028: Belonging vs Fitting In and the Cost of Editing Yourself

Please Follow Us on Instagram: instagram.com/rootedandrehumanizing

In this episode, Jillian and Meg explore the subtle and often invisible ways we edit ourselves to feel safe, accepted, or seen, and the emotional, relational, and energetic cost of doing so.

What begins as Jillian sharing a deeply personal realization unfolds into a conversation about belonging versus fitting in, nervous system safety, code switching, and how our earliest experiences shape the way we show up in the world. Together, they reflect on childhood conditioning, family dynamics, politics, and leadership, and how learning to belong to yourself changes everything.

This episode invites listeners to consider where they may be compromising who they are, not because the world asked them to, but because it once felt safer to do so.

We explore:

• What we compromise in ourselves to feel safe being seen

• The difference between fitting in and true belonging

• How code switching signals nervous system unsafety

• Why belonging starts with self exploration and self trust

• Parenting, modeling authenticity, and nervous system safety in children

• Why bridging divides often requires standing alone

• How love and self belonging create steadiness in a divided world

Journaling prompts from this episode:

• Who am I, really?

• Do I love myself as I am today?

• Where do I feel safest being fully me?

• Where might I gently stretch my sense of safety without true risk?

Brene Brown Quotes:

1. On Fitting In vs. Belonging: "Fitting in is one of the greatest barriers to belonging. Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be in order to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn't require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are".
2. The Core Definition: "True belonging is the spiritual practice of believing in and belonging to yourself so deeply that you can share your most authentic self with the world and find sacredness in both being a part of something and standing alone in the wilderness".
3. “People are hard to hate close up, move in”

We Would Love to Connect With You

Your reflections, questions, and lived experiences mean so much to us.

If this episode resonates, please share it, leave a review, or reach out.

Connect with Jillian

Website: https://trellissuite.com/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jillian-pezet-trellis/

Email: [e-mail]

Connect with Meg

Website: www.profoundwellness.net

Email: [e-mail]

Facebook: facebook.com/megan.fikse

Instagram: instagram.com/m.laidlaw

Meg’s Offerings

1. Heart Math BioFeedback Device: