelley’s website
Dr. Kelley on Instagram
NYTimes Article about Women and Menopause
Heart Disease in Women

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Episode link: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/encore-episode-healing-from-gaslighting-with-dr-amelia-kelley/

If you’ve been in a narcissistic, emotionally abusive, or coercively controlling relationship, you may think you’re alone in your confusion and trauma. After working with thousands of women, however, I can assure you that abusers are all operating out of the same playbook. The gaslighting, the love bombing, the silent treatment? The patterns are actually completely predictable. It’s called the Abuser’s Playbook. And if there’s a playbook for them, there’s a playbook for you, too.

In this solo episode, I walk you through ten of the most common tactics abusers use and more importantly, how to counter each one. This isn’t about changing them. This is about keeping yourself safe, reclaiming your sanity, and taking your power back.

The 10 common tactics narcissistic abusers use (and what you’ll hear about in this episode):

1. Love bombing and future faking that keeps you hooked and how to track the cycle

2. Gaslighting that erodes your sense of reality and how to ground yourself in the truth

3. Projection that flips the blame onto you and how to recognize what’s actually theirs

4. Triangulation that isolates you and how to stay rooted in your own perspective

5. Hoovering that pulls you back in and how to hold your boundary when it feels impossible

6. Smear campaigns that twist your story and how to stay steady when your reputation is under attack

7. Threats and intimidation that instill fear and how to protect yourself and plan ahead

8. Stonewalling and silent treatment that punish you and how to stop chasing their approval

9. Baiting and rage that push you to the edge and how to respond without losing yourself

10. Financial abuse that traps you and how to begin reclaiming control

➡ Download The Survivor’s Playbook at KateAnthony.com/playbook

Resources & Links:
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective
How He’ll Likely React Bingo card
Kate on Instagram @kateanthony_divorcecoach
Kate on Facebook
The D Word: Making the Ultimate Decision About Your Marriage

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Episode link:
https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-333-if-theres-a-playbook-for-them-theres-a-playbook-for-you/

Why are women’s health concerns still being dismissed and what can we do about it?

The healthcare system was not built for women. For many of us, especially in midlife, our health concerns are dismissed, misunderstood, or flat-out ignored. And when you’re navigating the storm of divorce at the same time as perimenopause or menopause? It can feel like you’re unraveling.

I’m joined by Phoenix Rising member Kathy Gould, a holistic health coach, personal trainer, life coach, lactation consultant, and current grad student finishing her second Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy. (I’m telling you, the women in Phoenix Rising are BADASS!)

This episode started as a guest expert session inside Phoenix Rising (my divorce empowerment collective for women). The conversation was so powerful, I knew I had to bring it to the podcast.

Kathy and I get into why the medical system has failed women, how we’ve been gaslit about our own bodies, and what it looks like to take our power back especially during times of massive upheaval like divorce. We are not meant to go through this quietly, and we are certainly not meant to go through it alone.

What you’ll hear about in this episode:

• Why women’s health is dismissed, especially in midlife (6:11)

• The deep need for more open, supportive conversations around our wellness (12:14)

• The long-standing misconceptions about hormone replacement therapy (HRT) (16:41)

• What Kathy recommends for women going through both divorce and menopause at the same time (35:15)

• How to advocate for yourself when doctors aren’t listening (especially if they’re covered by insurance) (41:59)

Learn more about Kathy Gould: Kathy is an integrative holistic health coach, life coach and personal trainer. She is also a certified lactation consultant. She holds a Masters Degree in Health Psychology and is currently finishing a second Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. Kathy is passionate about women's health and wellness and has dedicated her career to women's physical and emotional wellness.

Resources & Links:
Focused Strategy Sessions with Kate
The Divorce Survival Guide Resource Bundle
Phoenix Rising: A Divorce Empowerment Collective

Kathy’s website
Kathy on Instagram

NY Times Article: Women Have Been Misled About Menopause

Menopause Barbie on YouTube: Dr. Barbara Taylor

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL OR PSYCHOLOGICAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY, COACH, OR THERAPIST IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Episode link:
https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-332-divorce-menopause-and-medical-gaslighting-with-kathy-gould/