Why Mummy Doesn’t Give a ****!

By: Gill Sims

Narrated by: Gabrielle Glaister

Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins

Publisher's summary

Family begins with a capital eff.

'I’m wondering how many more f*cking "phases" I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me "it’s just a phase!" for the last 15 bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is "just a phase". Potty training and the associated accidents "is just a phase". The tantrums of the terrible twos are "just a phase". The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1 p.m. without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All "just phases"! When do the "phases" end, though? When?'

Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight - a dragon badger or a ninja horse - they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts - except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.

©2019 Gill Sims (P)2019 HarperCollins Publishers Limited

Critic reviews

“God, she’s funny.” (Jilly Cooper)

“Honest and very funny - it’s a tale that mums will identify with.” (The Sun)

“Sims’s latest offering is a hilarious follow-up to her best-selling debut...you’d be forgiven for thinking the blogger behind Peter and Jane couldn’t pull it off twice - but she has.” (The Sunday Post) 

Not At All As Entertaining As Her First Book

Gill Sims has jumped the shark with this book. It bears very little resemblance to Why Mummy Drinks. While that novel - her first - was really uproariously clever, funny, and populated by a variety of entertaining characters ... this one is simply one long, tedious bundle of complaints and negativity. Yes, there are laugh out loud moments that remind the reader of how hilarious Sims can be - but these are few and far between.

None of the characters are likable, and the daughter is particularly odious. Yet Sims justifies every obnoxious behavior as "typical teen" ... and spends far too much time rambling on and on as to why this behavior is to be expected. Underaged drinking, foul attitude, condescension ... it's all OK because, after all, teens are simply trying to sort out their lives. In one bizarre episode, she actually supplies her daughter and friends with multiple rounds of hard cider. Sims makes several off-putting and detailed allusions to the 13-yr-old son's masturbatory sessions. Please. No. Why?!

Finally, the behavior of the protagonist herself is absurd and off-putting.

The entire book is one scene after another of unlikable characters interacting unpleasantly, interspersed with the afore-mentioned rambles on reprehensible teen behavior that she considers age-appropriate.

Sims needs to stop here. This trilogy has overstayed its welcome.

OMFG !!!!😍

I absolutely love this book! ❣️🍷The author is a wonderful breath of fresh air, she has an amazing way of putting life into perspective all the while telling it like it actually is , the ups n downs , parenting, marriage,
divorce, it’s all right here within these pages, without a care she lays it all out there , and I do believe in a manner in which most women can relate, I most certainly can!! I will be purchasing her other books , as I was quite sad when this one ended , I can’t get enough of her wit, her style of writing, along with the narrator this book is definitely worth more than 5 stars 🌟 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
As a side note if one is put off by the use of swear words then this book is not one you’d enjoy.

Not as good as the first

Well written and performed but just gets a bit too “woe is me” by the main character at times. Worth a listen

I've never reviewed a book before, but....

I absolutely loved this story!! At one part, I laughed so hard, I shot tea out of my nose. I even cried once. This is my new favorite book!

More to this than the title suggests

This is not something I would normally pick. Yummy Mummy types are not my style. However there is much truth and insight in this. As our heroine survives a year which involves, divorce, a house move and a bereavement with two teenagers in tow. The language was ripe, but natural, some of the rants and observations were laugh out loud funny. The smell of teenage boys and the trauma of buying school uniform definitely struck a chord, and if that sounds dull you are not a Mum!
As someone who has been in a similar situation it made me laugh and that give me hope.

I am actually CRYING this has finished!♥️💯♥️WOW WOW WOW

I am DEVASTATED that i have finished this whole series! I am gutted that my journey with this amazing brilliant narrator aswell as an amazing brilliant author! It is hilarious beyond words truly! Also very true to life😂 I cried sad tears too! One minute i was laughing because it was hysterical and then next it hit a few nerves of truth for me♥️i am so so so sad im finished all of these books💔💔💔please please make some more 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽thank you for an amazing journey!🥰♥️💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯♥️

could listen over and over

im sure this author lives in my head and my house. her humourous and honest look at adulting and parenting make us feel normal and have helped me to realise none of us have a clue what we are doing but that we cam laugh at our own fails.
superb superb superb.

Great book

Loved it, definitely relatable with a parent to teenagers can't wait for the next one,

Hilarious!

Very funny look at life.
Light hearted and easy to listen to. Book 3 in the series.

Not as good as I thought

Read the Summary & loved the sound of it then I bought it & well I listened to it for about 5/10 minutes & got bored of it

Laughter

... so funny and relatable to, left me giggling on the beach with my headphones in much to the mirth of those around when I burst out laughing!

Really funny

Great book, I cried, I laughted, I really enjoyed it. Definitevly one of the best books I've ever read.

The best in the series

I read this book last year and loved it, a year on and I am slightly less in love with it, it is however worth a listen. Laugh out loud moments, Ellen is in a better place and a nicer person, there’s a sadness and endings in this instalment but also rediscovery, fun and laughter. It resonates with me having children of a similar age. I really don’t like the narration, it’s a bit flat and Gabrielle Glaister just doesn’t sound like the “Ellen” in my head. I think I like Ellen less than I did when I read the books because of the delivery but it isn’t bad enough to put a listener off, it’s just not a book I think I will listen to again often.

Another fabulous book!!

Didn’t want it to end! You don’t have to be. A mum to read these hilarious books .