​Sonja Lyubomirsky​ is one of the most influential happiness researchers of our time.

Sonja moved to the United States from Moscow at age 9 in the 70s. She went to Harvard and Stanford in the 80s and began studying happiness in 1989 ... longer than almost anyone else alive! Positive psychology wasn't "founded" by ​Martin Seligman​ and ​Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi​ for another decade.

Sonja has published hundreds of papers including her ​Most Cited 2005 paper​ which defined the field by flipping a long-held assumption on its head: That happiness doesn't follow success but causes it.

Sonja is now following up her bestsellers '​The How of Happiness​' and '​The Myths Of Happiness​' with a new book called '​How to Feel Loved​', a joint effort co-written with relationship expert ​Dr. Harry Reis​, which is a culmination of 30 years of research that all point to one central truth: that feeling loved (not just being loved!) is a crucial ingredient of happiness.

In this conversation we talk about the four horsemen that can ruin a marriage, what MDMA does to our brains, why small talk doesn't build connection, the best advice for dating, how our brains respond to love, the single best way to feel happier today, and, of course, the eminent Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky's 3 most formative books.

Let's flip the page to Chapter 158 now...

A few years ago I was in LA and I went with my friend Chad to a "Judd Apatow and friends" comedy show where I was blown away by the lineup he brought out. Ray Romano! Zach Galifianakis! And, of course, the incredible Pete Holmes.

Pete was my favorite comic that night. I have loved his comedy for years! And his book '​Comedy Sex God​' was a wonderful read. My parents are Hindu but I grew up in the secular suburbs of Toronto being exposed to many different religions. Pete was very religious, and then wasn't, and now is again ... in this thoughtful, examining, spiritual way. His book, which is essentially his memoir, chronicles his journey through faith with lots of laughs and his trademark mind-expanding insights along the way.

Pete's podcast ​You Made It Weird​ is a comedic exploration of the meaning of life, with guests ranging from ​Ryan Holiday​ to ​Mayim Bialik​ to ​Ben Stiller​.

Pete also starred in the HBO show ​Crashing​ which he executive produced with Judd Apatow. And, big news, he is currently touring! He's in ​Miami​, ​LA​, ​Royal Oaks​, ​Irving​, ​Madison​, and ​Denver​ before the summer.

Check out his comedy specials: ​Impregnated with Wonder​ (2011), ​Nice Try, The Devil​ (2013), ​Faces and Sounds​ (2016), ​Dirty Clean​ (2018), and ​I Am Not For Everyone​ (2023).

So flip the page back to Chapter 40 of 3 Books and talk about why we withhold love, why myths are always true and sometimes really happen, why our brains want certainty but our hearts are comfortable with mystery, the salty sweet conundrum of life, and, of course, Pete's 3 most formative books.

I hope you enjoy this classic chapter with Pete Holmes.

Paul Hawken is a brilliant thinker, author, activist, and elder who masterfully distills wisdom about our planetary home.

I remember hearing Paul's 2009 commencement speech called "​You Are Brilliant and The Earth is Hiring​" where he said "You are going to have to figure out what it means to be a human being on Earth at a time when every living system is declining and the rate of decline is accelerating."

Paul is the author of nine bestselling books including '​Drawdown​', '​Regeneration​', and his latest book '​Carbon, The Book of Life​'—an incredible book that came out in 2025 and masterfully distills endless planetary wisdom into simple truths we all need to hear. (I included it in '​The Very Best Books I Read in 2025​.')

Grab a seat between us and let's talk about how nature cooperates, why fighting climate change is the wrong metaphor, why the climate crisis is a human crisis, how jargon disconnects, and what decades of activism have taught Paul about being human.

This conversation with a sage of sages stuck with me and I think it'll stick with you.

Let's flip the page into Chapter 157 now ...