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You Don't Look Adopted

Narrated by: Anne Heffron
Length: 5 hrs and 55 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (9 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Can writing your story save your life?
 

I should have come with a manual. My parents thought they were getting one thing when they adopted me - a baby of their own - when what they got was a human being with a story of her own.
 

As a child, I traded safety for silence.
 

As an adult, I had no idea who I was, why I quit nearly everything I started, why I struggled with things that came more easily to my friends (jobs, relationships, finances, self-esteem), why I seemed hell-bent on throwing myself away.
 

It got to the point where I didn’t care if telling my story was going to kill me: I was going to find a way to tell it, because living a life that felt like a lie was unbearable.
 

In order to write this book, I moved away from everything I knew, maxed out my credit cards, borrowed from friends and family, had lots of sex with strangers. Nearly penniless, I was living like a millionaire in the apartment of a fabulously famous writer. I was finally listening to my own voice. I ate cheesecake for dinner and fell in love with the East Village. I broke almost every rule I ran into because I was afraid this kind of freedom couldn’t go on forever. As I wrote, I lived every day as if it were my last.

I was in for such a surprise.

©2018 Anne Heffron (P)2019 Anne Heffron

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Courageous and raw

I too am an adoptee of the closed records era. The secrecy and shame embedded in us from the time of conception has lifelong consequences. Only nobody talks about it. Not our parents. Not our siblings. Not our neighbors. Not our teachers. But it’s always there, sometimes screaming from the rooftops and other times in the silent complacency. Anne’s raw and honest look at her life “talks about it” giving a voice to so many adoptees who, like myself, thought i was the only one confused about life.

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An adoption story of both beauty and suffering

Anne Hefron’s words and descriptions of what it feels like to be adopted is the closest depiction I’ve ever had the pleasure of both reading, and now listening to on Audible. I can’t thank the author enough for giving life to her story and sharing it with us all. Adopted or not, this honest account of the search for self is real and heartbreakingly beautiful. I loved hearing Anne narrate her own story.

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Inspiring and raw

Anne tells her story and shares her inner-most thoughts and feelings so profoundly. I learned a lot listening to this book and it gave me much to think about in understanding how an adopted person can truly feel; things I'd never considered before. It clearly took courage to tell her story with such authenticity and candor. Thanks for sharing your story, Anne. I believe it will help others in similar circumstances. Nice work!

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The Adoptee Voice MUST be heard

Ms Heffron reads her writing masterfully and with emotional depth. This book is the pinnacle of truth of the adoptee's lived experience. A must read for all human beings to gain insight and to better understand adoptees with compassion

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5 hours I will never get back.

I too am from a closed adoption. I too have struggled with the lack of understanding others have about me and what it means to be adopted. But I never fucked around with married men in parking lots to try to feel better about myself. We get it Anne, you are not responsible for anything because you are adopted. Any valid points made about being adopted are lost in Anne’s Eyore-esque droning voice about how she makes one stupid choice after another because she is adopted. Too pretentious, privileged and indulgent, especially near then end where

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  • Anonymous User
  • 01-22-20

Amazingly written and honest book

Thank you Anne for sharing your story. As a fellow adult adoptee, I came across your book whilst on my journey of adoption trying to figure myself out and understand how adoption has impacted my life and will likely to always impact my life. Such a powerful, honest and thought provoking book, I recommend this to anybody, especially us adoptees, Thankyou 💖

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  • Rebecca C.
  • 11-26-19

Been waiting for something like this

My whole life I told myself and others I had no issue being adopted until a year ago (36 years old) and since then I have slowly allowed myself to see the truth. Your book has confirmed this. I don’t feel alone. Thankyou