If you’re exhausted and wondering Why Your Child Still Struggles despite trying everything, this episode explains what’s really going on. Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge, founder of Regulation First Parenting™, reveals how nervous system dysregulation—not parenting failure—blocks real change.

​​If you’re exhausted from trying therapy, medication, behavior charts, or every tip the internet throws at you, you’re not alone. So many parents reach out after years of effort, still confused about their child’s behavior and why change never seems to stick.

Today, I’m breaking down what’s actually happening inside a dysregulated brain—because this isn’t about willpower, effort, or “trying harder.” It’s about calming the nervous system first so kids can learn, grow, and handle difficult emotions in healthier ways.

Why does my child still struggle even after therapy, meds, and behavior charts?

If you feel like you’ve done “all the things” and nothing sticks, you’re not alone.

Most parents are given strategies that target symptoms instead of calming the nervous system first. And when a child’s brain is stuck in survival mode, problem solving skills, self regulation, cooperation, frustration tolerance, and even basic listening become neurologically impossible.

Megan’s story says it all. After years of OT, speech, CBT, and multiple meds, her son Jack still couldn’t transition, follow directions, manage anxiety, or regulate emotions. She felt defeated — but the real problem wasn’t effort… it was sequence.

Key Takeaways:

1. Behavior is communication, not defiance.
2. A dysregulated nervous system pulls the prefrontal cortex offline.
3. You can’t teach children skills during dysregulation.
4. It’s not bad parenting — it’s a dysregulated brain.

Many kids struggle not because they’re unmotivated, but because their brain is overwhelmed.

At school, with friends, or during transitions, your child may be struggling to manage frustration, think clearly, or solve problems—so lectures and consequences often bounce right off.

🗣️ “You haven’t tried everything — you’ve just been shown what to try first in the wrong order.” — Dr. Roseann

Why does my child fall apart even though they’re smart and capable?

Smart kids can still get stuck in fight, flight, or freeze. When the limbic system takes over, language, frustration tolerance, and cooperation shut down—this is why children struggle, even when a child who “knows better” suddenly can’t listen, transition, or self-regulate.

Look for clues:

1. Sudden irritability
2. Avoidance
3. “I won’t” moments that are truly “I can’t”
4. Micro-signs of dysregulation before the meltdown

Parent tip: Start observing your child like a detective — the little signals matter.

If you’re tired of walking on eggshells or feeling like nothing works…

Get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit and finally learn what to say and do...

Confused about diets for neurodivergent kids? In this episode, we answer Which Therapeutic Diet Helps Neurodivergent Kids, breaking down GFCF, keto, paleo, and more with Julie Matthews—guided by Dr. Roseann Capanna-Hodge’s Regulation First Parenting™ approach to calming emotional dysregulation.

Kids with ADHD, autism, anxiety, and emotional dysregulation can struggle so much, and you’re not imagining it—food truly can make or break their mood, focus, and behavior.

In this episode, I talk with nutrition expert Julie Matthews about which therapeutic diet really helps neurodivergent kids, how diet affects the brain, and simple ways to start even if your child is picky.

Food is powerful because it either nourishes the brain or bogs the nervous system down with inflammation. Julie breaks it into two parts:

1. Add nutrient-dense foods that support brain function, address nutritional deficiencies, and promote brain health in children with autism and other autistic patients.

A healthy and balanced diet or targeted dietary interventions can make a big difference.

1. Remove problematic foods that affect gut health, trigger immune system dysregulation, and impact cognitive function.

Options may include a gluten free diet or ketogenic diets, tailored to genetic and environmental factors.

Even brief swaps from processed foods and high sugar intake to whole foods often improve GI symptoms, autistic symptoms, mood, and attention.

• Inflammation = dysregulation
• Nourishing foods calm the brain faster than most parents expect
• Even one small change—like reducing dyes or food additives—can shift behavior fast

One mom shared that removing red dye led to fewer after-school meltdowns within 48 hours—proof that eliminating unhealthy foods and additives can dramatically shift autism severity and mood disorders.

There’s no one-size-fits-all diet, but Julie’s clinical experience is clear: most neurodivergent children improve when they reduce sugar intake, remove gluten free casein (GFCF) triggers, and focus on healthy foods that improve gut bacteria, immune response, and brain development.

Her book outlines a 12-step plan for implementing therapeutic diets, starting with removing dyes, flavors, preservatives, and then tailoring the diet to a child’s unique nutritional needs, GI disorders, and food sensitivities.

• Avoid artificial colors and additives
• Reduce sugar
• Remove gluten and dairy (high-impact inflammation triggers)
• Add protein, healthy fat, and whole foods

Why this matters: 70% of American kids rely heavily on processed foods—foods that overstimulate the nervous system and deplete nutrients needed for attention and regulation.

Want to stay calm when your child pushes every button?

Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP and get the FREE...

Discover the real reason you’re stuck in power struggles with your child and why discipline often fails. I’ll show you how understanding your child’s nervous system transforms conflict into calm, using my Regulation First Parenting™ strategies.

Parenting can feel overwhelming, especially when every morning feels like a standoff or every request turns into conflict. You’re not alone. Many parents find themselves exhausted trying discipline systems, charts, or punishments—only to watch the same struggles repeat.

In this episode, I share practical Regulation First Parenting™ strategies to break free from daily power struggles and help your child—and yourself—find calm and connection.

Why am I always stuck in power struggles with my child?

The truth is, power struggles aren’t about willfulness—they’re a direct result of a dysregulated nervous system. When a child’s brain is overstimulated, their emotional brain takes over, and logic and reasoning go offline.

This can affect personal relationships at home and even influence how children interact in their work environment or with peers, making it harder to maintain a fulfilling life for the whole family.

Without understanding these cues, parents can lose sight of their child’s deeper emotional needs, and behaviors may appear as a defense mechanism rather than purposeful disobedience.

Tips to break the cycle:

1. Pause before reacting: Your own nervous system sets the tone, helping you stay present instead of getting stuck in the same place of repeated conflict.
2. Co-regulate first: Match your child’s emotional state before attempting correction.
3. Focus on connection: Eye contact, soft tone, and proximity help your child feel safe.

Real-Life Example

Alex, a 9-year-old, transformed mornings from 45 minutes of chaos to 10 minutes of calm by teaching both him and his mom how to regulate before acting.

How can I teach my child to regulate emotions instead of punishing them?

Discipline systems only work when the frontal lobes are online. If a child is stressed, fearful, or dysregulated, punishment will often escalate conflict instead of teaching self-control.

Takeaways:

1. Regulate first, connect second, teach third.
2. Use quick rituals like deep breaths, tapping, or short mindfulness exercises.
3. Name what’s happening in the body, not who the child is: “Your body is tense—let’s calm it together” instead of “Stop being lazy.”

When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless.

The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control.

Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today.

What role does my own self-awareness play in power struggles?

Your own feelings and nervous system deeply influence your