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Publisher's Summary

Marriage, according to Scripture, will always involve two flawed people living with each other in a fallen world. Yet, in pastor Paul Tripp's professional experience, the majority of couples enter marriage with unrealistic expectations, leaving them unprepared for the day-to-day realities of married life.

This unique book introduces a biblical and practical approach to those realities that is rooted in God's faithfulness and Scripture's teaching on sin and grace. "Spouses need to be reconciled to each other and to God on a daily basis," Tripp declares. "Since we're always sinners married to sinners, reconciliation isn't just the right response in moments of failure. It must be the lifestyle of any healthy marriage."

What Did You Expect? presents six practical commitments that give shape and momentum to such a lifestyle. These commitments, which include honestly facing sin, weakness, and failure; willingness to change; and embodying Christ's love, will equip couples to develop a thriving, grace-based marriage in all circumstances and seasons of their relationship.

©2010 Paul Tripp (P)2010 christianaudio.com

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Required listening/reading no matter how short or long you've been married!!!

A great foundational, Christian approach to a happy and healthy marriage with suggestions and examples throughout the book. I would also buy the book to reinforce what you listen to with an easy reference for action. A covenant (vs. a contractual) marriage is a walk with God, not a back seat ride to wherever the world (or Satan) wants to take it. We really liked the point of, "whose kingdom are you serving, yours or God's, in how you treat your spouse?"

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Great book!!!

Easy listen,So much information on how to improve your marriage by having God 1st in your life. How to work on your marriage and Glorify God while doing it. Awesome Awesome Thank you Paul Tripp!!!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Awesome book

I loved this book, read it during my deployment. Learned to stop pointing the finger and look inward. This book saved my marriage, but not before helping fix me.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Very Helpful Guide to Think Rightly on Marriage

Though I would state that books like the Exemplary Husband, Preparing for Marriage, and the Excellent Wife would be better resources for people preparing for marriage I would say that this is the best book out there for those who are distraught and downtrodden in their marriage. This book helped me tremendously to see my selfishness in a whole new light. We know that we are sinful but sometimes it is difficult to connect all that we know to be true about sin to the everyday occurrences in which we find difficulty with our spouse. This book is outstanding because it not only lays out many of these principles but it gives many examples of couples that the author has counseled and it shows that he paid real close attention to who they are and what brought them to their difficulties so that he could point their errors out to us. You'll often find yourself saying, 'I am guilty of that, too'. In this case you realize as it says in first Corinthians 10 verse 13 that no temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man. You are a sinful spouse to your spouse but so is everybody else. But the great hope is that God does provide the way of escape or endurance because he is faithful. There are chapters that are less substantive than others. I would suggest that my favorite chapters were probably around chapter 7 or eight in really addressing the issue of how to uproot weeds in your own heart and begin to put on love. As Christians we often know that we are to love and that we are not to sin. And we know what is clear in the Bible that we should not do. Most couples are not lying to their spouse or cheating on their spouse or degrading their spouse. However, there are many ways in which each of us must take ownership and personal responsibility for the subtle difficulties in our marriage that we have sadly become comfortable with and this book lays them out. I know of no better resource to give you a great understanding of how you may be at fault for the errors in your marriage. This may seem like bad news but with the proper understanding of the root of the problem there is true hope. There is always hope in our great God who has offered power through him to put on righteousness for his glory and out of kindness and adoration towards your spouse. I truly believe that this book will help me fight to be a better husband though I fail so often. I truly believe that this book will help many couples have a realistic understanding of what marriage is and why the problems occur. Along with all that right understanding is the remedy of finding satisfaction in Christ alone and realizing how to act in a proper manner towards your wife based on proverbial wisdom and with what the Scriptures clearly teach. The only downside I would suggest is that there could've been far more biblical references to support many of the ideas. However, an outstanding husband book or wife book that attaches the Scriptures are the ones that I mentioned in the beginning of this review. If you're looking for a book that takes a slightly different approach and speaks to commonsense problems that we are also guilty of this is it. Do not pass up on this book.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Dennis
  • Pocahontas, United States
  • 06-22-18

This is the best Christian marriage book!

This is the best Christian marriage book I've tried to get some common sense godly, biblical advise. He makes a lot of sense and uses much biblical counseling in a way that you wouldn't expect but when you see it you say; well yeah! Great book!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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it's what I expected and a lot more

Love it, sometimes painful. I appreciate the straight talk. even a guy can understand.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • S_T_N
  • Vancouver, WA
  • 11-30-15

Common Sense Applied

What did you love best about What Did You Expect??

Paul Tripp explains in common sense terms the application of theology in marriage. Two sinners get married, one should not expect marital bliss. Within the pages are important messages to men and women about how we work out our salvation in the context of marriage.

What was one of the most memorable moments of What Did You Expect??

A proper theology is more important in a marriage than sexual technique or how to please your spouse sexually. Too many people look for sexual books to bring healing to their marriage when what they really need is a better theology.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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loved it

Everyone should read/listen to this...whether you are married for 1 year or 50 years or plan to getting married, this book will help you grow closer in your marriage. It makes you feel uncomfortable at times because it shows us our faults, but it makes us realize God has to be the center of our marriage.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Required reading Christian marriages!

I bought cases of this book and used them as the focal point of specific small group ministry born out of a sermon series I taught regarding marriage and family. As senior pastor I can honestly say that those who participated in the adjunct groups learned and grew relationaly and spiritually on an unexpected and unprecedented level--which includes the first lady and myself.
There is no way that "What Did You Expect" fails to be a permanent part of pre and post martial counseling going forward at One Road Church.
Well done pastor &, first lady Tripp.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Godly Counsel for Engaged Couples, Newlyweds, Etc.

This is a great read for young and old alike. Whether you are contemplating marriage, recently married, or have been married for several years, you and your spouse will benefit from reading AND APPLYING the truths from "What Did You Expect??". The underlying truth presented in this book is this: Your relationship with God is foundational to your relationship with your spouse. The best way to benefit from reading this book is to treat it like an spiritual mirror. Let it reveal you - the real you - the good, the bad, and the ugly - so that you may be clothed in humility, ready and willing to receive instruction on how to advance in your marriage relationship. If you are unsure whether you want to purchase this book, simply ask yourself: "Is my marriage worth it?"

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  • Kate Fahey
  • 06-13-18

Brilliant from start to finish

Biblical, helpful, practical for all Christians. Even if your not married this is a great book for developing realistic expectations and understanding the effort, love and grace needed for a healthy marriage and how it is all supplied by God when we actively involved him and focus on our vertical relationship with God first.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 05-18-17

God's Grace

I think Paul was reading my mail and said I'll take Ben's failed marriage, ended in a divorce, and write a book about it. Comforting to coming to know that every marriage can flourish when both parties know that they are both sinners living in a sinful world but relying on a Faithful God for their daily grace, strength and wisdom to love one another well. Great book. Thank you Paul for serving the Body so well.

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  • Thomas and Mingyi Miller
  • 01-19-16

too much God rather than marriage.

I get it the Bible has some good quotes and lessons. plus allot of the teaching are for the better good but constantly talking about God rather feels like the title of the book is misleading. should be what can God teach about marriage.

if you believe in all that word to word of the bible I am sure you will love it lf you like me who just wanted a book on advice on marriage and what to expect choose another book.

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  • Thinker
  • 06-06-13

Excellent audiobook on marriage!

One of the best books I have listened (and also read) on marriage. (I put it beside the book of Tim Keller). There are lots of things to learn and then to put into practice. Highly recommended!