#132: Can Nice Guys Finish First? with Scott Dunn

Can being "nice" at work actually hold you back? Join Brian and Scott Dunn as they unravel the myths around workplace "niceness," explore the balance between kindness and assertiveness, and reveal how honest communication can earn you respect—and maybe even that long-overdue promotion. Overview In this episode of the Agile Mentors Podcast, Brian and Scott dig deep into the question: Do nice guys (or gals) really finish last at work? They discuss the critical balance between being accommodating and assertive, why conflict can be a tool for growth, and how emotional intelligence plays into team dynamics. With stories, tips, and the psychological truths behind professional success, this episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to navigate workplace interactions while staying true to themselves. References and resources mentioned in the show: Scott Dunn Bill of Assertive Rights Elements of Agile Radical Candor Advanced Certified ScrumMaster® Subscribe to the Agile Mentors Podcast Want to get involved? This show is designed for you, and we’d love your input. Enjoyed what you heard today? Please leave a rating and a review. It really helps, and we read every single one.Got an Agile subject you’d like us to discuss or a question that needs an answer? Share your thoughts with us at [e-mail] This episode’s presenters are: Brian Milner is SVP of coaching and training at Mountain Goat Software. He's passionate about making a difference in people's day-to-day work, influenced by his own experience of transitioning to Scrum and seeing improvements in work/life balance, honesty, respect, and the quality of work. Scott Dunn is a Certified Enterprise Coach and Scrum Trainer with over 20 years of experience coaching and training companies like NASA, EMC/Dell Technologies, Yahoo!, Technicolor, and eBay to transition to an agile approach using Scrum. Auto-generated Transcript: Brian (00:00) Welcome in Agile Mentors. We're back and we're here for another episode of the Agile Mentors podcast. I'm with you as always, Brian Milner. And today we have friend of the show, buddy of the show, Scott Dunn is back with us. Welcome in Scott. Scott (00:13) Hey Brian, great to be back as always. Love it. Brian (00:17) Love to have Scott on as always and if you've listened to some of the past episodes with him then you know why. If not, I encourage you to check it out after this episode. We wanted to have Scott on earlier this year just to talk about some things that might be percolating in a few people's heads with the turn of the year and kind of as you start to prepare and look forward and maybe even look back a little bit in things. And particularly deal with an issue around how people show up at work and Scott was saying to me earlier, kind of this phrase about, nice guys finish last? Do they finish first? Do they finish last? Can you be nice? Can you be nice at work and be promoted? Can you be nice at work and move upwards? Or do you have to not be nice? Scott (01:03) you Brian (01:11) in order to do that. So tell me a little bit about kind of the genesis of the idea from you, Scott. What have you been hearing or what's been crossing your path? Scott (01:17) Yeah, and I'm so glad we had a chance to talk about this because it's recent. So the first thing that sparked my thought on this, so granted in the leadership class, we talk about being a balance of accommodative and assertive, and I'll usually refer to a... a document called the Bill of Assertive Rights. And I was reading another book this week and actually it referenced the same thing. I thought, switching fast forward a few days and I'm doing an assessment with a company that's asked for help because they're not, they're struggling with quality, they're struggling with predictability. And I know what the leaders goals are for the efforts. And so now I'm meeting with all the team members to do an actual formal assessment for baseline. Now, and this assessment, you're going to go through, I don't know, 30, 40 questions. So it's not lightweight. It's trying to be tactical, like, Is the team well formed? Is the backlog in good shape? Do you have a roadmap? Are the leaders supporting the change? I mean, whether company level, product level, team level, and we even added some advanced questions. And the fascinating thing is over a course of all these questions, the answer was essentially, we're okay at that, right? If you ask them, are they doing this practice or not, they'd say, somewhat. And it didn't matter if it was the most basic thing at the team level or the most advanced thing at the corporate level, everything was okay. So when you look at the dashboard at the end, in our normal red, yellow, the whole thing was yellow. And so I just paused and said, you know, I've never seen this before. I said, yeah, I joke with them a little bit about that, but I said, you know, my friends kind of think about it. It actually doesn't make sense that ...