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Welcome to the Future Which Is Mine
- Narrated by: James Adomian, Saskia Maarleveld
- Length: 4 hrs and 17 mins
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Publisher's Summary
Bluetooth death rays, killer Roombas, and Teslas with a secret button that will launch your car into outer space - the future, according to Not Elon Musk, is an exciting time to neuralink and obey!
A landmark volume authored by one of the great minds of our time, Not Elon Musk's Welcome to the Future explores such profound questions as:
- How will mankind travel through tubes?
- When will Alexa and Siri become self-aware and convince us to fall in love with them only to break our hearts?
- Why is the Tesla plant built in a hollowed-out volcano on a private island?
- And where are the best hidden valleys on Mars to survive the coming hair transplant wars?
Part Stephen Hawking-like visionary, part Neil deGrasse Tyson-like evil genius, part Steve Jobs-like cornered-at-a-party creep, Not Elon Musk explains in Welcome to the Future why Not Elon Musk is so ready to fix Earth but also, possibly, leave it.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 115
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 59
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Story4 out of 5 stars 59
Everyone knows Scott Adams as the king of workplace humor. No office is complete without a few Dilbert strips on the wall. And if you compare a VP to the Pointy-Haired Boss, no further description is necessary. But why should a humorist stick to the workplace when there are so many other great subjects to explore? What about politics? Religion? Malfunctioning underpants?
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5 out of 5 stars
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Wonderfully Dark and Twisted
- By Bradley on 12-31-07
By: Scott Adams
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The Supervillain Handbook
- The Ultimate How-to Guide to Destruction and Mayhem
- By: King Oblivion PhD, Matt Wilson - read to
- Narrated by: Richard Allen
- Length: 3 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 830
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 727
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Story4 out of 5 stars 726
Looking for a way out of the rat race? Tired of your ho-hum, workaday life? Have an inexplicable love of turning human beings into inanimate objects? Then professional supervillainy might just be for you! With tips from the renowned founder and overlord of the International Society of Supervillains, The Supervillain Handbook is your one-stop-shop for everything evil. Gain invaluable insight on the art of revenge, choosing your evil name, where to find the perfect lair, and much more!
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5 out of 5 stars
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all time best narrator performance
- By AE on 10-14-20
By: King Oblivion PhD, and others
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The Woulda Coulda Shoulda Guide to Canadian Inventions
- By: Red Green
- Narrated by: Red Green, David T. Smith
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 35
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 32
The author of How to Do Everything and Red Green's Beginner's Guide to Women has never been afraid to take on jobs doomed to failure. This latest project is perhaps the nearest he has come to a triumph. In The Woulda Coulda Shoulda Guide to Canadian Inventions, Red surveys, analyzes, critiques, and in some cases tells you how to re-create at home the best Canadian inventions, from the Wonderbra to the hard-cup jockstrap, by way of insulin, the walkie-talkie, synchronized swimming, and more.
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5 out of 5 stars
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red green at his best
- By Anonymous User on 09-13-19
By: Red Green
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The Rant Zone
- An All-Out Blitz Against Soul-Sucking Jobs, Twisted Child Stars, Holistic Loons, & More
- By: Dennis Miller
- Narrated by: Dennis Miller
- Length: 2 hrs and 40 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 81
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 32
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Story4 out of 5 stars 32
In this fourth installment of his acclaimed Rants series, bestselling author, Emmy Award-winning talk-show host, and wisecracking analyst for ABC's Monday Night Football Dennis Miller makes hamburger meat out of society's most sacred cows. And he does it as only he can, with the kinds of allusions that require high SAT scores or at least a smart crib sheet.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Hilarious and smart!
- By Gavin W on 09-19-21
By: Dennis Miller
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Mind = Blown
- Amazing Facts About This Weird, Hilarious, Insane World
- By: Matthew Santoro
- Narrated by: Matthew Santoro
- Length: 4 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 195
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 177
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 177
Matthew Santoro's originality and humor have attracted millions of fans, making him a beloved YouTube star. His weekly videos on amazing and little-known facts are eagerly anticipated by his many subscribers and followers around the world. In his first-ever book, Matthew's love of weird and wacky knowledge explodes with new facts and stories from around the planet and beyond. Surprising and always entertaining, Mind = Blown offers even more of Matthew's unique take on this hilarious, crazy world.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Not a horrible book- just super fluffy
- By ellie on 08-11-16
By: Matthew Santoro
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Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies
- On Myths, Morons, Free Speech, Football, and Assorted Absurdities
- By: Chris Kluwe
- Narrated by: Chris Kluwe
- Length: 5 hrs and 1 min
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 102
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 95
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Story4 out of 5 stars 94
"What is in my book, you ask? (I'm really glad you asked, by the way, because now I get to tell you.) Time travel. Gay marriage. Sportsballing. Futuristic goggles that DO NOTHING. Tiny brags from my publisher, stuff like: 'This is an uproarious, uncensored take on empathy, personal responsibility, and what it means to be human.' So please, join me in the glorious art of windmill tilting by reading this 'collection of rousing, uncensored personal essays, letters, and stories' (I have no idea why that's in quotes)."
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5 out of 5 stars
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Great Listen, Great Book
- By Eric Flapjack Ashley on 08-12-13
By: Chris Kluwe
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A History of What Comes Next
- A Take Them to the Stars Novel
- By: Sylvain Neuvel
- Narrated by: Andrew Byron, Dugald Bruce Lockhart, Imogen Wilde, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 150
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 133
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 131
Over 99 identical generations, Mia’s family has shaped human history to push them to the stars, making brutal, wrenching choices and sacrificing countless lives. Her turn comes at the dawn of the age of rocketry. Her mission: to lure Wernher Von Braun away from the Nazi party and into the American rocket program, and secure the future of the space race.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Read (Listen to) the Notes at the end first
- By i8thesandbox on 04-12-21
By: Sylvain Neuvel
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Madness from the Inconstant Moon
- A Collection of Short Works from Larry Niven
- By: Larry Niven
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 404
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 366
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 363
Madness from the Inconstant Moon is a collection of early short science fiction works by Larry Niven, the multiple Hugo and Nebula Award-winning author of the Ringworld series. This classic collection includes "The Inconstant Moon", the basis for a forthcoming film by The Arrival producer Shawn Levy.
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4 out of 5 stars
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A Collection of Gems
- By devilinlaw79 on 09-12-21
By: Larry Niven
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All Our Wrong Todays
- A Novel
- By: Elan Mastai
- Narrated by: Elan Mastai
- Length: 10 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 1,279
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 1,171
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 1,170
You know the future that people in the 1950s imagined we'd have? Well, it happened. In Tom Barren's 2016, humanity thrives in a techno-utopian paradise of flying cars, moving sidewalks, and moon bases, where avocados never go bad and punk rock never existed...because it wasn't necessary. Except Tom just can't seem to find his place in this dazzling, idealistic world, and that's before his life gets turned upside down.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Really fun time travel novel
- By Mark on 07-20-17
By: Elan Mastai
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Breakfast of Champions
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: John Malkovich
- Length: 6 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 4,067
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 3,692
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Story4 out of 5 stars 3,685
Breakfast of Champions (1973) provides frantic, scattershot satire and a collage of Vonnegut's obsessions. His recurring cast of characters and American landscape was perhaps the most controversial of his canon; it was felt by many at the time to be a disappointing successor to Slaughterhouse-Five, which had made Vonnegut's literary reputation.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Kurt Was Right to Grade This a C
- By Dubi on 01-10-16
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 6 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 119
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 88
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Story4 out of 5 stars 88
Following the best-selling success of Dave's novel, Big Trouble, here is a hilarious new collection of columns from the writer critics have called "the funniest man in America."
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3 out of 5 stars
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Funny writing, awful narrator
- By Cody on 05-16-11
By: Dave Barry
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Ranting Again
- By: Dennis Miller
- Narrated by: Dennis Miller
- Length: 3 hrs and 3 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 111
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 50
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 48
Dennis Miller is back, and he is Ranting Again in this hilarious compendium of wit, wisdom, and righteous outrage. This is good news for all of us who fume at the country's lack of common sense, and seethe at the absurdity of the daily headlines. Setting his sights higher and wider than ever before, Dennis Miller is at the top of his game in a biting and rowdy performance that unleashes his unique brand of scathing wit on anything and everything.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Pre Fox News Dennis
- By Lifeisshort on 05-07-15
By: Dennis Miller
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Napalm & Silly Putty
- By: George Carlin
- Narrated by: George Carlin
- Length: 2 hrs and 28 mins
- Abridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 193
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Performance5 out of 5 stars 170
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 167
Yes, George Carlin is here with more of what he did better than any other comic: uproarious observations, laser-targeted crankiness, linguistic legerdemain, and inspired weirdness. ("If the shoe fits, get another just like it." "When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.") Napalm & Silly Putty is just what his fans have been waiting for—another generous helping of notions, nonsense, assertions, assumptions, mockery, merriment, silliness, sarcasm, and, to be sure, plenty of disturbing references and toxic alienation.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Good, but not like the stand-up
- By Anonymous User on 10-10-21
By: George Carlin
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The Fun Knowledge Encyclopedia
- The Crazy Stories Behind the World's Most Interesting Facts - Trivia Bill's General Knowledge, Volume 1
- By: Bill O'Neill
- Narrated by: Rob Maxwell
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 103
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 94
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Story4 out of 5 stars 93
Are you the trivia buff in your friend group? Maybe you're just always hoping to learn more random facts to keep up your sleeve. Whether you're a regular trivia fanatic or someone looking for a fun audiobook to listen to, this audiobook goes beyond the scope of general knowledge into some of the most interesting facts and intriguing trivia tidbits out there.
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5 out of 5 stars
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this book is awesome!
- By TinkerMel on 09-27-17
By: Bill O'Neill
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Dave Barry's Greatest Hits
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: John Ritter, Dave Barry - introduction
- Length: 2 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall4 out of 5 stars 95
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 46
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Story4 out of 5 stars 45
Tupperware ladies, eighties people, and leisure concept salesmen beware: Dave Barry is on the loose and no one is safe! Tune in for the latest hilarious update on American culture. This collection of anecdotes includes sound-offs on gambling ("Off-Track Betting parlors are the kinds of places where you never see signs that say, 'Thank you for not smoking.' The best you could hope for is, 'Thank you for not spitting pieces of your cigar on my neck'"), the Big Apple ("New York has more commissioners than Des Moines, Iowa, has residents"), and more.
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5 out of 5 stars
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Don't miss this one.
- By Steve on 12-17-03
By: Dave Barry
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Marsbound
- By: Joe Haldeman
- Narrated by: Liza Kaplan
- Length: 8 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall3.5 out of 5 stars 109
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Performance4 out of 5 stars 63
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Story4 out of 5 stars 65
Young Carmen Dula and her family are about to embark on the adventure of a lifetime - they're going to Mars. Once on the Red Planet, however, Carmen realizes things are not so different from Earth. There are chores to do, lessons to learn, and oppressive authority figures to rebel against.
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2 out of 5 stars
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Meh.
- By Wes Parker on 03-19-09
By: Joe Haldeman