Kate was born at a Florence Crittenton home in Kansas City, MO, in 1970 and placed with her adoptive family at 9 days old. She always knew she was adopted and has always wanted to find her family of origin. This was finally made possible when Missouri changed its laws allowing adopted people access to their original birth certificates. She has been in reunion with her mother since 2018, meeting her in person and getting a life-changing hug in 2019. That hug was the first time she had a feeling of being home. Kate is also in reunion with her father’s family, who have been welcoming.

Reunion has been beautiful, messy, painful, liberating, and the most life-impacting thing Kate has ever experienced. Finding her story and learning about her people, though sometimes painful, has been incredibly grounding, and she now feels like a real person.

While finding family has been an overall positive experience, some of the stories have been quite difficult. Her father went on a shooting spree, killing three people, including two police officers, and wounding several more before taking his own life in Harrisonville, MO, in 1972. As luck would have it, she had a chance encounter with an author while visiting his grave for the first time. The author was doing research for a book he was writing about her father. This encounter was instrumental in helping Kate find healing, as it led to factual information about what happened that day in 1972, as well as connections with some of her father’s friends, giving her an understanding of the kind of person he was beyond the story he is most remembered for.

Kate has been fortunate that her mother was willing to answer all of her questions, even though they were uncomfortable and seemed repetitive. This helped her to understand the decisions made by her grandparents.

Had things turned out differently and Kate remained with her natural parents, her name would have been Lisa Simpson, which makes her giggle.

The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee Small

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, May 10th, @ 1 PM ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson

Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Because She Was Adopted by Kristal Parke

Dear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika Rouda

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Mike Brettmann was born in Des Moines, Iowa, in 1958 and adopted a few days later. He grew up on a small farm in Iowa with a brother who was adopted from another family. They were always told they were adopted, but it was never discussed. Mike joined the army after high school and served nearly 28 years on active duty. His uncle asked him to find the Brettmann family history while stationed in Germany. After tracing the Brettmann family in 1987, he wanted to find his roots. In 1999, he found his adoption papers and began a search for his birth parents, and in 2010, he connected with his birth mother. She gave him information about his birth father, who was not listed in the adoption papers, and they met in 2012. The reunion with his birth parents did not go well, but he was happy to learn his story and find some other relatives that he created a relationship with.

The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee Small

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, May 10th, @ 1 PM ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson

Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Because She Was Adopted by Kristal Parke

Dear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika Rouda

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.

Ellianna was born prematurely in a county hospital in Portland, OR, in 1968. She had been relinquished at birth, so she stayed in the hospital alone for several weeks. Foster care stepped in for a week, and then she went to her adopted family, where there was another adopted child that was 2 years older.

Ellianna moved around a lot as a child, and as an adopted child, this added to the feeling of not belonging anywhere. Adoption was not something talked about much in the home, but both children knew they were adopted.

At the age of 24, she met both of her birth parents and much extended family on both sides. This began the long, arduous journey of healing her wounds and finding where she belongs.

Ellianna moved in with her birth mother and grandmother one month after reunion and proceeded to start trying to find a way to fit into her newly forming identity. It has been a roller coaster ride of forging new families and dealing with the issues from the one she grew up in. No one could have prepared her for the long, winding road she has taken, but with it all, she has found peace and the belonging she desired.

The Adoptee's Journey: From Loss and Trauma to Healing and Empowerment by Cameron Lee Small

Thank you to our Patreons! Join at the $10 level and be part of our monthly ADOPTEE CAFE community. The next meeting will be on Saturday, April 12th, @ 1 PM ET.

RESOURCES for Adoptees:

S12F Helping Adoptees
Gregory Luce and Adoptees Rights Law
Fireside Adoptees Facebook Group
Dr. Liz Debetta: Migrating Toward Wholeness Movement
Moses Farrow - Trauma therapist and advocate
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline – 1-800-273-8255 OR Dial or Text 988.
Unraveling Adoption with Beth Syverson

Adoptees Connect with Pamela Karanova

Because She Was Adopted by Kristal Parke

Dear Amy, letters to Amy Coney Barrett. A project by Meika Rouda

Support the show

To support the show - Patreon.