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What Makes Love Last?

How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal
Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (444 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Dr. John Gottman, the country's preeminent researcher on marriage, is famous for his Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle where he deciphers the mysteries of human relationships through scientific research. His 35 years of exploration have earned him numerous awards, including from the National Institute of Mental Health, the American Psychological Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Now, Dr. Gottman offers surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: Trust. Dr. Gottman has developed a formula that precisely calculates any couple's loyalty level. The results determine a relationship's likely future, including the potential for one or both partners to stray.

What Makes Love Last? shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers". He describes how the outcome of "sliding door moments", small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected non-sexual ways that couples often betray each other.

What Makes Love Last? guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will help them repair and maintain any long-term, intimate romantic relationship.

©2012 John M Gottman, PhD, and Nan Silver (P)2012 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"The practical tools to evaluate current relationships and step-by-step methods for avoiding betrayal, repairing relationships heading toward crisis, or healing a relationship after a crisis will be useful to couples who want to look honestly at healing chronic hurts and improving the state of their relationship, and are ready for a system to help them." ( Publishers Weekly)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Really Good.

Where does What Makes Love Last? rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

I think What Makes Love Last is one of the best Marriage books I've read, and I've read quite a few. It takes a very scientific, results based approach with several specific examples of things you can do to improve your relationship. Be sure to follow the directions at the beginning of the audiobook to get the pdf companion.

17 of 17 people found this review helpful

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Hand it out to every engaged couple

What did you love best about What Makes Love Last??

This book is amazing - if you ever asked the question. This is the answer. Well written, well read - worth the buy. This book bundled with Hold me tight is all you need.

If you are single i recommend 'attached' however this is also a great book to have. '

What was one of the most memorable moments of What Makes Love Last??

Know when you are 'flooding' during an argument, and understand the horsemen.

What about Peter Berkrot’s performance did you like?

Enjoyable

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

The whole book has a lot of useful info.

Any additional comments?

Has some great info on affairs - I would also recommend 'Just Friends'

11 of 11 people found this review helpful

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The Key

What made the experience of listening to What Makes Love Last? the most enjoyable?

The insights - practical, profound - are marriage changing and life changing.

What did you like best about this story?

I immediately put to work the guidance on myself and with communicating with my wife, and there is a cloud of tension already lifting. We have hot spot topics that we typically avoid, to avoid arguing. But this book gave me a guide and the courage to open up that conversation, it happened lovingly and respectfully. It's a change I've been wishing for.

Any additional comments?

If you want to create more joy and connection in your marriage, regardless of being stuck in negative discontent or happy and content this book with bring you up. I give it my highest recommendation.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • David
  • San Jose, CA United States
  • 02-21-14

Very practical

Really interesting. I appreciate his research based approach. I particularly enjoyed learning more relationship recovery techniques. I also saw areas where I need to be more careful with my relationships. This was a very readable book. Of this genre, he lacks the underlying grand theory that you find in Harville Hendrix and others, but this is a much more practical approach.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Ocean
  • Portsmouth, NH, United States
  • 11-11-12

Worthwhile

Offers some great suggestions about how to keep your relationship healthy. I felt it was totall worth the time and money and would recommend it to anyone struggling with relationship issues or wanting to make a good relationship better. Even the best relationships can use advice about what to do to keep them that way.

6 of 7 people found this review helpful

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Read by Quagmire from Family Guy...

What made the experience of listening to What Makes Love Last? the most enjoyable?

Gottman is a seasoned expert on the subject of successful relationships.

What was one of the most memorable moments of What Makes Love Last??

The samples of dialogue between the therapist and various couples helped illustrate principles to me.

Did Peter Berkrot do a good job differentiating all the characters? How?

No :( His tone and inflection were the same for all samples of dialogue - but that's not really a big deal to me. What continually took me out of the book was how much he sounds like Quagmire from Family Guy.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

Want to know if you're going to get divorced? The answers are inside...

6 of 9 people found this review helpful

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excellent

loved it, didn't think i would like the scientific approach but it made so much sense and made me feel less crazy

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I’m still listening to audio

Where do you get the pdf to do exercises? Is it an extra cost? Still finishing so not full stars but so far good information

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good read.

I listened to this book in its entirety over about 3 days. It offers many real methods to avoid and repair mistakes made in relationships. Trust is key. However, while 1 partner can read this book and it can be great for self help, ultimately both partners need to acknowledge and support the ideas or the person trying will get worn out and the person not trying will continue to believe the other person is not trying hard enough. This book works best when both parties are committed to making it work.

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Best book for couples to heal & grow

Loved it. Brilliant, well researched. Author is clearly a leading expert in the field. Heartfelt & informative.

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  • Andrew Choflet
  • 11-17-18

Amazing research, but academic

I loved the scientific rigor and case studies that were presented! Each piece was deep, clearly based in research, told a story as an example, and resulted in actions steps that can be applied. Its a very dense read though, and I’d recommend spreading it out over an extended period of time.