Why Marriages Succeed or Fail

And How You Can Make Yours Last

By: John M. Gottman

Narrated by: Paul Costanzo

Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins

Publisher's summary

Psychologist John Gottman has spent twenty years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage. You'll also learn:

• More sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage
• Frequent arguing will not lead to divorce
• Financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship
• Wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years
• There is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments- and there's a way around it

Dr. Gottman tells you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage - contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling - and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how.

Download the accompanying reference guide.

©1994 John Gottman (P)2012 Tantor

Critic reviews

"There's plenty of old-fashioned, helpful, and worthwhile advice here about gender differences, realistic expectations, love, and respect." ( Kirkus)

Gottman is gdeat

John Hoffman gives real life applicable strategies off his research. I've known and studied him in the past. But now I'm my good relationship that has normal challenges I have coping mechanisms I didn't have prior. I recommend this!

Great reading excellent information

This is a great resource of information for marital couples. I will read again and pass it on to others.

Narrator is blah

Great book. A couple points I don't agree with, but overall there is a lot to take away. The downfall for the audio book is the narrator. He sounds like a computer and is not the right person to narrate conversations that couples have.

Perspective from a divorcee

Definitely put a different outlook on my failed marriage; however, it lead to better things. Now using the book for the betterment any future relationship. Definitely worth reading for anybody who is contemplating or has been divorced. Or anyone who just needs to strengthen their marriage.

Talked mostly about positive 5/1

Very repetitive could have be shorter got kind of the same thing to many times

Sizing up your marriage

Dr Gottman is wonderful about putting everyday trials of marriage into manageable struggles. If you fight with your spouse constantly, read this book. If you feel your spouse does not understand you, read this book. Don't wait till the divorce lawyers are in the picture to look for help!

Oh That's Why!!!!

I have learned valuable information and gained so much understanding from this book. Puzzles I have had for years have come to form a more complete picture. I can see in what way I caused so much stress to my exhusband now with my naturally volitile communication style. And I can now look for a man with a similar conflict resolution style with whom to enjoy lively, analytical discussions! Hoorah! I'm not an angry or disrespectful person just because I don't shy away from disagreements. It's just a different style that not everyone likes in a spouse but some, like me, really do. Through this book, this abstract thought of wanting someone more like me has focused and solidified into a concrete concept with easily understood terms. Yay! I'm not a negative, critical, or judgemental person just because I voice to my complaints and love to sometimes take meaning apart to discover what makes it tick. Fighting is not wrong. It's apart of life. Let's just keep it in the ring and above the belt. I totally ate up the concepts in this book on how to not fight dirty. The 4 horsemen are easy to remember and I'm excited to watch my interactions more closely more to make sure they don't creep in. This book is so inspirational. I love that he drew his conclusions from years of experiments rather than just observations with clients. And that he still brought specific examples up for readers to see more clearly what he was explaining.

Great content, delivery is a little stiff

This book will transform your relationships if you let it, but I thought the narrator was a bit robotic sounding and it was distracting until I got used to his style.

Required reading

Anyone remotely considering getting married should read this book.
I wish I had read it years ago.

Extremely Valuable Information

After studying the content of this book and applying its principles in our marriage, we are firmly on the path to healing.