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Women Who Love Too Much

When You Keep Wishing and Hoping He'll Change
Narrated by: Ellen Archer
Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (861 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Is having 'somebody to love' the most important thing in your life? Do you constantly believe that with 'the right man' you would no longer feel depressed or lonely? Are you bored with 'nice guys' who are open, honest, and dependable? If being in love means being in pain, this book was written for you. Therapist Robin Norwood describes loving too much as a pattern of thoughts and behavior, which certain women develop as a response to problems from childhood.

Many women find themselves repeatedly drawn into unhappy and destructive relationships with men. They then struggle to make these doomed relationships work. This best-selling book takes a hard look at how powerfully addictive these unhealthy relationships are - but also gives a very specific program for recovery from the disease of loving too much.

©1985 Robin Norwood (P)2012 Penguin Audiobooks

What members say

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Offers recovery steps.

This should be the second book each codependent woman can read. The first is codependent no more. This book thought me 9 good practical steps to recovery. However the first step should be that you have decided that you don't want to be where you are anymore. Next learn about anxious attachment style . Stop trying to help the irresponsible people around you and become the most selfish woman ever. Then welcome yourself to your new happy life.

28 of 28 people found this review helpful

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Life-changing

I have read many of the great works of philosophy and literature of Western culture, but no book has had a greater impact on my practical life and on my ideas about what it is to be a woman than Women Who Love Too Much. I feel I have just been born and have a chance to live a completely different life, in which I will for the first time be able to put myself, and not some undeserving man, in first place. This is a must-read for all women, especially those of us who find our lives impaired by loving too much. I cannot think of a single girlfriend of mine who wouldn't benefit tremendously from this read. The audio version is terrific. I am about to start listening to it a second time to make sure the ideas stay fresh im my mind. I feel very grateful that this book found me and dread to think of what would have been of my life otherwise.

13 of 13 people found this review helpful

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  • Cary
  • Gardena, CA USA
  • 07-17-15

Very very informative

I love this book!! AS a man who has been in a relationship with a woman who loves too much, and I myself loving too much, this book has helped me confirm the cycle, and gave multiple examples of how to stop the chaos, and start living my life, instead of what she wants, and for me to stop any form of manipulation. this book should be read by anyone, man or woman, that feels trapped and disgusted in their current relationships. I related to many of the people, though I never had substance abuse problems, or did anything unlawful. however the feelings and emotions expressed were identical to the sickness of Loving too much.

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

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way more helpful than i thought it would be

i had no idea how much of an intrinsic problem it was for my whole perspective on relationships to be faulty. i recommend this book to anyone who tries so hard to be perfect for the man in your life and can never succeed. Who contines to try to fix an unfixable problem. Who tries to keep everyone happy in their life all of the time. This book helped me realize the patterns I have created and how to start acknowledging them and trying to get out of being stuck never being enough for someone else. good luck

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

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Beautifully done

This was a book that I will put into practice and revisit when needed. It caused me to really take a look at myself and my pattern of destructive relationships. Definitely life-changing for those women who are ready for recovery.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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game changer

book has been a significant to on helping me to understand myself and to have healthy relationships with the persons around me I truly enjoyed this and recommend it to a lot of people I know

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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Finally Understand Why I Hurt So Much

If you could sum up Women Who Love Too Much in three words, what would they be?

Thanks to this book, I know what I need to do to get help.

What other book might you compare Women Who Love Too Much to and why?

Any other books on codependency recovery

Which character – as performed by Ellen Archer – was your favorite?

No favoirte. All was good.

What did you learn from Women Who Love Too Much that you would use in your daily life?

Continue christian growth

Any additional comments?

I now have hope for a better future.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Gail
  • jackson, NJ, United States
  • 09-28-13

Life Altering!

My headline says it all. This book changed the way I look at everything.

5 of 6 people found this review helpful

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Mind blown

I turned to this book when all of my unhealthy relationships had abruptly come to an end, or I ended them after seeing how excessively I had a role in the demise and decided I wanted something more out of life. I’m almost done with the book. I’m scared for what’s ahead but relieved I chose this book because it couldn’t have been more perfect for my current circumstance. Definitely a must read/listen to if you think the title relates to you in any way at all. Chances are, it does and you need to hear it too. Good luck.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Codependents Beware

If you are confused as to why your beloved isn’t able to see and appreciate all that you do for him and is not grateful for all the ways that you have shown him love and how much you have sacrificed for him then perhaps, like me, you may love too much. I thought surely that once through this (never ending) crisis that we would be happy and that eventually all that I have done would be enough to prove my loyalty and devotion and that my beloved would relax into my arms, look into my eyes with adoration and we would go hand in hand into our golden years together feeling proud of ourselves for all we have created in our lives, our family, our marriage, and with the gratification of each of us expressing our own unique gifts and talents with the admiration and support of the other. Except: that’s not how loving too much works. If instead you have fights that you seem to know are coming like dark clouds drifting towards you on a barren landscape and yet you cannot escape the pending storm or if you find yourself not wanting to ask if you can go somewhere or do something because of the criticism and lack of support from your partner, or if you are tired of anticipating others needs and realize yours aren’t being considered at all... maybe you are loving too much too. If you are, this book is for you. I’m not able live in denial any longer after reading this. So codependents, Beware! After reading this with an open mind, your life will change. You will find hope and direction and clarity and the sun will shine in your life and in your heart again!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Samantha croker
  • 02-07-15

Brilliant

A must read for any woman who feels like she's never gunna find the right way forward when it comes to men. More importantly it teaches you the path to guide you if you wish to change the pattern of relationships when they are not healthy, not doing you any good. Makes you take a look at yourself and I'm so glad I read this.., !! :)

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Freya
  • 12-12-17

Life changing for me

This book is one of those books that I will quote as being influential in changing the way I think. My impulse is to buy several copies and give them to friends & family! Beautifully written & spoken. I will listen to this more than once, a rarity for me.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • C. M. White
  • 11-03-17

So accurate

I have recently come out of an abusive relationship with a narcissist and have found this book incredibly helpful in understanding the dynamics that led to such a relationship. It does not seek to blame anyone but yet empowers the reader to examine their childhood and the reasons for their relationship choices. I loved it.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Susan
  • 01-01-16

excellence

before i read it I thought it was a waste of time listening/reading this book....how wrong I was, although my problems are not as deep as a lot of the examples ....ii still have issues/problems and this book hifhlighted them.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Anna
  • 09-27-15

My new Bible:)

It's like I just want to write "why I didn't discovered this book before? My life could be so different." But the truth is that before my all bad experience with men I probably would not be able to understand this book at all 'cause I wasn't ready. After my last heartbreak which cost me almost my life I knew I need help because I thought something is wrong with me. Reading this book (or listening in this case) is eyes opening experience . Now I understand and I'm ready to recover.
So if you are here, reading this now and considering to get this book for yourself, you are probably ready too. Go for it.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 06-07-19

Fantastic!🌸

If you do one thing in your life, read this book! It changes everything! You will understand your feelings and behaviors on such a deep level that it transforms your thinking and acting. The first chapters made me really angry because they were so true on about why we act the way we do and that it is for numbing our pain and that we unconsciously recreate childhood patterns. The healthy relating is unknown for us and we act and think automatically as we’ve always done. The many examples really speaks to the heart and gets you thinking. There is so much hope in this book. You will recognize a lot of things in yourself. Healing and getting better is 100% possible. Reading this book is a big step in your recovery❤️❤️

Thank you for this book❣️

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  • Amanda
  • 06-01-19

One Word.......Wow!

I’ve just finished listening to this book. It’s a truly amazing insight into relationships that women have with men. It’s title is not literal really but the author does explain it’s meaning early on. I found it interesting that I fell into some of the categories that I hadn’t expected to yet found it very helpful at the same time but also uncomfortable at other times.

I would recommend this book to any woman, or man for that matter, who has always struggled with intimate relationships,as I found the content could apply to men as much as to women. If you’re currently seeing a therapist/ counsellor for self esteem/ self worth/ trust issues then this book is a good read as it deals with childhood in terms of parents as role models and how this influences adulthood relationships.My counsellor was very impressed that I’d chosen this book as it was one she would have recommended to me at a later point in time.

The narrator’s voice I found easy to listen to as she speaks clearly.(especially useful if you have hearing problems or listen to the book whilst driving on hands free)

To conclude, this is a great book that is easy to understand and follow without having to refer to diagrams on a website. It is a book that I will probably refer back to from time to time in the future, especially the latter chapters.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-19-19

Absolutely fantastic boom

loved this book - I cant see this not appealing to any woman out there

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 05-01-19

helps to clarify alot and give<br /> self realization

it's helps to realise what I may need to deal with in my life
very useful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 04-13-19

For every female out there.

Very insightful and puts a lot of things into perspective. This book gives great examples of how suffering can be passed down through generations and and the importance to break the cycle.

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  • Michelle Bird
  • 03-17-19

Best book I’ve ever read

It really helps you to understand yourself, why you do what you do, what happened as a child influences why you choose that man, unhealthy relationships, and steps to overcome your thinking.

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  • Dee
  • 02-06-18

Wow! Life changing!

I listened to the first chapter and was hooked! Everything Robin explained was completely relatable. After my own experience's of seeing the same negative behaviour patterns in multiple relationships with men. l wish I had found this book yearshe ago!!!!

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  • louise
  • 11-19-17

An amazing opportunity to reflect on relationships

Highly recommended if you are in an unhappy relationship, going through a break up, or frustrated with not finding the 'right' man.

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  • Pavlina
  • 03-19-17

My new Bible

Where does Women Who Love Too Much rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Essentials

What did you like best about this story?

I saw myself in it

Have you listened to any of Ellen Archer’s other performances? How does this one compare?

No

If you made a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

Using relationships as distractions so you don't have to deal with yourself.

Any additional comments?

Really great book

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  • ieva
  • 12-20-16

Life changing

I highly recommend this book. It helped me look at my self and relationships in my life from completely different perspective.