I promised myself I wouldn’t yell… and then I did. If you’ve ever felt that gut-punch after losing it with your child—again—you’re not alone. I’ve been there too.

As a mom and therapist, I know how exhausting it is to parent a child who’s constantly melting down or talking back. But here’s the good news: you can learn to respond, not react—and it starts with calming your own brain first.

In this episode, I open up about what really drives those parenting blow-ups and how to calm your own nervous system first—so you can show up for your child with more calm, compassion, and confidence.

Why do I lose it when I swore I wouldn’t?

Even when we know better, sometimes our nervous system doesn’t. Our stress response kicks in, hijacks our rational brain, and suddenly we’re reacting—not responding.

That’s what happened to me on a day that started with a broken air conditioner and ended with a wrong pizza order. What set me off wasn’t the pizza—it was my empty stomach, my frayed nerves, and the fact that I didn’t take time to regulate.

We all have triggers. Sometimes it’s noise, sometimes it’s feeling disrespected, or simply being worn too thin. When we’re running on empty, the little things feel huge.

What can I do instead of yelling?

I get this question all the time. The truth is, it starts with calming your nervous system. That means:

• Taking a pause, even just to breathe.
• Saying out loud, “I’m feeling overwhelmed. I need a minute to calm myself.”
• Reminding yourself, “This isn’t misbehavior—it’s dysregulation.”

I often say to myself, “My calm is their calm.” When my kids are dysregulated, it’s not my job to match their energy. It’s my job to bring the calm. That’s not easy—but it is possible with practice.

​​Want to stay calm when your child pushes every button?

Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP and get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit—your step-by-step guide to stop oppositional behaviors without yelling or giving in.

Go to www.drroseann.com/newsletter and grab your kit today.

How do I stop the reactivity cycle in parenting?

It comes down to awareness. I’ve learned to notice the signs that I’m headed toward a meltdown: clenched teeth, shallow breathing, skipping meals. That’s when I know it’s time to step back.

Some of the best ways I regulate include:

• Movement: Even just a few squats or stretching.
• Hot/cold therapy: I use a heated neck wrap—my kids tease me, but it works!
• Quick phrases that interrupt the cycle, like: “I will not lose my stuff.”

It’s not about perfection. It’s about progress—and learning to hit the pause button before things escalate.

What should I do after I’ve already blown up?

• Reflect with self-compassion: Ask, “Was I hungry? Tired? Triggered? Overwhelmed?”
• Model accountability: Say, “I’m sorry I lost my temper. That’s on me.”
• Focus on emotional repair:
• “We’re both losing it—what can we do to stop this?”
• “I love you. You’re safe. I’m learning, just like you.”

Even toddlers understand phrases like “My brain feels hot.” Kids learn emotional regulation skills when we model repair and reflection.

How do I rebuild trust and connection with my dysregulated child?

• Apologize with empathy: It shows your child that it’s okay to make mistakes and come back to love.
• Don’t normalize constant conflict: Show your child that healthy relationships have ups and...

When your child is left out, it’s the kind of heartbreak you don’t forget. I’ve sat in that front-row seat—literally—and watched it happen in real time. And I want you to know: I see you, I’ve been you, and I’m still holding space for the hurt it brings.

In this episode, I’m sharing the very raw, personal story of how my son was excluded from a major school event. I’ll walk you through how I handled it (internally and externally), what I said to the teacher, and what I wish every parent would remember when it comes to teaching their child about friendship, social skills, and emotional regulation.

Why does it hurt so much when your child is left out?

Because we know how wonderful our kids are. We see their kind hearts, their quirky humor, their potential—and when other kids ignore or reject them, it feels like the world just can’t see what we do. That disconnect is painful. And when it happens publicly, it cuts even deeper.

At my son Giancarlo’s 8th-grade graduation, several of the other boys made speeches that mentioned all their friends—except him. He was the only child left out. I was sitting in the front row, so proud, so ready to celebrate his incredible journey as a dyslexic student who worked harder than most to get there. And instead, I sat in silent shock while my heart cracked open.

How should we respond when our child feels left out?

First, we have to co-regulate. I wanted to scream, to cry, to throw my arms in the air and demand someone fix this. But I didn’t. Because our job in that moment is to stay present. To model regulation. To hold our kids close emotionally, even if we can’t erase the pain.

What I didn’t do was rush to “fix it.” What I did do was sit with the discomfort. And later, I had a calm but direct conversation with the teacher. I told her how this impacted my son—not to place blame, but to make sure it never happens again. She cried. She apologized. And she owned it. That mattered.

Should you talk to other parents or teachers when these things happen?

Yes, but with intention. I didn’t blame the other kids. I didn’t even blame the parents. But I did hold the adult in charge—the teacher—accountable for letting it happen. In small school settings, we have the chance to teach inclusion. We need to take it.

🗣️ “Sometimes you can’t fix why your child was left out… but you can open conversations that protect the next kid from being excluded.” — Dr. Roseann

What if your child struggles with social skills or emotional regulation?

That’s when you go deeper. Ask yourself the hard questions: Is my child reading social cues? Can they join in conversations? Are their emotions getting too big, too fast?

These aren’t easy things to assess, but they are teachable. I’ve had parents come to me heartbroken, saying their child has never once been invited to a birthday party. And after working on regulation and social interaction, that same child got invited—for the very first time. That’s the power of regulation-first support.

When your child is dysregulated, it’s easy to feel helpless. The Regulation Rescue Kit gives you the scripts and strategies you need to stay grounded and in control.

Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and get your free kit today.

How do we help our kids build real friendship and self-worth?

It starts with reminding them that being excluded doesn’t mean they’re unworthy. It’s not about forcing them to “make more friends” or pretending it didn’t happen. It’s about sitting with them and saying, “I see how hard this is. I’m here with you.”

We also have to teach emotional language, coping skills,...

If your child is anxious, reactive, or easily dysregulated, it might be time to look at what’s on their plate. I talk with parents every day who feel stuck, not realizing that diet can be a fast, powerful way to regulate the nervous system.

In this episode, I share the top 3 foods that make anxiety worse—and how small swaps can lead to big changes in behavior, mood, and emotional control.

Why does my child crash after eating sugary snacks?

Sugar and processed carbs are everywhere. And honestly? They’re one of the most common triggers I see in anxious kids. These foods cause blood sugar spikes, followed by a crash that fuels anxiety, irritability, and mood swings.

They also disrupt neurotransmitters like serotonin and GABA, which are key for staying calm and focused. And let’s not forget the gut—simple carbs and added sugars increase inflammation, which affects both digestion and brain function.

I’ve seen families swap out cereal and juice for things like turkey roll-ups or apples with nut butter—and notice calmer behavior that same day.

What works: Combine healthy fats and proteins with carbs to avoid blood sugar crashes. That might look like yogurt with berries or a smoothie made with real fruit and nut butter.

If you’re tired of walking on eggshells or feeling like nothing works…

Get the FREE Regulation Rescue Kit and finally learn what to say and do in the heat of the moment.

Become a Dysregulation Insider VIP at www.drroseann.com/newsletter and take the first step to a calmer home.

Are food dyes and additives making my child’s anxiety worse?

Yes. Dyes like Red 40 and additives like aspartame and MSG can overstimulate the nervous system, especially in sensitive or neurodivergent kids. These ingredients are commonly found in snacks, drinks, and even vitamins—and they’ve been linked to:

• Poor sleep
• Difficulty focusing
• Irritability and mood swings

One mom told me her daughter would be “out of control for days” after eating just one candy with dye. After cutting it out completely, she saw a major shift in her child’s mood and behavior.

What to avoid: Neon-colored snacks, sodas, artificial sweeteners, and anything with a long ingredient list.

What to try instead: Naturally colored fruits, freeze-dried snacks, or a simple homemade trail mix with seeds, coconut flakes, and a bit of dark chocolate.

Can gluten really affect anxiety symptoms?

In short—yes. Gluten, especially in the U.S., is often sprayed with pesticides that disrupt the gut and trigger inflammation, which can worsen symptoms of anxiety and even panic attacks.

I’ve seen kids with undiagnosed gluten sensitivity deal with years of anxiety before we finally traced it back to their diet. My own nephew’s anxiety improved after discovering he had celiac disease.

The good news: There are tons of gluten-free options now—from brown rice to almond flour crackers to coconut wraps. You don’t have to go without—just make smarter swaps.

Can changing diet actually help reduce anxiety?

Absolutely. Making food changes doesn’t mean perfection or doing everything at once. But removing just one of these triggers—sugar, additives, or gluten—for 30 days can help your child sleep better, focus longer, and feel less anxious.

Stick with whole foods, healthy fats, protein, and complex carbs. Be consistent. Even small changes, when done regularly, can have a powerful calming effect on the nervous system.

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