You Don't Look Adopted

By: Anne Heffron

Narrated by: Anne Heffron

Length: 5 hrs and 55 mins

Publisher's summary

Can writing your story save your life?

I should have come with a manual. My parents thought they were getting one thing when they adopted me - a baby of their own - when what they got was a human being with a story of her own.

As a child, I traded safety for silence.

As an adult, I had no idea who I was, why I quit nearly everything I started, why I struggled with things that came more easily to my friends (jobs, relationships, finances, self-esteem), why I seemed hell-bent on throwing myself away.

It got to the point where I didn’t care if telling my story was going to kill me: I was going to find a way to tell it, because living a life that felt like a lie was unbearable.

In order to write this book, I moved away from everything I knew, maxed out my credit cards, borrowed from friends and family, had lots of sex with strangers. Nearly penniless, I was living like a millionaire in the apartment of a fabulously famous writer. I was finally listening to my own voice. I ate cheesecake for dinner and fell in love with the East Village. I broke almost every rule I ran into because I was afraid this kind of freedom couldn’t go on forever. As I wrote, I lived every day as if it were my last.

I was in for such a surprise.

©2018 Anne Heffron (P)2019 Anne Heffron

It's a wonderful, well written book.

This book for me resonated with me as I am also adopted. She wrote her story raw and truthfully and left it in that form for those who needed to hear it, and it has been healing for me. This book can also help people who aren't adopted have a window into the thought processes of an adopted person, and see some of the challenges we face.

Anne Heffron has found her voice. Hear her.

Just today a birth mother told me her long lost daughter brought her to tears by saying she "felt like an air fern," rootless, suspended.

Anne Heffron gives voice not just to herself but to millions of rootless children, adoptees, orphans and foster kids alike. These lost children are all growing old in a suspended state, fumbling frantically to grasp an identity that seems grounded and true.

Ms. Heffron manages to hold her biological mother and father as well as her adopted mom and dad in a space of compassion, while remaining true to herself, the lost foundling. For an adoptee, this is the most difficult place, profoundly traumatized but refusing to blame a villain or play the victim. She speaks her truth. She is entitled to be heard.

The Adoptee Voice MUST be heard

Ms Heffron reads her writing masterfully and with emotional depth. This book is the pinnacle of truth of the adoptee's lived experience. A must read for all human beings to gain insight and to better understand adoptees with compassion

Tears, anger, laughter, disgust, joy

Tears, anger, laughter, disgust, joy…. This book brought me through all of those. My world is completely different than the author's. We'd share little in common beyond being adopted. Yet the the thoughts and feelings are a common thread among every adopted person I've ever known and I unraveled layer upon layer of my own experience throughout this book.

Validation, finally

Thank you for this book. I finally feel validated and am comforted with the knowledge that I’m not the only one who feels this way. I recognized myself in many of the passages.

Thank you.

My daughters are adopted . This shines a light into their hearts and the storm that always seems to be brewing . Thank you.

Thank you

Thank you for sharing your story, It’s raw and powerful as a Birthmom I really appreciate your vulnerability!!

A must-listen for everyone affected by adoption

Anne has skillfully captured what plenary adoption feels like for countless adoptees, particularly those of us from the Baby Scoop Era. Her narration drives it home.

Her Pain

Deep feelings and beautifully written. I read the book and listened to the audio. Adoption is hard and she shows it in her memoir

Inspiring and raw

Anne tells her story and shares her inner-most thoughts and feelings so profoundly. I learned a lot listening to this book and it gave me much to think about in understanding how an adopted person can truly feel; things I'd never considered before. It clearly took courage to tell her story with such authenticity and candor. Thanks for sharing your story, Anne. I believe it will help others in similar circumstances. Nice work!