A Different Perspective Official Podcast Podcast Por Berni Dymet arte de portada

A Different Perspective Official Podcast

A Different Perspective Official Podcast

De: Berni Dymet
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God has a habit of wanting to speak right into the circumstances that we're travelling through here and now; the very issues that we each face in our everyday lives. Everything from dealing with difficult people … to discovering how God speaks to us; from overcoming stress … to discovering your God-given gifts and walking in the calling that God has placed on your life And that's what these daily 10 minute A Different Perspective messages are all about.Christianityworks Cristianismo Espiritualidad Ministerio y Evangelismo
Episodios
  • Receiving Gifts // The Five Love Languages, Part 3

    Receiving Gifts // The Five Love Languages, Part 3
    Jan 21 2026
    That Neil Diamond song "You Don't Send me Flowers Anymore" says it all in some marriages. What happened to those unexpected gifts? What happened to the love? This week on A Different Perspective we're taking a look at how to express our heartfelt commitment to our soul mates, our wives, or our husbands as the case may be. Imagine; boy meets girl, she only speaks Swahili, he only speaks Japanese, they get married but they still can't speak one another's languages, what sort of a marriage are they going to have? Well there are two options; they either decide to learn one another's languages or things are going to fall apart because unless they learn to communicate, the frustration and the isolation would just tear them apart. That's how it is with different languages and love. Gary Chapman's written a great book called The Five Love Languages, the last couple of days we've looked at the first two of those, Words of Affirmation and Quality Time, today we're going to look at the third, Receiving Gifts. Anthropologists are a funny lot, they love to study human patterns of behaviour across different cultures, and in fact right down through history. And they look for common themes and patterns of behaviour. One of the most basic, one that appears in every culture is the notion that love is about giving. My hunch is that in the garden of Eden Adam used to go out looking for flowers for Eve and pick them, and give them to her, no doubt, and we know for a fact that she loved picking fruit for him to eat! Well I guess no one's perfect! So over the last few days we've looked at the first few languages of love that Chapman talks about in his book, The Five Love Languages. The first was Words of Affirmation. Some people's primary way of experiencing love is through words that other people say to them that affirm them. So a man who needs words of affirmation will need his wife to say, "Darling you look great in that suit. Darling, thank you so much for doing that." And a woman who needs words of affirmation will need exactly the same thing from her husband. The second of those was Quality Time. It's a happy buzz phrase isn't it? But quality time is more than just sitting in front of the box and just being in a safe space together. Quality time is focusing our attention exclusively on one another, and there are some people whose primary way of receiving love is through the knowledge that their husband or wife spends quality time with them. The third one, which is the one that we're going to look at today, is Receiving Gifts. Now a gift, I used to think, "Well how can someone experience love by receiving gifts, isn't that kind of tacky and cheap and materialistic?" Truly that's what I used to think. But when you think about it, a gift is something tangible. You can hold it in your hand, you can look at it and say "he loves me", or "wow she loves me" and you'll look at it again, and again, and again. It's a tangible tactile physical expression of the giving part about love, that thing that anthropologists discover is common to every culture that they've analysed. It's a symbol of a thought. We've heard the saying, "it's the thought that counts." It's not the actual gift, it's not how much it cost, it's the fact that the gift represents something and it represents love, or friendship, or whatever. So this visual symbol of love is more important to some people than it is to other people. Let me tell you about Berni. A gift to me will fail to express your love or your friendship to me precisely 100% of the time. If I never receive another gift in my life it'll be too soon. If nobody ever remembers my birthday again in my life it'll be too soon. When we were first married, Jacqui and I, Jacqui thought, "Ah I'll go and buy my husband a tie, or clothes, or aftershave," and I was absolutely horrified. I buy my own ties, I buy my own clothes, I buy my own aftershave. And Mum, my last birthday, she said "Berni what would you like for your birthday?" And I said "Truly Mum, give the money to charity, I just don't want a gift". So actually she gave a donation to the ministry of Christianityworks. For me gifts simply don't say I love you. Yet Melissa, our daughter, it's one of her two primary languages of love. Gifts are really important to her. When I went to India last year, she loves silver, and so I saw an Indian silver necklace and earrings, and I bought that for her. And at night time my wife Jacqui and I go for walks and we walked past this store that has this beautiful silver beaten jewellery and I'm always thinking and planning, "now I wonder which one of those I can get for Melissa's birthday". And just recently, last Christmas, one of the things that teenagers in her age group in her culture, all want, is they want an iPod, right, that's what's happening amongst young people today, she's 15. And so we saved up our money and bought her an iPod Nano. And on the back, if you buy them online on the Internet, they'll ...
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    9 m
  • Quality Time // The Five Love Languages, Part 2

    Quality Time // The Five Love Languages, Part 2
    Jan 20 2026
    He thinks he's doing a great job working hard, paying down the mortgage. But all she sees is that he never has time for her. He's working flat out, she's feeling unloved and it's all heading downhill fast. This week on A Different Perspective we're looking at how to communicate love between husband and wife. Actually you can apply it to any loving relationship. So often a wife and a husband well, they want to love one another but they just don't know how. It turns out that all to often they're talking different languages. He gives her flowers but all she wants is his attention; she want to spend time with him when he's dying inside because all he wants her to do is to stroke his cheek. These things are so deep; they're so buried in our DNA that it even hurts to talk about these needs sometimes. That's why this week we're stepping our way through Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages. Because it's not enough for us to want to love our wives or our husbands, we need to know how, and today we're looking at Quality Time as the second of those five love languages. Time poor is the trendy expression at the moment. Time poor takes busy and elevates it to, "wow you're important because you're time poor." There are so many things, you know. There's work, and there's entertainment, there's housework, there's shopping and there's spending and there's traveling and there's the kids. And a lot of it, as we've looked at it on previous programs of A Different Perspective is about accumulating stuff. But stuff doesn't make us happy. We can go on a flash holiday and get there and still not be happy, you can spend as much money as you like on stuff, but it still wont make us happy because its relationships that bring us that satisfaction: relationship with God, relationship with husband and wife, relationship with family, relationship with friends. And these days it seems that just keeping our heads above water takes 99% of our time, and the other 1% we're so exhausted we've got no time for relationships, we've got no time to give anything. We're looking through that great book, and would encourage you to buy the book and read it because it is a really good book, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. The five love languages that he lists are: words of affirmation, which we looked at yesterday; quality time, which we're about to look at today; receiving gifts, which we'll look at tomorrow; acts of service, the next day; and finally on Friday, physical touch. And it turns out that for each one of us, one or maybe two of those are our primary love languages. In other words we need our wife or our husband, as the case may be, to speak their love into our lives using these languages. If my primary language is physical touch, which it is, then receiving gifts just never works for me. Or words of affirmation, I tell you I don't need them much, I need my wife to stroke my face and say "I love you" and that's how I experience her love, by and large. Sure we need all of those things, but we're coming down to what's the primary way in which each one of us experiences love, takes it in. Now when we look today at quality time. Quality time is not about being in the same place together. You can be in the same place with your husband or wife but not have quality time because quality time speaks about attention. It speaks about focus. A woman can be just yearning to have that undivided attention of her husband and he thinks "Ah I'll buy her some roses, that'll do it!" As though some how quality time and roses are equivalent. They are not to someone whose primary way of assimilating love is by spending quality time with her husband. I'll let you in on a secret. I am not naturally good at quality time. It is not my primary love language, it is not what I do naturally. I'm a doer, I do stuff, I work hard then I rest, I'm a typical male specimen. I love to withdraw into myself and think and watch sport on television. Time is something that's there to be managed, I have a diary, I have a to do list. The first hint, early in our marriage where I knew something wasn't quite right, was when Jacqui sent "Don't you ever dare put me into your diary, I never want to see in your diary 'appointment with wife'!" I thought, "Why not, it seems perfectly logical to me, I have to manage my time. I put my wife in there at 4 o'clock to have a cup of coffee with her." It didn't work for Jacqui, turns out that quality time is one of her two primary love languages, acts of service is the other, we'll talk about that another day. And for her it means exactly what I just talked about, it means focus, it means conversation, it means attention. And unless she receives my undivided attention she doesn't feel loved. Can you see the explosive potential of this, I am outcome oriented, I'm your classic time poor guy who does lots of stuff, and this guy meets this girl who just wants to spend time with him, and his answer is to schedule the time in his ...
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    10 m
  • Words of Affirmation // The Five Love Languages, Part 1

    Words of Affirmation // The Five Love Languages, Part 1
    Jan 19 2026
    Mark Twain once said "I can live for two months on a good compliment". It's true, when people affirm us and encourage us – it somehow builds us up on the inside. Another new week. You know last week on A Different Perspective we went on a bit of a journey to look at how we can have the kind of marriage that we were meant to have. I guess we looked at some of the really important foundation stones to a great marriage and if you missed those programs I'll let you know at the end of this program how you can listen to them again. This week we're going to build on those foundations by looking at how to speak the language of love to our wives or our husbands, a language that they can actually understand. A man, by the name of Gary Chapman has written a book, it's a great book called The Five Love Languages, in which he points out that too often husband and wife are actually speaking different love languages without even realising they're doing it. That leads to hurt and frustration and anger and a sense that "Oh, my husband doesn't love me, or my wife doesn't love me." So what are the five love languages, and why are they important? Well in his book Gary Chapman says there are five different basic languages of love and these are the five that he lists: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. So the first one again is words of affirmation, affirming each other through what we say. The second one is spending quality time together, isn't that a happening phrase! The third one is receiving gifts, the forth, acts of service, the fifth, physical touch. Think about it, we all need all of those things in a loving relationship, after all what would quality time between a husband and wife be without some encouraging words or physical touch. But it turns out that for most of us there are one or two out of those five that are the primary ways in which we perceive that our soul mate is expressing love to us. Me, I'm odd because I'm not really a touchy feely person yet physical touch is my primary love language. (we'll talk about that in a few days time) But if my wife Jacqui doesn't touch me all day, I don't feel loved, and she can say "I love you" as many times as she likes but it doesn't feel like it to me unless she touches me. For Jacqui its acts of service, that's who she is, she's hard wired that way. She loves serving other people, that's how she naturally expresses her love. Now imagine we don't ever realise that, imagine we get married and we live our lives and we never realise that about each other. How do you think the marriage would go? How do you think it would pan out over the years? Well the answer is, not so well, because if my primary love language is touch then the natural thing that I will do is to express my love that way to my wife, but if her primary love language is acts of service, if I all I ever do is express my love by touching her and never serving her, the chances are she'll never feel as though I'm saying I love her. And it's the same with me, if she thinks she can express her love to me just by serving me, because that's what she does naturally, she's great at it, she does it with me, she does it with all sorts of people, everyone she meets. She's just a person who loves to serve. But if she thinks that she can express all of her love that way to me and not understand that what I really need is that touch which says "I love you," in my language, she's never going to say I love you in a language that I can understand. So it's important, not only to understand what is it that I need my partner to say to me or do to me, so that I experience their love in a way that makes sense to me, but more important than that is to understand our spouses language and to learn to express our love in a way that they can receive it. You know something, that's not easy, and some days it doesn't feel natural. And over the course of this week we're going to look at those different love languages, starting today with words of affirmation, and I guess just share some practical insights and tips and stuff that I've experienced along the way. And my heart is that as we do that God will speak His grace and His love into your life, into your marriage. And if you're not married, maybe you know someone who needs to hear these things and you can share with them the good news that marriage is a blessing from God. Marriage was God's idea in the first place, it's supposed to be wonderful. Not perfect everyday, not easy everyday, but it's supposed to be a wonderful union and experience between husband and wife. Well let's begin today with words of affirmation. King Solomon, one of the Kings of Israel, way back in the book of Proverbs in the wisdom literature of the Old Testament. He wrote this, he said, The tongue has the power of life and death, reckless words are like a sword but the tongue of the wise brings healing. We do say that sticks and stones might break our bones...
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    10 m
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