When Your Family Says No

By: Laya

Narrated by: Laya

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“A page turning story of love and betrayal, When Your Family Says No gives us a glimpse into what it is like to live in the secret world of religious orthodoxy where every movement and thought is controlled and governed. Laya Martinez’s voice is both tender and gripping. And, while her story has the power to break your heart, its greatest power lies in showing the reader that true grace and unconditional love arrive only when one has the strength to follow their own convictions. Don’t miss this memoir, it could change your life.”—Suzanne Kingsbury, critically acclaimed author of The Summer Fletcher Greel Loved Me

As early as she could remember, Laya Steinberg asked questions. She didn’t always ask them out loud or right away; instead, she observed the world around her and came to her own conclusions. It was this sharp intelligence and spirit that led her to her ultimate choice: breaking away from Jewish Orthodoxy to marry the love of her life.

Laya’s path was meant to be set in stone. She would be educated according to Orthodox tradition, accept the suitors her father chose for her, and promptly marry and have children as soon as possible. And then…everything changed when she met John. He, a non-Jewish man, would be the catalyst for a collision of worlds that would leave unforgettable scars in its wake.

When Your Family Says No is a tale of staggering loss, enduring love, and ultimately, reaching out with your own two hands to seize independence and freedom. This is a story for anyone who has ever dared to step out of line and defy expectations, reminding us that life can still be beautiful no matter how many unexpected turns it takes—if only we are brave enough to own our truth.

©2022 Laya Martinez (P)2025 Laya Martinez

A Deeply Moving, Courageous & Unforgettable Memoir

“When Your Family Says No” is one of those rare memoirs that stays with you long after it ends. I listened to the audiobook — exquisitely narrated by the author, Laya Martinez — and that alone adds an undeniable truth and emotional weight to the experience. Hearing her tell her own story makes every moment feel intimate, raw, and unmistakably real.

This is a beautiful, haunting, and deeply human story about breaking from the world you were born into to create the world you choose. Laya’s journey from the cloistered, rigid expectations of Orthodox Judaism to a life defined by love, independence, and self-determination is as heartbreaking as it is inspiring.

What I especially admired was Laya’s commitment to revisiting the source texts themselves. Instead of relying on layers of rabbinical interpretation — which can drift from the original meaning over generations — she opened the Torah and read what it actually said. Her discovery that many of the “laws” she was raised with were not literal commands (including teachings about marrying outside the faith) became a profound turning point. Some widely accepted prohibitions aren’t actually stated in the Torah at all, but are later rabbinic extrapolations shaped by subjectivity and tradition. Laya’s willingness to seek truth at the source is one of the bravest and most admirable threads in her story.

At its core, this memoir is a multi-generational tale of romance, loss, bravery, and the incredible price we sometimes pay to follow our hearts. It’s about a woman who refused to blindly accept tradition, who chose courage over fear, and who dared to believe that her life could be authored by her own convictions rather than dictated by dogma.

There are moments in this book — especially the unraveling of the family and the impossible choices imposed on Laya — that are painful to hear. Certain scenes (including those surrounding her mother’s funeral) are nearly unbearable in their cruelty. But the sadness is always balanced by grace, clarity, and a fierce commitment to truth.

What moved me most is how this book refuses to demonize or oversimplify. Instead, it reveals how love becomes distorted when filtered through control, fear, and fundamentalism. The memoir also offers a profound critique of indoctrination — how it breeds non-thinking, non-questioning, and conformity, and how escaping such a system requires tremendous bravery. Martinez writes with striking honesty about the long, difficult unlearning required to reclaim her inner voice, trust her own perceptions, and overcome the fear ingrained in her since childhood.

And yet — this is not just a story of pain. It is ultimately a story of becoming. A story about the beauty, freedom, and bittersweet rebirth that follows when you choose a life of your own making. The original song at the end, “Becoming,” captures it perfectly: “Becoming who I am means leaving who I was.”

This book is for anyone who has ever felt trapped by expectations, by family systems, by ideology, or by a version of themselves they were told they had to be. As Martinez writes in the epilogue, it is possible to create a life of one’s own choosing, no matter how much fear or conditioning stands in the way.

A deeply moving, courageous, and unforgettable memoir. Highly recommended — especially the audiobook!!!

The sacrifices we make in the name of religions

This book is thoughtfully written and thought-provoking. It is a testament to human strength and foibles.

Movie Material

I loved this book that I could not put down. It’s full of love with rich Romance. When Your Family Says No would be a great movie for all times.

a captivating story about overcoming fear and pursuing a life of your own.

I been diving into docu-series and memories on religious cults and religious upbringing. so this was a great addition. I have the paper back but hearing it from the authors own words just adds a more personal touch. you're not just listening to someone saying what's on a page you're listening to it directly from the person who lived and expiereanced it. from the outside world her story might feel.mundance and not interesting but to me it shows cases one of my biggest problems with modern organized religion. the weaponizing of it to force obedience and fear into children and the young. stripping away all freedom and self discovery. stripping away choice and the right to.love and to live life of your own choosing. what's also very heartening is the story she tells of what women are force to endore. and how the men control everything. basic things like a woman period cycle and menstruation to losing their virginity are seen as unpure almost. or at least thats how I interpreted it. its a very heart warming story. obviously from a technical side the audio could have been done cleaner maybe processed better. but the story and nessege is so strong that any technical audio concerns I have dont matter I just turn the volume up alittle.