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If there is no mind, why does it feel so loud?

In this episode I look at what we call “the mind” as a living stream of thoughts appearing. Images, commentary, expectations about awakening, ideas about how this should feel and what should happen next.

We explore thinking by looking at it directly. Thoughts arise. They move. They dissolve. And it becomes clear that there is simply experience unfolding.

Some thoughts pass lightly. Others carry emotional charge. We look at how old hurt can still live in the system, and how protection forms around it. Over time, that protection shapes identity — “I am shy,” “I am not worthy,” “I am ashamed.”

Like a rubber band stretched between pain and the desire for relief, tension builds. When hurt receives attention and space, the energy settles. The story softens. Identity loosens.

Attention gently returns to direct experience — sensation, sound, color, breath. Life is already here before thought describes it.

This episode is an invitation to see thinking as part of the flow of experience, and to recognize what remains present through it all — simple awareness, here and now.

Music by Valdi Sabev, Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music
https://www.youtube.com/c/ValdiSabev/featured

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Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

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In this episode of Awakening Now, I sit down with Angelo DiLullo to explore the myths that quietly shape how people think awakening is supposed to unfold.

We look at the belief that awakening should resemble someone else’s story, feel pleasant, bring special abilities, or resolve the human experience once and for all. Angelo points directly to how these expectations form without being questioned — and how they create unnecessary confusion when real experience doesn’t match spiritual narratives.

We also explore the myth that something has gone wrong when awakening feels difficult, and the assumption that safety or stability must be established before truth can be seen. Rather than offering new ideals, the conversation stays close to what is actually happening in the body, emotions, and daily life.

This episode is for those who feel sincere in their inquiry yet unsure why things don’t look the way they expected. It’s an invitation to notice what may already be quietly obvious when comparison, fantasy, and self-judgment fall away.

About the Guest:
Angelo DiLullo, MD, is an anesthesiologist, spiritual teacher, and author. Following a profound awakening at age 24, he recognized how thoughts shape perception and that suffering is not inherent to life. Since then, he has guided others toward the recognition of natural, non-separate awareness.

Music by Valdi Sabev, Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music
https://www.youtube.com/c/ValdiSabev/featured

Support the show

Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com

Send me your thoughts in a Text Message

In this episode of Awakening Now, Ilona Ciunaite is joined by Steven D’Souza — author, leadership guide, and creator of Leading From the Dark — for a deep conversation about shadow work, awakening, and becoming more human.

Steven describes the shadow as “the me I don’t see,” and together we explore how it shows up through projection, strong emotional reactions, and repeating patterns that feel disproportionate to the moment. We look at how shadow material often reveals itself first in the body — as tightening, guarding, contraction, or emotional charge — and how these signals can become doorways to integration rather than problems to fix.

The conversation moves through Steven’s own spiritual journey, from a traditional Catholic upbringing and time exploring the priesthood, to decades of work with leaders and organizations around the world. He shares how he approaches shadow work through multiple lenses — psychological, biological, systemic, and spiritual — and why the “dark” can be a place of transformation, like a seed in the earth or a baby in the womb.

This episode is for seekers who have seen clarity and still meet contraction, for leaders interested in depth and maturity, and for anyone sensing that wholeness includes the parts that were once denied or exiled. The invitation throughout is simple: meet what arises with curiosity, safety, and compassion. Steven’s final word for the path is love.

Steven’s website is:

Leading From the Dark
👉 https://leadingfromthedark.com

That’s where he shares his work on shadow, leadership, and negative capability, and where people can sign up for his newsletter or learn about talks and retreats.

Music by Valdi Sabev
Visit his channel for more calm and relaxed music
https://www.youtube.com/c/ValdiSabev/featured

Support the show

Websites
http://ilonaciunaite.com
http://liberationunleashed.com